Chapter 1
I talked to her today, like I do everyday. I was sitting at my desk, with a book open in front of me. I hear the door open and quickly glance and look back to my book, but my eyes go back for seconds when I realise I had seen her walking through the door. Crystal blue eyes, long brown hair tied up into a ponytail, a glowing smile on her face, just perfect from head to toe.
I tried to continue reading my book, like I had never seen her, but it was impossible. The only thing my brain could register was her footsteps, getting closer and closer, until they stopped right in front of me. I look up and see she’s patiently waiting for me to notice her. I put my book away and we start talking, like we always do. She talked about how her brother had gotten told off by her parents, how she went shopping last night and bought a lot of brand new stuff, how many guys had hit on her since the last time we talked. Usual stuff we would talk about.
While we were talking, a certain subject came up. It was about a man. A man she had caught feelings for. A man she apparently knew was only with her for her body. A man that didn’t deserve her. She said she’s fine with the fact that he just wants her body. But I’m not. I deserve her. He doesn’t. Your body should only belong to someone who loves you. Not to someone who loves just your body. I pretend like I’m happy for her. But how can I be? She’s with a man who doesn’t love her. While I sit here and suffer. Knowing that the man she’s talking about should be me. She tells me his name. Derrick Handsen. He sounds like a dick. She says she’ll try and get a photo of him to show me. Great, a name to a face. She points out the anger in my face and I tell her it's nothing to worry about. Not for now anyway.
The school day goes by as normal, while I think of all the things I can do to take back what's mine. I have a few ideas, none have really sparked my interests all that much though. I’ve thought through all the ‘normal’ stuff. Like trying to make her jealous, trying to make her leave him for me by flirting with her and such. But those kinds of things aren’t the only way to go about this. I mean, a bit of blood never killed anyone. Or, maybe I will, who knows. But those are the kind of thoughts that make not only a spark, but a full on fire. Luckily I have a lot of self-control, so the fire doesn't get too big. Maybe I should try and stay away from things like that. Or maybe that’s the perfect course of action. Or, perhaps it’s as simple as just waiting until the right moment to sweep her off her feet. Yeah, maybe that’s it.
I meet up with her outside the school gates and we start to walk home while talking. We live in the same direction so we always end up walking together. She doesn’t bring him up in the conversation at all, but that doesn’t stop me from getting jealous about it. The fact that they're together. I start to see red. I imagine stabbing a knife through their chest and the blood spilling everywhere. Over my hands. Over the knife. Over the floor. Over their body. Over my body.
I am again reminded about the fact I look angry. If only she could imagine the things that are going on in my head. The wildfire spreading rapidly, ready to burn everything down once given the chance. Only being held back by my love to keep her happy. My self-control.
