Chapter 1
There is a certain freedom inherent in those who have nothing. Or maybe more accurately, those who believe that they have nothing. It is a reckless and dangerous feeling, to think that you have nothing to lose, and to think that what little you do have is worth losing. Sometimes it shows on a person. In the way they walk, the way they let their cigarette smoke circle lazily above them. In the way they hold their hand, hovering over the butt of their pistol. Constant in their carelessness, but also somehow entirely constant in their need to do something. To be somewhere. An outlaw always needs to be somewhere. Even if somewhere is really just a code word for anywhere but where they are. A moving force meeting an immovable object. The fear of nothing but death, and everything to gain from life. A romantic notion.
Suppose I didn’t refer to them as outlaws (although I would not know what else to call them), the essence of the person would not change either way. An outlaw is a person who moves in opposition. Who evades and escapes, and attacks when they have had enough. You need sharp claws, and a sharper wit, and just a bit of blood on your hands. It also helps quite a bit if you know how to shoot a gun and hold down your liquor.
When Levi started out in the business of being a criminal he didn’t know how to do anything besides frustrate the people around him to what seemed like no end. He didn’t do it on purpose. He was what many would call a loner, and what more observant people would call utterly alone. He was a brick dropped into a lake and expected to float. It just wasn’t going to work. So at the age of fourteen Levi named himself after a pair of jeans and gave up on the world.
He quickly discovered that giving up on the world was a lot harder and a lot more complicated than he had initially thought. For one thing it involved being hungry. Constantly hungry. The sort of hunger that settled in for the long haul. A hunger that you could almost forget was constant until you ate again, and then you felt it would be impossible to stop. It was a regular hunger.
The first horse he stole was black as coal, it was short, because Levi was short. It had a temper, because Levi had a temper. He had been eyeing it for days before he finally decided to take it for himself. Loitering outside of the General Store, watching the shopkeeper tie his horse out back every morning. One day the horse kicked and sent the General Store owner flying into the mud of the street. It didn't bother Levi to see him like that. His normally pristine waistcoat smeared with horseshit. It brought back memories of the man refusing to sell his sister food, at the end of her illness, when her coughs were obvious, when their money was low. In the end the white death got her. It hadn't taken the store owner yet. Life was not fair, if God existed he was not on Levi's side. He had resigned himself to that fact a long time ago. If he wanted life to be fair, he had to make it fair. So he waited until the horse was hitched outside, and then he swung one leg over the saddle, grabbed the reigns, and with a soft click of his tongue he was off. He named the horse Justice.
He rode on through town after town. He had seen many drifters in his life, the men would roll into town sometimes deep in the cover of darkness. Dusty jackets and dirty sunburnt faces were their staples. They would drink themselves to sleep. Sometimes not even managing to collapse in the grass when they finally passed out. Levi got used to running in between the sleeping men in the muddy street early in the morning. Cringing as the horses of the men going to work in the mines just missed crushing their hands or heads. He had a fixed interest on these men. The way their square backs looked riding into the rising sun. The way they made quiet hushing noises to their horses where they thought nobody could hear them. Their guns, which often shone brighter than anything else they owned. Polished and well-used. Sometimes they had notches in their barrels. One night when the shouts from the Saloon were keeping Levi awake he asked his sister what the notches meant. She told him to go to sleep. It wasn't until years later when Levi learned what they represented.
His own gun had no notches in it. He used all of the money he had inherited on his sisters death and bought the new Colt Action Revolver. He stuffed it in his belt and covered it in a long black jacket he had stolen. He was baby faced, and he knew how he looked to everyone who stared at him as he passed by. They did not give him the looks that he was used to seeing cowboys and drifters get. Nobody was scared of him. No, they were confused by him. They didn't understand him. But his clothes were dirty enough, and his hair was short, and his coat covered the curves that made him bathe with his eyes closed. He was believable enough. But he looked 12 at the age of 15 and he looked 15 at 18. It was this that was the reason he was stopped after only five days of riding. He rode into the town of West Anne in the evening. The sign telling him the name of the ranching town was made of wood and faded with the sun and wind. Justice's ear's twitched and she whinnied when she saw the figures smoking lazily outside the saloon to his right. Levi looked straight ahead and nudged her flank with his boot.
"Where're you going son." The voice was low, and there was a slight growl to it. It reminded him of the noise the stray dogs his sister used to tell him not to pet made when he came too close.
Levi ignored the man.
"I said where're you going." He was louder this time, and Levi looked over to see a man with a sneer that brandished his gold teeth. Fingers holding a cigarette, they were stained yellow with tobacco.
"You better not be looking for work. We don't hire freaks in this town."
Levi paused. Pulled back on the reigns in his hands. He felt the press of the revolver against his warm skin.
"You're in luck sir, I'm not looking for work."
"What are you looking for then? This ain't a place without law."
The insinuation was clear. If you're not looking for work, you're looking for something to steal, so leave. This was fine with Levi. He didn't steal from ordinary people. He didn't think that was fair. But he did steal from assholes. He also hadn't planned to stay in West Anne. He didn't like to sleep around people. It was too noisy.
"Maybe I'm not sure what I am looking for."
The man laughed from where he stood. Forearms resting on the wooden railing in front of him, smoke blocking his face from view.
"How old are you anyways?"
"17." He deepened his voice as low as it could go, and he pulled the cloth of his jacket over his chest.
"Huh. I ain't ever seen a seventeen year old as pretty as you. I bet I know a good way a thing like you could make money."
The door to the saloon cracked open and another man peeked his head out.
"Come on John who're you talking to, we never finished our poker game." This second man seemed to notice Levi sitting still in the middle of the street. "She new? I've never seen a woman ride a horse like that. The hell is happening in this town."
"Oh come on Rod, that's not a woman. That's just a pretty boy. Isn't that right darling?" The man named John smiled. His golden teeth on fire with lantern light.
It was getting darker as they spoke. The sun disappearing beyond the rolling hills of the plains in the distance. Levi felt himself stiffen. He was a rabbit trying in vain to hide itself from a predator. A predator who already knew where it was, and who already knew he was dead. His body was a betrayal worse than Brutus killing Ceaser. His pants all of a sudden were too tight. His boots too big. His tiny hands against the horn of his saddle looked as though they were made specially to sew the garments of children. He chew the inside of his cheek and the taste of blood comforted him slightly.
"Hey tell you what, why don't you come inside for a game of cards with us?" Playfully the two men nudged each other as if their joke was private. As if it wasn't made in Levi's expense.
"I won't be doing that."
"Okay well I guess we will have to go get the sheriff then and tell them about that stolen horse of yours."
Levi couldn't keep his shock from showing on his face.
"Lucky guess wasn't it?"
He swung on leg over Justice and stepped off. He gave her a pat and tied her to a post. Then he walked inside the saloon.
