The moment of joy

Aunt, Aunt give back my Purus kanza said to me.

What, which bag? I return you already, I reply to her.

No you don’t gave me, she shouted. “O my God(OMG) suddenly I realized that I has lost her purse I was shocked “

We finding bag but it was stolen.

Her brother Scream” how careless you are you know there was 20 gram gold in Purus, loss of 2.50 lakh.

I am sorry plz don’t shout i'll pay you everybody were listing. I request humbly

So what I do I don’t care anyone you are responsible, He shouted louder.

My middle brother Yoqoob came and said what happened why both are you shout on my sister I tell him shortly I lost her bag my brother said she apology to you and we return you purse/handbag and gold and please Don’t shout on my sister, I knew the gravity of the situation What a mistake I made. Today was my 3rd brother Yousef wedding. I was happy because I will no longer have any responsibility now I will enjoying the life visiting every resort but what I knew that a big problem that is waiting and heading toward me. On the 23 February 2022 valeema ceremony day. Today I was sad because OMG , My parlor madam fired me from institute where I was learning the beautician course due to I have got prepared bride from another parlor. And also got late for reception as well as bride sister handed over me her purse and said I have money in it for travel next day. All problems were happened respectively.

When we reached marriage hall it was pack to capacity. She handed over clutch ,mobile and purse/bag to me during event she got back her stuff when I returned her mobile & cultch I thought that I returned all articles to her when function finished she asked me about her stuff I got shocked . Suddenly induced outbreak regarding stealing the bag everybody taunted me why do you take her stuff?

I was just crying and apologizing from all that meantime I knew that bag having 20 thousand rupees and 20 grams gold.if i had known the worth I never ever had took it. but my intentions was good I have done virtuous . Wish, I had not took her stuff, I had died had not come on wedding event.all was sad even childrens did not get mishchif this sad news of stolen virled in our clan and I am responsible of this incident. I am careless and intentionally lost her bag. Many people came to condolence sympathy but no body help me except mocks and taunts. my going to burst due to mentally pressure depression I wished to weep never got slept whole night as soon as I got sleep because “Day lessens grief” entire incident revolving into mind resultantly I remember entire incident like day 1st thus I wake up.

One I thought how was doing virtuous is terrified. “Repay not virtue with vice”(naki barbad guna lazim) Since 17 years I has been adopting my nephew. In our country 30 year old girl consider old that she can’t get any happiness neither got marred nor give birth to children.is my relatives don’t know about me? that how i did care of nephew? how I had spent 17 years? “Vice is summary, virtue is slow” They directions me your more than half age has lapsed you have not any benefit to get married. I am not good girl so that is why I couldn’t get married. Now I become overage due to no body want to marry with me even my father utters to relatives that if anybody will ask about her engagement or wedding then I will do. Now we can’t force to anybody that come and get marred with our daughter and now I thought, that guest came from village at home no body face problem now whereas bag has lost unintentionally all relatives against me. “Virtue and happiness are mother and daughter” but hare everything go wrong. Our opinion is never wrong

I decided to commit suicide after that I began to seem innocent because to get good fame have to die in this society and people make die through taunts and mock. But I did not commit suicide because in childhood I had watched a motivational program regarding problem solution in which he thought that whenever you get worry nobody to share and listen the problem then you began to write on page after some time you will relies and laugh on your past incident that was cause of your sadness, weeping and crying. I was conducting that from childhood really it’s worked. I wrote everything and consider others mistake mine and I calculated that its worth make 3lacks pkr (0.3 millon) I thought inside in my heart that I can gathered it in one year. It’s a pity amountWhy should I commit suicide for such petty amount? Because “Many a little makes a mickle”(bond bond kr k ghara bhar jata hy) Why hurt old parents no never. Later everything be good and better.

