Reunion
I sit on a park bench looking out on the bay. This place is so nice in the summer. It's just before sunset and the boats are slowly making their way back to the harbour.
The dusk brings a cool breeze to my face, a welcome relief in the July heat.
I'm dressed casual but slightly elevated - first impressions count - He's known me in the past and should really expect less of me but, I still feel I should ease back into our old routine.
Time is supposed to change a person they say.
I know from recent pictures of him that we definitely don't look like we did - the last time we were in person together. A little more added to some areas, a little missing from others.
I'm nervous but I'm ready to rip the bandaid off.
What is he going to say?
Is he going to smile when he sees me, or instantly regret his decision?
Meeting me involves taking a big risk for both of us. I know one of us is going to be disappointed in the end.
"Sarah?"
I turn my head, a tall, medium build man says my name, the sun causes a shadow to darken his features from me. His hair appears spiky in the shadow and his slightly goofy gait reminds me of the boy I knew so long ago.
"James?" I answer getting up to greet him.
He comes closer and his smile reveals his straight white teeth. His ever present dimples are amplified and his green eyes twinkle with interest.
"Wow! You've really changed!" we say at the same time pointing with inquisitive faces.
"Jinx" I say.
"I owe you a coke?" he replies and reaches from behind his back to reveal two gingerale bottles.
"I know you're not really a coke fan" he shrugs "I hope I remembered correctly."
Laughing, I reach for one of the bottles. He continues to hold onto them and pulls me in for a hug.
"It's been a long time" he mumbles "I didn't know how much I missed you."
His hug is warm and cozy. Like a teddy you've cuddled in childhood. He's wearing a subtle cologne and I relax in his embrace as all my senses are flooded with memories. He feels so comfortable and yet, as much as it puts me at ease - it makes me put up a low fence of caution.
"I've missed you too" I say leaning back from the embrace to study his face better. He has lost some of the fullness in his cheeks with age and his hair has greyed more than his picture revealed. His forehead and eyes show a bit of wear but the young man I knew is still very present standing before me.
"What?" he asks smirking.
"Oh, nothing, just trying to remember" I say shaking my head a bit and smiling.
"You look basically the same Sarah, I feel like I've found a time machine."
"Get out of here" I scoff rolling my eyes.
We release from our embrace and sit back on the bench I had vacated.
He leans back resting his head on the bench looking up at the sky smiling.
"What?" I say smiling "You look like the cat that just ate the canary." I then crack the lid on my soda.
"I just" he sighs "I kinda didn't expect you to show up."
He turns to me and motions to tap his soda neck to mine.
"To infinity and beyond" we say in unison laughing and then take a sip.
An hour passes in what seems like minutes. Each of us eager to learn what we've missed in the past decade.
"Should we maybe stretch our legs a bit?" he asks rising from the bench.
I stop wiggling my toes in the sand and pick up my sandals - he takes our empties to the bin and returns.
I've now moved to the lake edge dipping my toes in the ever frigid waters.
"This lake is always so cold" I observe.
"I dunno" he says "I remember it getting pretty hot..." he waggles his eyebrows at me suggestively.
"Okay, Danny Zuko" I laugh.
"But oh oh those summer nights" he croons bending his knees in a silly 70s style dance.
We laugh falling in step with each other. His hand slightly grazing mine as our arms swing back and forth while walking.
It happens again and this time he takes my hand, my fingers instinctively intertwining with his. I lean on his arm as we now walk hand in hand.
After a short time, he stops and turns me towards him.
"I've always loved you Sarah" his voice husky "I should have spoken my mind all those years ago and never let you walk out of my life"
"I can appreciate that Jim" I say "We were young and stupid and if we didn't part we wouldn't have our children in our lives." I drag my toes in the sand looking out at the water "Everything happens for a reason."
"All things we could have done together" he sighs.
"All things I would have held you back from" I reply.
"You really think that?" he asks, shocked.
"Look at me Jim, I'm single again after wasting my youth on someone who was content to keep me as some trophy on his desk!" I hang my head "I was too stupid to see how trapped I was before it was too late."
"It's not too late" he says, leaning in taking my face in his hands. He slowly and gently places his lips on mine. His lips are still so soft and firm and I close my eyes losing myself in the moment. My chest flutters in memories of kisses from the past and I can't help myself from returning it.
I break the kiss leaning back.
"I'm sorry" he says.
"We really shouldn't have done that" I whisper.
"I really wanted to" he confesses.
"I wanted you to, too" I look down "but you're married" I sigh.
"I get it Sarah," he says, taking my shoulders in his hands and lightly squeezing "but I haven't been happy since I left you."
I look up into those hazy green eyes and try to see deeper into them - to find the truth.
"She's been thinking of leaving me for a while now" he admits "She's been casual in talking to other guys but she left her email open one night..." he glances up towards the sky "I was nosey and when I saw how deep she was into the affair, I couldn't take it. That's why I sent you that message" he sighs "If she could toss me aside so easily I had to at least know if you were available."
He takes a seat on a sand dune and reaches up for my hand.
I hesitate, then take it, snuggling into his arms as we look out on the sunset.
"I'm not perfect" I say.
"I don't expect you to be" he replies.
"I have bad days too" I rub my hands under my chin in thought "I can be very standoffish and secretive."
"You can't hide your secrets from someone who seeks to unlock them" he pushes me with his chest "Remember the last time we were at this beach and I almost threw you in the lake?" he teases.
"I remember" I say wistfully "I remember I was glad Scott was our third wheel and super jealous."
"You must have pixie blood" he muses "all the boys falling at the feet of Sarah Jade."
"Still the charmer" I push him back with my side.
He falls back into the sand, using his arms to drag me on top of him.
I laugh, but I also know that this is a dangerous slope I'm looking down.
I straddle his stomach, high enough to ignore the firmness pushing against his faded jeans.
I trace my fingers over the logo on his shirt, the pads of my fingers able to notice that he still works out even if it's not as hard as it once was.
My hair falls into my face and I smile.
He reaches up to tuck the hair behind my ears only for it to fall back out almost immediately.
I go against my better judgement and lean forward to kiss his mouth. He wets his lips in anticipation, his eyes narrowing with desire.
I kiss him, my lips slightly parting and I nibble his lower lip. He gently sucks on my top lip and he raises his knees to adjust me lower on his body.
"Sarah" he breathes.
He takes hold of my shoulders and rolls me to the side, causing him to be on top, his body covering mine at an angle.
He places his elbows on either side of my chest and looks down at me in awe.
"You're so beautiful" he whispers as he moves the hair from my face again.
"You're in need of new material" I tease briefly sitting up to peck his lips.
He growls and digs his head into my neck playfully nipping and licking around my collar.
I giggle pushing him away. My cheeks feeling flush like a teen.
Suddenly in the deepening dusk a light fills the area.
