Childhood 1
Growing up I would always hear things like “she’s so perfect how did you raise her” and “wow such a princess” my life seemed like it was sunshine and rainbows. All because I acted “too mature for my age, ” life wasn’t how it appeared. At home My parents were constantly raising a thunderstorm that for some reason always lingered around them, I know they stopped loving each other long ago I just wanted them to be happy even if it meant being apart.
I had no fear I would touch worms, watch horror movies and laugh it out, but my mom always threw a fit “ugh so disgusting why did I have such a child” well maybe I did fear something, nighttime I was always too scared to go t bed fearing that y parents would argue again. One night it was so bad I had a nightmare, a black and white city and a woman running in the opposite direction from where I was, then I noticed that’s my mom I was so scared I started chasing her moments later my dad appeared running away from me as well. I woke up crying I never told my parents because I thought it was a bother for them and for me to explain my feelings.
Maybe I was selfish, I tried my best to make everyone around me happy so that I could be happy, one of them was my mom. I never seemed to satisfy her with my achievements neither in school nor at home, there was a time when my mom hit depression because she found out my dad was cheating... she distanced herself from everyone even me, but for some reason, my 6-year-old brain always claimed it on myself “I am such a bad daughter If I can’t make my mom feel happy” “she probably hates me’, I made her food every day, she never ate it I knew how to take care of myself the basics heating the stove and cutting things. One day I went with my grandma that lived right next door because she made food so I decided to bring some for my mom of course instead of being happy she was mad “what did they tell you huh” “did they say I’m a bitch?“, I stared at her scared I said “no, I just wanted to get you some food” tears rolling down my eyes hoping she wouldn't hit me. She graved the food and walked to her room many would have been scared or sad, but I was so happy she was finally eating I didn't care if that meant I had to be hurt in the process.
My life was simple waking up putting my uniform on and eating breakfast waiting at the table that my mother prepared for me. Then we would start walking to my school which was about 12 minutes away, I waved my mom goodbye as she walked away to get to work. I spent 6 hours in school like any other kid never getting in trouble with perfect maks. But as I said before that wasn't enough for my mother when we would get home I would take out my homework and she would just watch if I were to get a question wrong she would yell at me or hit me depending on her mood.
