Happiness a rare dream.
Life was a fairy tale and happiness used to surround in every dust, den , garbage or the garden. Dilapidated of my previous breakup sequence and lost dreams. All into myself, reading and exploring mountains. I was living all alone here at Jammu near by her window. All that life delivered was happiness, and nothing beyond that , no accountability, no dependence, nothing just happiness.
Ah! my bad luck, then i met a person who seemed to be a heaven and a sight of relief to my craving soul, ah i wish we can predict future, she seemed a shade to my shabby mind.
Time went on talking, meeting and exploring and one day my heart was convinced of her being a cherish full future, in my imaginations.
Well to her life was all about ,
Her dog ,
Her friend’s (responsibility)
Her philosophy of independent women
A whistle blower, for not letting the society to discriminate between men and the women, this she wanted so badly, if it was in her hands she will have allowed men to deliver, ah she was so annoyed with this lasting process.
My heart was annoyed with its previous havoc and it empowered my mind, not thinking of any impact we went along, on the rocks, in the paper. Everything seemed so normal to my platters, and that made her lose her will of submission. I was in a dilemma of her concept of love, I thought she was in love but time narrated her intentions, all what matters to her was me as an acceptance medium. I was existing nowhere.
Hello, Mr. Shahid, this is anxiety and depression here back on your door, i have been missing you throughout.
Let’s continue again, with a complimentary gift of overthinking, and back on medication. Sleep became a rare dream, no more 11:00 P.M sleep, and 6:00 A.M wake up. No reading of books, every night passed with toxic fights, shouting and screaming.
I started getting used of her taunts as she wanted no change in her behaviour, priorities and philosophy. I started losing every sight to her and being possessive started haunting me every single minute. Every outing turned into a war zone, her mind was not able to process my change as if i have caged her like a criminal in the jail.
We did got hitched with a beautiful engagement ring, i was not knowing this was the last happy day of my love. It was 26, December 2021, going forward with an independent women was not easy , her dog was more important than me, her friend a sister ti her sounds her responsibility like a mother and a father, her friends as commitment and her behaviour as a question of being consistent. I found a place not more than 5% as a lousy beloved husband. I had to be a responsible husband, to whom independence was narrated every single time. We turned definition of toxic from definition of love.