Now Began Ramadan fasting month I utter, that I shall start job after ’Eid. I was satisfied as per my plan. Life become easier. Because “Time is the universal healer”

suddenly my father that went to village to drop my sister in law( younger brother wife) while coming back to attend wedding ceremony he got heart attack and water filled into his lungs he rashly brought to Karachi and shifted to NICVD hospital .where doctor diagnosed his illness they diagnosed water filled into his lungs in past he was smoker due to his lungs got damged.my father 12 days remain hospitalized in ICU where doctor shifted him on ventilator for 3 days due to week lungs and breathing later he shifted to ICU where he survived . In 12 days neither nobody asked about financial help nor offer condolences. “Friends fall off in adversity”

They had utters when will die your father for funeral and last ritual rites must bring him in village. I got so hurt about my relatives blood relation that my father whole life has spent to make happy them now this condition they brought reward of callousness no body offer pray of health. Non relatives offer wish prays encouragement regarding my father get well soon. Later let it be done my father get recover soon .and come into home to recover from illness to walking on his own foot. And all relatives’ mouth shut up. “False friends are worse than bitter enemies”

Now neither have any hope nor necessity of good thing except god. Despite of that afformentied incident. What I think of the past today is nothing special except bitter memories so meet me this is me Sara shah .now I am 32 years old. My life was not so easy from childhood plethora of problems neither make both ends meet , toys for playing and nor new cloths for Eid. Despite quagmire of problems I was very happy with my family. There are 7 members in my family .I have parents ,3 brothers , one sis and granny (babey). My villagers called her B-Aman. Everybody respect her she was Nobel woman who sacrificed her whole life for nourishment of their nephews and nieces.

After death of her 5 brother and two nephews those were died from TB she took responsibility to nourishment of their descendent . After death Three brother wives got marriage on another place and children left behind at home one brother have no children and other brother have not married and nephews are young when they died her father died many years ago . Two women’s took care 9 children 7 girls and 2 boys.

She (baybay) was aunt of my parents. She remained virgin never got marriage for orphan kid’s nourishment. She did look after treatment children disease with herbs and reciting verse

Not only she treatments with herbs and Exorcise/baptize/conjuring water and oil (Expel through adjuration or prayers) for healing but offer lunch to patients those come from remote areas also. If ever some wayfarer had come to village she would have offer hospitality to them and also she was famous for honesty people’s gold and money got kept here for protection.

When My grandmother got married and after wedding she requested to her new husband I want to bring my children here he accepted her request this man has already 3 children from ex wife.when she shifted her children in new home her mother in law first serve ex wife children later served to her children. Her mother in law served her children i.e my (father, uncle and aunt) oats and remnant food bread which they can’t eat and digest due this inequity children raised voice and complaint received to bay by she took action and rashly reached to children and pic children in basket and drop to parent home in this regard she hired a person on rent for carrying the children because there was mountain area children can’t walk smoothly. Anyway children shifted to home.

My grandmother give birth 3 children on new home and she baybay got admition my father and uncle into school because they had to take care home and assets and wood well but did not admitted girls into school and nor get food well girls life was not so easy because she were conduct enteral and external domestic works like as in morning bring water from natural spring, drawing water from well and goes junle for geting some wood for cooking food on oven and stove.

And Winnoing the wheat and corn cob.

when coming back to home scorching sun light become very hot and my mother has not any shoes to wearing then her bear foot start burning and she keep her foot on stone for getting some relax,she got throne her hands and foot during collecting wood resultantly blood come out from skin she round some clothes.my one mother friend has one pair of shoes some time she offer her and help her in works. In night girls makeing embroidery work in the light of ( laltain) so that earn some money.as well as women making rope from jute plant for knitting wood bed (charapi) and chairs.

Mother disclosed walking on hot way. Children in night reading in laltain light.

Jute plant wet process in this regard branches reserved for one month into to water to make soft and extract some rope fiber from its branches. Later bags are knitted.

When those orphan (kids) grew up and young granny got done their marriages .my father and mother are first cousin who grownup together. Other cousin married another relatives. After my father grandma death my parents and granny left alone in this world and they live together. When my mother get pregnant my father took her to meet with my grandmother after climbing the mountain and uphill ways due to my mother got abortion of 4 months at the end on this sad occasion my grandmother uttered with abhor her rubbish (aboarshen) threw into cow dung. She did not make sympathy with her. “Time passes, sayings endure”

In 1980 my father moved to metropolitan city Karachi. he started work in hospital and he had come back home after 4/5 years. When he came back home our relative Enraged against my mother.my father had Doubt on my mother. When my elder sister and brother had borne then my mother said I have need nothing except children protection. Our relatives ill advised to mother that you got divorced my mother reply her if I got divorced my descendant will ruined their life i don’t want that my children work under supervision of my relatives or my husband brother wife’s. She has been borne the brunt for children later she give birth to 3 more children one has died during construction work of my uncle later I sara was born.

