“Are you in?”
“He’s in,” Sartorius9/11 said.
“Pussy. No he’s not he’s still loading.”
“Ask him if he got the invite.”
“He can’t answer.”
“He can message.”
“Franz you got the invite? Yeah he got it. He’s just loading.”
“He’s got a slow fucking game.”
“It’ll just be a little longer. … He can only last a little longer, ’cause he ain’t got no game!”
“Grow up. I’m sick of this shit.”
“Grow big, and tall, and … get … in … da puh. Mmm.”
I was finally in. I ran across the street and punched a lady and let her run away. Donkey was coming to pick me up. I got in my car and started driving.
“No no Franz just stay there—okay? Actually no—I’ll meet you at the beach. You know where the beach is, like how to get there? Okay—yeah I know he knows—I’ll meet you there in the chopper.”
“Pick me up first Donk.”
“You’re all the way out in Sandy Shores.”
“Pick me up.”
“You just bout to Allahu Akbar us you fuckin … sandy motherfucker.”
“Pick me up.”
“Fuckin sand people. Camel people. Camel toe. Mm. Aright I’m comin. Once we get the truck we can rob every store. It’s a route that takes you to a lot of them.”
“And let’s pick up a hooker and take her too. I want a date for tonight.”
“Yeah. Probably we can.”
“A girl with strawberry blonde hair and a nice voice. Girls with nice voices are like … meadows and sapphires and Pachelbel. You got that fifty-cal-mounted truck?”
“I got a fifty-cal and you know I mount! Mmm! Bad bitches.”
I drove out and away and got real speed; then turned and made for the beach. I was pretty far away. I ended up on the freeway going against traffic which got denser and I crashed into a truck and it went over me and flipped, but my ride was okay. I kept going, and sped and lost control, and went flying off the freeway and rolled; my car eventually landed on its wheels. I got back to driving. I thought I knew a shortcut and sped off for that. The cops raced by after some NPC criminal and I slowed down. Once they passed I went fast again and smashed into a building and my car was nearly totaled.
“Aright 9/11 I’m almost there. Don’t get the cops on you.”
“Too late.”
“Aright … Okay go to the hills and I’ll pick you up; don’t get three stars or it’s gonna be hard to lose them.”
“I just died.”
I carjacked a truck from a guy who tried to fight me and began again toward the beach. I was speeding and a woman talking on the phone crossed the street and I ran her over. Then I was downtown and there were crowds of people everywhere and I was going too fast and skidded and mowed down a group with my truck. Got the cops on me.
“Aright 9/11 go to the airfield. I’ll be there.”
“I don’t have a ride.”
“Carjack then—but don’t get the cops on you.”
I crashed and jumped out and started running. The cops showed up and I pulled a shotty and killed one. Now I had three stars. I ran and tried to carjack but I missed and there were cops everywhere and they killed me.
“Donk I got the cops on me.”
“For real? Quit with that, Sartorius.”
“Yeah it couldn’t be helped. Some bitch cussed at me.”
“Well try to lose them then. Go to the hills.”
“Roger.”
I respawned and carjacked and headed over to the beach. I got there and waited around, ran one way, then another. There were girls in bikinis and bodybuilders.
“Okay okay come on quick get in.”
“Whew.”
“You have three stars?”
“I always felt like one was a lonely number.”
“Fuck, okay …”
I rag dolled into a bodybuilder. He got up and punched me. I punched him back. He punched me. I got out a baseball bat and whacked him in the head. He went down. I got a star and started running.
“Okay Franz we’re coming to you. Be ready to get in fast.”
“This is no joke, Red.”
“He knows. He takes this stuff seriously. Franz is a psycho-type whiteboy.” Donkey explained. “You know how some white boys just really don’t care about anybody?—he’s like that.”
I carjacked and sped away from the beach. The cops wouldn’t be hard to lose.
“No Franz what’re you doing stay at the beach! Stay at the beach, Franz!”
“He has the cops on him.”
“Okay we’re coming to pick you up, try not to get three stars.”
I was speeding and I lost my star. There was a group of people all together on the sidewalk and it was probably too late to stop so I ran them over. Got a star again.
I checked my map and Donkey and 9/11 were almost here. I climbed into someone’s backyard and began running as the cops got nearer. I tried to jump a fence but missed and fell down and rag dolled around. I climbed back on the fence.
“Okay Franz we see you I’m comin down, comin down …”
The chopper lowered and knocked me off the fence and RedRipley rolled around pathetically trying to get to his feet. I got up and the cops were right there and I was being shot but not yet dead and Donkey had three or four stars also and they went up then lowered and I jumped and triangle and I was in.
“My nigga!” Donkey yelled and we cheered. I forgot I’d muted myself.
We began heading toward Vinewood, and the police choppers dragged behind us and then it was just the one I was in.
“Nuikka.” Donkey said in the silence.
“How do I use the gun?” Sartorius asked.
“It’s easy if you want to use the minigun you just double-tap triangle.”
I double-tapped triangle and my character bailed out midair and suddenly I was falling. I landed on the ground and died.
They were frustrated but laughing at the same time.
“Franz I was kidding! Now we have to pick you up again. Okay don’t get the cops on you.”
