Chapter 1
Back when the situations were fine between the two of us, I always believe that love is like a machine.
A machine that became a significant part of our lives that made every single thing easier as it seems before. Just like a love.
A love that makes us feel secured.
A love that gives us comfort and warmth.
A love that gives us that giddy feeling every time we are with the person that made us feel that.
A love that feels like home.
But when the things between us started to crash down like a machine who met its life expectancy, that is the time I refused my belief that love and machine are not really interconnected with one another.
That is the time I reminded myself that love and machine are different in many possible ways, except for one thing.
Love and machine will eventually hurt you when a single piece is missing. It won't work just how it works before.
Some of us will agree that love is when you feel contented with each other's arm. It is when you are happy when you are together. It is when they made you feel important to them. It is when you feel at ease as long as you see them happy. And as a naïve teenager as I am before, I am one of those people who believed with that kind of thinking. Same goes to a machine, most of them will tell you that a machine will work if it has the best parts. But even the best one has a hidden flaw. Even the best one will stop working as it aged by time, and if it is not used in a right way. It will not work just how it works before when you broke it and neglected it.
Love is not always a happy one. Love will cause you pain and it will hurt you on the long run.
Love is not always rainbows and butterflies.
Love is not always a happy ending.
Love is not always meant to stay.
Because some kind of love will make you the happiest and the contented one when it sets you free.
Love is all about loyalty.
Love is all about faith and trust towards one another.
Love is all about assurance that whatever challenges you might have face, both of you will stay with one another.
Without letting go.
Without breaking each other's heart.
I was a freshman communication student back then when I met him during his senior years as a mechanical engineering student in our university. He has that aura that will make your knees wobble and your hands tremble instantly as you met his cold gray eyes. He was that studious type of guy even his face and personality say otherwise. He was that guy that was surrounded by a bunch of girls but never gives even a single glance to them.
But even with his intimidating aura that might scare even a cat, he has the most precious heart every woman will dream of. I must say that I am a lucky one because he still noticed someone who's average looking like me. Someone who wants to kill their time on the library studying or keeping their sleeves in the dark reading books rather that enjoying their teenage life boozing on the loud music of bar every night, burning their lungs with the smoke of cigarettes, and drowning their throats with alcohols.
As cliché as it is, change is the only constant. Being with him for almost a year made me realized a lot of things. He made me realized that there is something more for me. He made me realized that there’s a lot of things that I can do when I look around me.
He made me realized that I should build my life the way I want, not the way other people want for me.
He made me realized that I should live my life on my own accordance.
And that is the life with him.
Our first encounter was not like a fairytale one. I might say that it was the most chaotic encounter that I have been experienced on my entire life. I cannot believe that encounter started the things between the two of us.
That encounter made us together.
And that encounter made us apart in the end.
But I didn’t regret meeting him. I didn’t regret the times I spent with him because every second that I am with him is worth it. Every minute is priceless. And every hour, every day, and every month that we have shared together cannot be compared with anything, or with anyone.
When we parted ways, I realized that not every relationship, not every story, not every fairy tale is a happy ending. There are some relationships that not ended up happily but still gave you lessons and contentment when you’re still in those situations because of the memories you made together. Because of the person you are with during those times.
When you love, you will get hurt.
When you get hurt, you need to heal.
And when you are healed, continue to live your life again. Move forward.
That is the MECHANICS OF LOVE.
