Fantastic Beasts: Niffler inbound

Theseus:(on the phone)What do you mean there is a niffler inbound??

Newt:(Walks onstage) Where is that damn niffler?

Theseus:(Pulling Newt to the side)

Niffler inbound!

Newt: To where?

Theseus: To Azkaban... for destruction of muggle property and theft. Is it your niffler?

Newt: Well he is missing...

Theseus: Check your case.

Newt: Ok I will. (Proceeds to open bag and throw various objects out)

(Newt pulls out a gryffindor scarf)

Theseus: Why do you have this?? You were in hufflepuff

(Newt pulls out several deathly hallows bracelets)

Theseus: What???

Newt: Well I'm selling them for a bit of money

(Newt pulls out a broken bracelet)

Theseus: This was Leta's. Why... How... Where did you...

Newt: Its better if you don't ask... He isn't here...

Theseus: What???

Newt: My niffler isn't here, Theseus, keep up.

Theseus: It's headed to Azkaban then

Newt: What do you mean? You cannot put a creature like a niffler in Azkaban. And we both know that he can't help it. He shouldn't go to Azkaban. Please save his soul.

Theseus: I know but, Newt, you must understand, it has been warned not to steal and look.. It stole. It broke the warning, Newt, and now it's Umbridge's choice what happens to him. It's not under my control now.

Newt: But Theseus, he's only young. Please help me smuggle him out or something. He's a niffler, it's not like he can control it! It's in his nature to steal and I know that we were seen but we can fix it. Please Theseus. We need to stick together. Please...

* Niffler runs past looking innocent *

Newt: (sighing)The niffler is always cute and innocent you know that Theseus

Theseus: Not quite innocent but I guess I can get you out of this. This is the last time Newt...

Newt: Thank you, Theseus

Theseus: CONTROL IT NEWT! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I WILL SAY IT! NEWT I'M WARNING YOU! CONTROL IT!

Newt: You know I can't do that

* 10 mins later... *

* The niffler runs back into the Ministry of Magic and we see Theseus and Jane (new love). The niffler looks at Jane and Jane immediately falls in love with it. Theseus watches in horror. Theseus storms out to catch Newt looking for the niffler *

Theseus: NEWT YOUR NIFFLER STOLE AGAIN!!! I WARNED YOU!!!

Newt: I said I couldn't promise that. You know what he's like Theseus. He can't...

Theseus: THAT THING HAS TO GO!!!

Newt: What!? Why!? What did he steal???

Theseus: The love of my life...

Newt: Oh my god.. you moved on from Leta! I'm so sorry. I can't change what's happened today with what's her name but let's get that niffler!

Theseus: Like old times, Newt

Newt: You could say that.

* They draw their wands *

* They look at each other, they nod and they run offstage *

I wrote this script for others to use and I enjoyed every moment of it. I hope that you as the readers would perform this to make it known. I, myself, am performing this at my school and I know that I will enjoy it. Please comment your opinions on this script. Have fun! - Neo