Before marriage aba (my father) loved ami (my mother) but he started hate her and still because her suspecting nature.my mother was so beautiful and she did all of work herself my father gave some money after some time to her.

When my father got lot of money he used to smoking and he adopted poor and helpless family for nourishment but that family began to interfered our family matters I can said they become our new lord. Because they had patronage of our father. Our new lord started decision making of our home.

Father still paying money to step siblings and take care even he provided big chunk in property. Whereas they are not deserve by law.

In 1996 When I was 5 year old my mother was too sick. She doesn’t move my elder sister came from Karachi. My elder brother and sister live in Karachi with my father. My sis have gone for studies because in our village have not any high school college after primary. My grandmother don’t like girls education. But babey wants my sister get education because my sister love to studies. Our relatives were against my sister education. But babey support her. And my elder brother join police after their intermediate.

My sister, marriage was about to ready my brother in law was doing job in Pak air forces they love each other. One month before marriage in our village came flood and our some chunk of house to flow into flood. We had to repaired and renovated home for her marriage. Wedding function was too good peoples remember long time my sister was very happy because brother in law allow my sister for higher studies.

after one month of marriage my sister came home to attending her best friend marriage at evening suddenly my younger 10 years old brother appeared into room from playground where my sister, her two friends and two brother gathered and he took gun and stated acting of shooting like dramas and said you know in drama’s actors do like this my sister and her two friends laying on bed eating fruits apple my sister standup and shout plz don’t do this my brother said its empty she said The devil make shoots. He push the trigger and aim on her resultantly fire opened she got bullet injury and she embraced martyred( shadat) on the spot after she rushly shifted to hospital but doctor confirm her death. Our laughing house became a place of mourning because” A good man dies early”

Our relatives got benefit of this incident opportunity after this incident relatives provoke against my mother. they had want my father offer divorce to my mother and takeover at our home property. meantime my granny admitted in hospital for eyes operation. she don’t know about incident of sad demise of baji (my sis). After the fight between mother and father, because Relatives told Abba that your wife is not taking back the dowry because she wants to marry your youngest daughter 5 year old with your son in law. Aunt my uncle wife Speaking to my sister’s in-laws, this dowry don’t bring back because they want to keep your gold. “Adversity is the best judge of a friend and a foe”

It is culture in our society that dowry is provided to bride for home making ad running daily routine life. And gold item, shoes, clothes dresses and makeup are provided by groom this called (Bari) That stuff is provided by bride called (jehaz)dowry and which is provided by groom is called bari.

One day after my sister death My fatvher and mother started quarrel with each other and ordered me that take decision whether you will stay with father at city(Karachi) or stay with mother at village. But father forcibly took me city.

After one year my elder brother took me back to the village because my mother used to crying for me. My father refused to bear our expenses. When I have gone to school I hate my life because in school girls troll me that your mother will get your marriage with your brother in law. i hate studies I hate everything because There was everywhere conversation of our home. But some kind villager took care us if they see mother they ask to mother give meal milk and Encouraging because after entire incident sad demise of my sister death my mother got mentally disturb and become 80 % mad. My mother become some mad she doesn’t care her food cloth and health. She would walk in the streets and then lie down near her sister’s grave and said that my daughter is alone She is afraid of being alone. I do all house work after school but I was too little doing all of this me and my two brother become strength each other.

We all are sibling seems to be young then our age neither mischief nor stubbornness even pocket money 2rupees that was granted by bayby after school return to her. One day my mother glance on us when we stand at the entrance of home after school then she realized that I have some children then with this essence she came into home and made love with us after this moment she started her own care. Because “Time is great healer”

In 2000 my middle brother got engaged in Karachi we are very happy father would have patch up with us because “Time and thinking tame the strongest grief” after engagement we came back our village. Next day our exam were about to start we are excited I was in 7 class and brother was 8 class but next day after school we are on the way suddenly I heard news from my cousin he told me about my brother accident. My school situated in remote area. we was going to other villager for school.

