Chapter 1
How did it get to this point? How did I loose it all? Asks every man who lived with pride but finally crumbled at the face of defeat. You may call it shaken pride because life actually doesn’t let a man live and die in good conditions so what good is pride? I too was born with the very purpose of living and maybe making a change. Eyes filled with so much love and excitement that many times as a child I thought I could fly, I could run at the speed of light and I could be the king of the world. Why is it that now at this age I’m just trying to look for those innocent clear eyes in mirrors? The kid who thought nothing is impossible now as a man finds it hard to attain the smallest of things that would make him happy and feel content. Lost in the journey and divided between people here I am collecting what’s left of me. Here I am portraying what lead to my birth as a storyteller. I was born in 1986 to parents from different places, different cultures, different statuses and different worlds. Got so much love from them but human beings are never without mistakes and certainly not my parents but I would never want to change anything. I believe everyone might have heard the term “ Under extreme pressure even a rock turns in to a diamond” but how many times have we turned in to ugly monsters under pressure? How many times have we said things we wished to take back and how many poor souls lost because they couldn’t handle pressure? My parents separated when I was barely a teenager and at that ripe age I had to leave with my mother because of the attachment I had to her ( how ironic now I barely spend quality time with her). My mother shifted to a place that was lower in standards by all means of life compared to the life I had with my father but I was still at an age where I had innocence in my eyes and the will to search for happiness. Just like everything does that innocent part of my life gradually proceeded to end. The world I was taken to and society which I was made to live in were exactly the reason people would move out from their country to give their children a better life. Till this date I’m stuck between success and failure because the life I witnessed was such that one wouldn’t even know what’s going to happen the next day let alone plan a whole future. We barely knew social media or even had proper access to internet hence our entertainment was the streets. The streets that forgave no one and cared about no one. I never thought family members would at times be enemies but I was well educated about that with the time I spent with my mothers family. Friends became my family as I didn’t enjoy family feuds and hatred on the contrary I couldn’t even understand how siblings would hate each other to the worst extent. My personality was fully shaped in a place where education wasn’t a necessity instead chaos was. I witnessed hunger so many times that now I’m willing to share my food whether much or less with anyone hungry. I faced betrayal countless times that I started believing people never stay for too long. Soon when my mother started feeling things were getting out of her hands she wanted to get rid of me by sending me to my father. I couldn’t blame her for the restlessness I gave her and for her late realization that I should be away from the world she took me in to. Soon I was back to the world I knew as a child that I had left behind and forgot about. From a well populated place to a place so empty that I would go on walks in the night wondering how long would it take me to get used to it. It was in this empty place I first witnessed love, heartbreak and defeat. I was In a place where friends aren’t family but families are. Most of the times I was confused as to how should I handle things in a manner that was accepted by the different society I was brought in to. How can I be normal? How can I be like normal people who cherish family? How do I give them time when I grew up knowing that friends are worth dying for and families are mere companions who exist just for the sake of not being called an orphan. I lived a troublesome teenage life and I can’t deny that I deeply troubled a lot of people towards whom I didn’t hold any grudges but I was unaware of the harm I was causing because of my childhood traumas. I wish they forgive me so if not in life one could find peace after it. There is so much more to tell but let’s keep it for another day.
