Chapter 1
Astoria
The howls are getting louder and more frequent. They’re celebratory, even with the ever-present apprehension in the air.
Despite the king’s death and the potential for war looming, today’s focal point is the ascension of the new king. His son, who will take the crown bravely despite the suspicion that his father was poisoned.
The air is filled with colored smoke. Greens, blues and reds mixing in some places to form a brilliant purple.
Each pack is congregated in a different area of the field, playing their own variation of ceremonial music. Some are sweet, light tunes, while others boom joy.
I glance at my family, all looking slightly out of place and more nervous than the rest of the werewolves they’re surrounded by.
“I heard he has the dreamiest eyes,” Fior, my stepsister, gushes beside me.
We’re in Crescent Valley for the Crescent Bloom festival, where the new Alpha King will soon be crowned.
“Oh, please,” scoffs her twin brother, Leon. “He’s a douchebag; I heard he makes everyone call him ‘King Lucas Grant’, and he hasn’t even been crowned yet.”
“I heard Lightseekers and Keenhunters both respect him,” I add diplomatically.
“And Goddess knows we don’t agree on much,” Alphonse, my stepfather nods half-jokingly.
As the Keenhunter Beta, he knows what he’s talking about.
“I don’t care about anything but his dreamy eyes,” Fior swoons.
I’m amused but try not to show it–poor Fior has just entered her tween years and I know what that’s like.
Even now, at a ripe eighteen years old, I can still spend a whole afternoon daydreaming about being swept off my feet by the love of my life. Over and over I asked the question: If I ever got to meet my mate, what would he be like?
And, every now and then, I get caught up in what sex will be like with someone that adores me. It’s definitely distracting.
“Are you okay, Mom?” I ask.
Bianca looks up at the question. Her eyes are as blank and unfocused as usual, but there’s a smile on her lips.
“We’re happy to be out and about,” Alphonse says firmly.
Alpha Fremont, leader of Keenhunter, didn’t want Bianca to come tonight, but Alphonse had insisted. It made me wonder whether I’ll ever have someone who cares for me like that.
“She must just be happy to be out of Keenhunter for the first time in so many years,” Fior notes.
True, but…
“It’s not exactly like we’re on the friendliest of turfs, either,” I note, looking around at all the frosty Lightseeker faces.
“Don’t worry, Astoria,” Leon assures me, “I got you.”
I smile like this has allayed my fears, though I can see someone even now crossing their eyes at me, an attempt to rile me into defending my mentally afflicted mother.
I adjust my eyes.
Whether sensing my apprehension or simply knowing what’s on my mind, Fior gives my hand a quick squeeze. “It doesn’t even matter, Astoria. You’ll meet your mate tonight and everything will change.”
I try not to feel too much joy at the words that, deep down, reflect my deepest hopes. All the packs are gathered in one place for the coronation–it has to be tonight. I will lay eyes on the man who will take me away from all the torment I’ve suffered my whole life.
“As long as I don’t run into Cade.”
In an effort to quell the tide of hatred in high school, I stupidly dated the Alpha’s son, Cade Fremont. I thought it would make all the bullies leave me alone once and for all, and at first he seemed so nice and easygoing.
But as much as I was curious about sex, I realized quickly that I didn’t want to have it with him, especially with the way he’d pressured me. He said the nastiest things, showing what he really thought of me. So, I broke up with him.
“Or any of Cade’s groupies,” Leon agrees.
It’s true. The bullying had become even worse after that. Cade spread horrible rumors about me that seemed to eclipse the disgust that I have no rank in the pack, no real father and that my wolf has a strange scent no one can quite place.
The music stops. For a second you can hear a pin drop. Then whispers start spreading.
It’s time.
An old wolf from the Lightseeker pack steps onto the platform up front.
“We are gathered to crown a new king for the first time in 84 years. Can we have a moment of silence for King Conri Grant.”
There’s silence again, this time heavier.
Even those who didn’t adore the king were shaken by his death.
The Lightseeker speaks again. “And now, applause for our new king, King Lucas Grant!”
The clapping that breaks out is deafening, howling, joining in. The energy is infectious.
I find myself applauding as well.
The music resumes and some wolves jump up to dance, kids run to the front, cheering the chorus, “King! King! King!”
Finally he appears, holding up a hand as though to stop the applause. But it’s unwavering and his grateful smile is wide, showing off pearly white teeth.
“He’s so handsome!” gasps Fior.
I agree with her.
He’s tall, shoulders broad, and walks like his every step can change the world. His short dark brown hair is the same color as his eyes which are, in fact, very dreamy. His honey-tanned arms strain against his crispy white shirt .
He seems slightly uncomfortable in the suit, but he looks like he’s just come off the cover of a magazine.
As I watch him, a strange feeling darts through my body, starting out cold, then warming near my middle. It’s like it ebbs from the center of my body, then coils down and flickers.
It takes a second for me to realize what it means. The new Alpha King is my mate.
My heart beats wildly and I try to calm it down.
I try to focus on the way he moves, slow and self-assured. There’s an easy smile at his lips that’s nothing like Cade’s facade of kindness had once been. There’s an adoration in his eyes as he gazes out over all the werewolves.
I don’t hear a word of the speech he’s making, though, too focused on the moment his eyes will land on mine. When he sees me and realizes he, too, has found his mate. I’m right here. But it never comes.
Each time it seems like they might, his glance seems to skip over me.
He knows. Surely, he must already know. It’s too deliberate the way he seems to look at everyone but me.
It makes my heart quicken all over again.
