Chapter 1
“Hey, Dreher!”
I stop and turn to face the voice calling my last name. It’s not likely someone would shout after Jakob like that, so they must be looking for me. In the middle of the crowded hallway, it’s hard to find it at first, until Kyle says my name again, his voice fighting through the throng of students between us.
Kyle Weber is tall, broad, blond, and smiling in exactly the same way he had when we first became lab partners at the beginning of the term. I’ve known him since I started at this school, but it feels different now to look at him.
“Hey!” I say, lowering my voice as I fight my way through the crowd of students and toward him. “What’s up?”
A flicker of something – nervousness, maybe – flashes over his face and disappears just as quickly. He takes my elbow and leads me to a small alcove where it’s quieter and other students aren’t jostling around us.
“Hey,” he says again, voice low and careful. “I’ve been thinking, and I wanted to tell you something.”
He pauses to take a deep breath, and a warm flush starts in the middle of my chest, climbing to my ears and soaking me in itchy warmth. I clench my fists at my sides and bite my lip, an anxious surety of his next words settling in my stomach. He’s been glancing at me more and more while we work through our experiments, intentionally brushing his hand against mine and smiling at me from across the dining hall.
Apprehension sits heavily in my stomach and I glance around the hallway, searching faces to see if anyone is watching us. When I don’t see any students paying attention to us, I turn my attention back to Kyle, who’s worrying his bottom lip and scratching the back of his head.
“I’ve loved being your lab partner these past few months,” Kyle says, dipping his head, his golden-brown curls tumbling over his forehead. I have to tip my head up to meet his eyes, and I feel like I should bring my hand to my brow like I’m gazing up at the sky. “I wanted to know if you’re interested in going on a date with me?”
My stomach clenches and colour explodes in my head with something like a mix of wariness and happiness. Kyle’s eyes are still and calm as they search my face, and I want to answer in a way that makes him smile again.
Before I can respond, someone slips between Kyle and me. I recognize his cologne first, and when I realize it’s my brother, I take an instinctive step back.
“Jakob,” I say, trying to step to the side and meet Kyle’s eyes again. “Excuse you, we were having a conversation.”
But Jakob doesn’t look at me, and neither does Kyle. They’re staring at one another, something unspoken between them I can’t read filling the space in the alcove.
“Excuse me,” Jakob says, his voice cold and flat. Though I’m standing behind him I can feel his flinty brown eyes on Kyle, on me. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m asking Giselle out,” Kyle says without hesitation, not realizing that’s the worst possible thing he could say. I put my sweating palm against the cool stone beside me, hoping it will ground me and help me determine what to do.
Jakob laughs, the sound almost shrill and piercing. Kyle visibly winces at the sound, and Jakob leans forward, whispering something to Kyle that I can’t hear.
“Jakob!” I protest again, trying to push around him and wedge myself between the two boys. It’s no use, as Jakob’s back seems to take up the whole space in the alcove. When I try to move one way, he automatically shifts to keep me behind him, despite the fact that he can’t see me.
Whatever Jakob says makes Kyle stand up straighter, his clear blue eyes beginning to burn. He takes the smallest step forward and opens his mouth, taking a breath to say something and challenge Jakob. I watch the scene unfold in slow motion, knowing what’s going to happen next, remembering what happened the last time a boy tried to talk to me in the hallway.
Before I have a chance to figure out how to stop him, Jakob jolts forward. He rockets his elbow into Kyle’s face, which explodes into a bloody mess as he grunts and bends, not expecting the sudden blow. I shriek without thinking and the students milling around me stop to watch. A few of them rush forward to break up the fight, but when they see it’s Jakob doing the punching, they shrink away from the alcove where we stand.
“Jakob!” I shriek, standing on my toes to grab his shoulder and pull him back. When I do, he rolls it once and dislodges me, causing me to tumble back into the worthless teenagers behind me.
I’d been so sure I’d already seen Jakob at his angriest, but I was wrong. For a few moments, my arms and legs turn to lead as I watch him fist one hand in the crisp collar of Kyle’s school uniform and slam him against the bricks, a framed painting of the current headmaster above him bouncing once from the force of his body hitting the wall.
“Kyle!” I must shout, because nobody else in the hallway is making a noise.
Kyle’s head smacks with deadly force, leaving a nauseating halo of blood where it hit the wall. I put my hand to my mouth, trying to stem the waves of horror that roll against me as Jakob lands blow after blow on Kyle’s jaw, neck, and nose. I know I need to figure out what to do to get Kyle away, out of this alcove and to safety, but all I can think about is the sound of his skull against the brick.
Wet smacking sounds and heavy breathing fill the hallway as Jakob wails on him, coating the two of them in blood. Kyle’s unconscious, his body slouching against the wall, only held up by Jakob’s single fist in the collar of his white – and now red – shirt.
I glance down either side of the hallway, looking for an adult, for someone who can help me stop this. Along with the other students, I stare in horror as it becomes more and more clear that Jakob may kill Kyle with this assault. I take a step toward the trophy case, intending to grab the largest award and bring it down on Jakob’s head, regardless of the consequences for me.
I don’t even make it to the case because Jakob stops abruptly, uncurling his fingers from Kyle’s pressed shirt and letting him drop to the marbled floor like a loose puppet. Kyle’s head lolls forward to his chest and blood trickles from his mouth. None of the students behind me move.
Jakob steps back once, nearly bumping into me, but I move to the side at the last second. From nowhere, some boys materialize and hook their arms under Kyle’s arms, picking him up and dragging him in the direction of the nurse’s office. They pass a teacher down the hall, who looks alarmed and searches for the cause of the injuries. When his eyes settle on Jakob’s bloody uniform and murderous expression, he turns and hurries down a different hallway.
My chest heaves with the effort of breathing and my heart pounds in my ears like the sound of the ocean in a shell. At one look from Jakob, the students around us scatter, quiet as mice.
“What the hell?” I hear myself say, quietly at first. I turn to Jakob, the nausea and anger at what just happened roiling in my chest. “What the hell, Jakob?”
He tilts his head slightly, making a show of using his handkerchief to polish away the blood on one of his blazer’s bronze buttons. When he smiles and glances at me, I wish I could hit him like he hit Kyle.
“You should thank me,” he says quietly, in that dead voice of his. He takes one step forward, slowly placing one bloody palm on the crown of my head. “That scholarship piece of trash had no right talking to you.”
I yank away, the metallic stink of the blood lingering in the air over me. Jakob doesn’t lower his hand, still holding it out where it was, palm parallel to the floor, blood dripping quietly from the tip of his index finger.
“You can’t just attack every guy that talks to me, Jakob! Kyle is just a guy! He’s kind-”
Jakob’s face turns thunderous and he lowers his hand, the chilling smile slipping from his face, replaced by a murderous snarl.
“Kyle,” he says, stepping forward until I’m pressed against the wall beneath him, his hot breath fanning against my face, “is a piece of shit nobody. Having you in this family is bad enough without you running around, fucking every vagrant whore this school deigns to pity by letting in.”
My body is still, despite my wishes. In my head, I’m fighting back, shoving him away from me. The halls are empty now, but even if they were teeming with students, I’d still be alone.
“My mother picked you up out of the trash,” Jakob says, and his breath smells like the spearmint leaves he plucks from the garden at home. “But I can put you back there.”
Jakob’s eyes search my face for a long moment before he steps away and a blissful gust of cool air replaces the space where he was. Without looking back at me, he strides down the hallway, shrugging off his jacket. Surely he’s off to put on a freshly-pressed, blood-free school uniform.
I press my palms to my eyes, willing myself not to cry.
