Made in the USA
I thought I already stopped believing in the concept of constant. I built such colossal walls that were vast to surround myself with the false security that I craved and to keep another form of both distraction and destruction at bay. I made that decision because what would be left of me if I allow another yearning get the better of me? That was before I met you, long before we built the universe of us.
We met at the most unforeseen juncture. It was not as magical as the stories I read about, it was actually a happy accident. It was enough to convince me that it was fate that brought you here. Whenever I look back at it now, I can’t help but laugh and think how far we’ve come from all those affable exchanges of discussion that turned into a debate, and all the lectures you could possibly elaborate on.
We would talk for hours before you fall asleep at night, and when I woke up in the morning. We would talk about almost anything and everything. I love it when you tell me about your day, how it went, and all the things in between. I love hearing your rants and all the ideas going on in your head. Maybe I just like watching you talk, and wonder what would it be like to be inside your mind, and what will it take for you to think about me.
I once saw a vulnerable part of you, and it sent an uneasy feeling inside of me. I remember that day, I told you that you can do better, and I believe that you are doing something great for yourself. I also told you that one day, someone would meet you at your best and stay with you even at your worst. I doubt you heard what I said, you were busy wallowing in your own dilemma. Looking back at it now, it turns out that I was directly walking inside a book that will encompass our journey together.
The story of us began long before we even knew it as if the fates made the thread that will make our lives intertwined, and they just kept spinning, entangling every strand, making us grow closer each day, until such time that we did not leave what we built. I had my doubts in the beginning because I have to hold on to the fortress that I imprisoned myself in, but instead of giving up, you just melted those fears away, simply by merely existing. I realized that it was the kind of love I always prayed to have, one I only read about and dream of. It’s a relationship built on trust, friendship, and respect.
I know it wasn’t going to be easy, and that there will be perilous times that lie ahead in the path that we are paving. We made mistakes, and we’re going to make a whole lot of them as we move forward. We had arguments, and it was the first time in my life that someone actually wanted to fix the problem and not run away from it. I was so used to being ignored when I’m upset, but with you, it’s different. You always communicate and I realized that it was something I need to work on. Please be patient with me my love, I’m still trying.
The stakes may be high and sometimes we might be at our lowest, but I most definitely want you to know that being with you is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. You showed me how it feels like to be loved and accepted for who you truly are (mean, stubborn, and have a whole lot of attitude). I know we still have a long way to go and that we may hit a few hard rocks on the way, but I still believe that we can make this last and that we can meet at the end to have a new beginning.
I’d still do all the things I did and make the same mistakes I made, I’d do it a thousand times over if it means I’d get to meet you in this lifetime. You are the best part of me, my best friend, my lover, and the greatest person I ever had, the one I’ve been praying for. If there is some kind of whimsical fantasy land in a parallel universe next to ours, I’m pretty certain that the “me” in there would still choose your sarcasm and wit over anything else. My heart goes with you, as well as all the always and forever that this life has to offer. I love you so much, and I’ll keep on choosing you, in this life, or the next.
Love