But I force myself to be patient, force myself not to say or do anything that will give away what I know. Even though it feels like someone has fired a flare gun inside my body.
The Alpha King is my mate. I repeat this over and over in my head to help pass the time, as well as to help it sink in.
Eventually the ceremony finds a lull and I spot him finally alone. Despite my heart beating violently in my chest, I make my way over.
“Hi,” I start, instantly doubting a move this bold.
And, oh no, he’s even better looking up close.
But there’s confusion in his eyes. “Hello.”
“I just wanted to introduce myself.” My throat goes dry as a desert.
Never in my wildest fantasies–and they do get pretty wild–did I ever imagine meeting my mate to be so… awkward.
“Well, go ahead, then,” he gestures with a testy hand.
Oh, right.
“I’m Astoria Noelle, from the Keenhunter pack.”
“Yes,” he scoffs. “I’ve heard of you. And I’ll give you credit for your impertinence.”
“My impertinence?”
He nods like his reasoning should be obvious.
“Someone of your station daring to speak to the Alpha King.”
No, no.
“My station?” I repeat.
It’s like all I can do is parrot his words back at him, unable to process what’s happening.
This was supposed to change everything.
“Did you really think I’d want to consort with a half-human who’s slept with half of New Eden?”
My mouth opens and closes uselessly.
He’s heard all the lies and, worse, he believes them.
I blink hard, wishing simultaneously that he won’t see my tears and that he’ll stop speaking, stop the humiliation. But he doesn’t.
“You’d bring dishonor to my reputation before I’d even properly taken the throne,” he spits. “Don’t you dare ever utter the word ‘mate’ in the same sentence as my name or I will see to it that those are your last words.”
And then he’s gone before the threat has properly settled on the tears, now rolling freely down my cheeks. They fill up my vision, blinding me for long enough to miss the signs that I’m being surrounded.
It’s only when I see his signature flicked jet black hair that I wipe my eyes to see Cade Fremont approaching me with Jenna, his new girlfriend, in tow.
“Wow, that was pathetic,” she notes. “Did you really just try to seduce the king?”
Cade guffaws. “A whore-wolf’s gotta whore-wolf!”
He’s drunk, I can tell. And if normal Cade is cruel, drunk, Cade is pure evil.
My siblings are suddenly at my side-they must’ve seen a commotion beginning and, knowing it’s usually about me, have come to intervene.
“Leave her alone, you asshole!” Leon yells.
His chest is out and his head is held high, despite Cade being twice his size and several years older than him.
“What are you gonna do about it, huh? Call your mommy?” he taunts. “Oh, that’s right, she hated you so much that she died just so she wouldn’t have to spend a second with you!”
I watch Fior’s face crumple at the horrifying twist on their mother’s tragic death. Leon’s claws come out and he jumps at Cade, who kicks him down without much effort.
“This is your cavalry, runt?” he asks me.
Putting myself in front of them, I tell Fior to go before facing Cade.
“Please, this has nothing to do with them.”
“Maybe you should learn to fight your own battles, then,” Jenna says. “I thought you trained with Gammas? Let’s see it, then.”
She holds out a hand, waiting, but all I can focus on is getting Fior and Leon out of here. He’s arguing with Fior, trying to stay, even as she pushes him out of the circle surrounding me.
It’s when I see them safely out that a glob of saliva lands on my cheek.
It’s Jenna’s spit and everyone starts cheering around me, shoving at me with insults like “Bastard” or “Whore-storia” that I’ve heard a thousand times before. Only they hurt so much more now.
Now that I know my mate thinks the same of me.
Cade reaches for me, ripping my dress. I’m trying so hard to prevent him from tearing it further–humiliating me completely-that I don’t even notice paint until it’s on me, dripping red. I stare at Jenna in horror as she paints it on.
The paint was supposed to be for celebration, we had brought some too. The sign of a new time ushered in by a new leader.
“What are you doing?” I shout desperately.
“Now you’ll look like the whore-wolf you are!” she grins.
I’m still in disbelief, paralyzed, when she starts passing it around. A tall guy takes it and I know, instantly, that he’s going to tip it out onto me. And, finally, it’s enough.
My Gamma training kicks in and I dart away expertly before calculating the best exit point and shoving with all of my might. I push and scratch until I’m all the way out then run, bawling, until I’m at the edge of the ceremonial grounds.
They’re still laughing and I’m not sure if it’s really happening or just still ringing in my head.
I can’t stay here. I hate them all. I’ll never be one of them.
No one will save me from the life I’ve been destined to lead since I was born with no rank, father or mother to defend me.
No mate.
It pierces my heart anew as I think about the disgust in his eyes when he’d looked at me, when he’d threatened to kill me.
It instantly made me feel like I should retreat to the shadows, where I belong. Never to tell anyone who I really am. And that’s what I want to do now, too. Disappear with no trace.
For a second I worry about my family. But I’m a liability, something to be ashamed of. I won’t drag their reputation down any further. My siblings will be safe, and I know Alphonse will take care of my mother.
I don’t let myself give it another thought, taking off into the dark woods.
In minutes, the sound from the festivities is drowned out by the silence of the woods. And I can’t help it-I glance back, where the lights glitter and the howling continues. In celebration of a cruel king.
Then I look down at myself, covered in red paint and humiliation.
What will I do now? Where can I go? Who can want me when my own mate doesn’t?
Darkness seems to shroud my mind like a heavy cloud.
It takes a few seconds but then, finally, I feel clarity. I know exactly where I’ll go.