That day I get off very soon from school one spoil boy/miscreant drifting tractor my brother while onboard on it and fall down and got fractured both legs. Public bus that was coming behind the tractor they indicates to stop about accident .my brother badly injured ejected him by people under the tractor tires and rashly shifted city hospital. “Virtue and happiness are mother and daughter” All lay loads on the willing horse

Day lessens grief

After this accident his dream to join army has broken because he became medically unfit. National hero Major aziz Bhatti (war hero of 1965 ) was his favorite hero.in chilled hood he had uttered the I will become Major Aziz bhati. tractor driver was churlish and boorish boy that was his hobby to make worry others. He has patronization of his uncle who was childless. Due to the he adopted him due pampering he become churlish. His uncle was influence in the area police can’t take action against him. This spoil boy committed to kill my class fellow sister due to refuse him wedding she received bullet injuries but sustain to life. we were too worry accident case lodged into police station they offered money for compromised but my father did not take money and forgive them without any compensate and in court judge become angry on my father that your son is in hospital and you pardon him. For better treatment we moved to big city karachi I,baby and father stay remained at village home . When mother back to village father moved to city. Brother has been continuing his education. We shifted into city and after few years I heard that in a fatal car accident spoil boy killed. His friend fall down on tree and his bake boon fractured thus he paralyzed and during treatment died.” A bad way has a bad end”

middle brother got marriage in 2002 meanwhile I got information about baybay she was ill brother his wife and mother went to village to ask after baybay and got ticket for bayby but she did not come city for treatment because she love to native land where his father and mother were buried and she died in blessing month ramzan. We couldn’t go village due to unavailable flights. We had borne the brunt she was utter to remembering me and my brother. After her last ritual rites our family has shifted to city. And we are happy that we are all stay together.

In 2003 our sister in law(wife of middle brother) after nine months she was get pregnant she give birth to my nephew we forget entire griefs and become happy. But “Fortune has no reason “ in the book of fate was write another grief but book of fate reveled some new issues. Our uncle who was ex-army bus driver he got accident some 28 peoples died on the spot and some injured bus owner lodged FIR on him and one year we remain worry and middle brother began to live separate.

Meanwhile my matric exam and my elder brother marriage began simultaneously. we went Punjab for attend wedding after one month of wedding couple went for honey-moon in northern areas and resorts. When they come back home Karachi my sister in law ( nabela ) got pregnant. But “No flying from fate” after nine months of marriage she give birth two baby boys one died and one remain alive after few hours(4) she had died during treatment. Her dead body shifted to her native place via ambulance.

I was loved to serve in military service but that time female were not allowed in Pakistan army. In 2006 when COA chief army staff Mr. Mushrif allowed women in army when my dream come true for me but meantime i was very depress I have two ways 1st my dream I should join army servers for my country and 2nd I should take care/nourishment my nephew who only two months old. I think a lot then I realized that if I take care my nephew because “charity begins at home”. So day night I had care my nephew he was very weak two years we had gone hospital every day. When he started going to school. I rejoin my studied after intermediate I take admission in Islamic school I never think about my life or my life partner a lot of proposal came for me but my mother rejected them. Money happiness luxurious lifestyle waiting for me but I reject all things for my nephew.

There are only one mission and subject in my life was that I have to achieve it was nourishment of my nephew. And during his care I continued my education meanwhile when my nephew got 6 year old my brother got 2nd marriage all thought that step mother will take care of my nephew pic up his all responsibilities I will release from his all responsibilities but all prediction was wrong she showed herself careless not only yield mentally torture me but my nephew and family also this is another long story concisely no body was ready to adopt my nephew except me.

I learned others skill such as stitching, cooking ,computer, jewelry making etc. all considered me perfect girl when my 3rd brother marriage going to held once more I thought that everything is going to perfect because my nephew in 9th class. but happened sad incident.

I am still alive and life running in the hope and wait of joy of moment.