Wishing It Was Just Us
Sometimes it’s easy to forget how small we are. We…human beings…have this infallible notion that we are superior creatures; mighty beings that roam the earth ruling with intellect and power. We were lying to ourselves and we never stopped. We are truly small. Smaller than the trees that stretched out for miles in front of me. Smaller than all the animals that walk the earth or swim within its waters. Our physical size, our mind with its capacity to reason and switch off primal instincts, or our technology does not make us superior; even amongst each other. It made us equals; everything that we thought made us superior actually leveled the playing field, which had favored the other side for millennia. We are all creatures of one planet, doing our best to survive and giving back-
“What are you thinking about over there, hmm?” Elliot questioned as he reached over and placed his hand on my thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.
Leaning back in my seat, I welcomed his touch and turned my eyes to the road ahead. Twenty miles to go.
“About how small we are.”
He chuckled, “In what context?”
“Oh, just in general. Everyone has this notion of being superior when in fact everyone is small. No one and nothing is above another.”
No one. When will people begin to understand? I’m twenty-seven years old and I understand this!
“Hey, look at me,” Elliot said calmly, “Look at me.”
It was only when I looked at him, did he take his eyes off the road, for a second.
“It’s going to be okay, love.”
Behind his misty gray eyes, I saw no hint of worry or concern. He truly believed in the words he spoke. As did I.
Slowly inhaling, I sighed, “It’s going to be okay.”
For the next twenty miles, I tried to keep my current frame of mind. I thought car karaoke might help.
There I was belting "All I need" by Within Temptation at the top of my lungs, but it did not go as planned.
“Although I do love this song, don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t exactly lighten the mood.”
Yeah, all the songs I was belting out were sad songs. They were the only songs being played on the radio, but I failed to notice.
“Oh god,” I laughed. In a matter of moments, the dam burst, and we couldn’t stop laughing. Laughing at the fact that I was singing sad songs to lighten the mood for ten minutes. Laughing at the fact that Elliot actually liked all the songs. He was like that parent who didn’t like his children’s shows at first, but then months later could describe every character and sing every song.
I didn’t know how long we were laughing, but it ended as soon as we arrived.
“We’re here.”
Here? Here we were parked outside of Fairytale Manor, situated on a three-hundred-acre estate. On this estate was the main house, Fairytale manor; twelve smaller two-story houses; a stable for six horses; a greenhouse; a vegetable and fruit garden; an outdoor jungle gym for kids; and three open fields for multipurpose use. Often lodgers set up equipment in the field to play kickball, flag football, baseball or to even host outdoor dinners and gatherings. The remaining area was dense terrain that allowed some to hike, four-wheel, or dirt bike quite a distance.
Seeing as the estate was well enclosed and backed onto a thirty-foot waterfall, the property was very secluded. It was perfect for family gatherings and awarded travelers a lot of safety.
Stepping out of the car, I asked, “Do you think anyone else is here?”
“Not yet, but they shouldn’t be too far behind.”
I couldn’t help but stare at the vast land in front of me. It was beautiful. Something out of a fairy tale.
Lost in my own world, I almost failed to notice Elliot holding the front door open, waiting for me to enter.
“Ooh sorry,” I chuckled as I ran to the door. He couldn’t help but smirk and shake his head at my behavior.
Now when I say the land didn’t hold a candle to the inside of the manor, I was not lying. Have you ever seen A Princess for Christmas? Don’t get me wrong, I know they lived in a castle, but this felt and looked exactly the same. Just smaller.
“Should we start assigning everyone their rooms? I was thinking our immediate family: our parents and siblings would stay with us in the main house and we can divide everyone else up amongst the rest of the houses on the property.”
It was as if the words flowed right out of my mouth, but I hadn’t spoke.
“Are you reading my mind right now?!” I gasped jokingly.
“As long as we’ve been together, I think I can claim that power. Elliot Di Cristo,” he bowed, “Telepath at your service.”
Ladies and gentlemen, Elliot Di Cristo. The man who had stolen my heart and entertained me endlessly with his theatrics.
Playing along, I curtsied. “Well noble sir, I am in dire need of one of such capabilities. Tell me, what do I desire?”
He placed his hand on his chin and began to ponder.
“Oh, maybe how you would rather cancel this whole thing and-” he rushed toward me. All I could do was run, but I didn’t make it too far. His strong arms grabbed me by my waist, spun me around, and pulled me close to his chest. “-go somewhere where it’s just us and maybe even our parents and siblings. No one else.”
Although he was speaking directly above my head, all I could think about was how good he smelled. With each whiff, I melted deeper into his arms. He smelled like a warm fire, burning effortlessly in the night. It was powerful, yet not overwhelming to cower away. The smell of him bought back so many memories. Good and bad, but mostly good. He smelled like home.
“Are you sniffing me right now?”
“No,” I lied, “Maybe.”
And again, we erupted in a fitful laugh.
Everyone arrived moments after Elliot and I assigned rooms and houses. Our immediate family arrived first. Then there was a wave of grandparents, aunt, uncles, and cousins. And this was just my side. Elliot only ever had his parents: Samuele and Ida, and his siblings: Olivia and Joseph. They didn’t have any other blood relatives; the rest of their family was made up of friends acquired over the years. Where I had blood relatives that were estranged and mere acquaintances, he had friends that were truly family. And by dating Elliot, they’ve always made me feel like family.
We wanted everyone to get along, so we decided to mix everyone together. No one would have the option to constantly be around people they prefer or already knew except us. This whole trip was for me anyway, not them.
I had just passed my medical board exam and was accepted as a resident at Theodore Valois Children’s hospital. This trip was my last vacation before I became insanely busy. Initially Elliot and I planned this trip as a celebration and a chance to spend a lot of time with each other and our immediate families.
After picking out the property, he made the suggestion, “Are you going to invite your grandmothers?”
I was close to both of my grandmothers as a child, but as I got older, things changed. I’ve always clashed with my mother’s mom, but with my father’s, it was recently.
“What about your aunts and uncles?”
On which side was the true question. I don’t like my mother’s youngest brother, but I like the other. Well, I tolerate him; I like his wife more. Out of my father’s brothers, I adore Uncle Elijah, I like Uncle Benjamin and Uncle Charlie, but I attest Uncle Rick. I couldn’t really care for their wives or girlfriends. Or some of their kids.
I would love to invite Elijah, Benjamin, and Charlie, but I could not invite some, without inviting the others. That was just an unspoken rule in this family. You either invite everyone or no one. In a way, this rule allowed us to “always be a family,” but that’s only on the outside. Just because everyone was in the same room didn’t mean there wasn’t underlying tension.
“If I’m going to invite anyone, I have to invite them all,” I said as I started drawing together a list of what everyone includes. “Maybe, this trip will allow everyone to hash out their hard feelings... privately," I added, "Otherwise this will be a long month.”
And then sometimes, the tension explodes.
