Stay with me.

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

I wrote this while enduring my own mental health struggle whilst witnessing my husband struggle as well. It made me realize that I cared for him more than I do myself because I attempted to flip mine to the off position to try to mend his. I won’t say that I fully understand what you feel, just that I relate. I cannot simply summarize that. I’d never cover it all. Or fully define it properly. It put something in to perspective, I’m not the only one that hurts. There’s not only one kind of hurt. You cannot explain in depth exactly what if feels like to someone whom endures nothing alike. My point, let me say what you don’t know how. Let you leave here saying; “Damn, I felt that.” I want to be able to manipulate one’s emotions through words. If I cried while writing it, I want you to know that and cry as well, without directly saying it and it being staged. Raw. Using words as my description, I’ll describe everything in the moment. It won’t be pretty. I guarantee you that. It’s rough and dark. Why? Because, it’s real.

Status
Complete
Chapters
3
Rating
5.0 1 review
Age Rating
18+

Stay with me.

Stay With Me #1

When I say ‘Stay With Me’-

It’s not out of jealousy or mere thought of infidelity.

Of, course not.

It’s out of pure fear.

I know when it’s happening. When it’s near.

I watch the change occur.

I see the panic set in.

I see you reaching out for anything familiar.

Anything at all to cling to.

A reason;

just one word.

I’m screaming.

Silly me,

I forget you can’t hear me when the darkness has you in it’s clutches.

Nothing, satisfies the hunger to keep it at bay.

Nothing;

like you do.

I can’t even slow it.

I’m crying through gritted teeth.

My actions are null.

So, as the darkness closes in..

inching it’s way slowly; whilst crawling up your spine, and clawing it’s way into that spot it calls home inside your head;

Remember, ‘Stay With Me.’

Don’t let it ruin my favorite part of you-

You.

Don’t succumb; to thee oh so convincing antics.

The Darkness can be very persuasive.

Don’t let it take you.

It can’t have the salted caramel brown that lies in your eyes, glossy and all; when you genuinely smile. It can’t have the way your whole demeanor becomes consumed when Maria Brink serenades you. It can’t have the way you call me “Darlin’”. It can’t have the laughter that flows through you when you read a solid pun.

It can’t have what I love most about me; you.

It can’t have you.

I know you’re tired and running out of places to hide.

It won’t be long now, baby. Hang on.

‘Stay With Me”

When you feel it coming on;

don’t speak.

I’ll know.

I always know.

Grip my hand.

It’s alright, my dear.

Just look at me;

slowly close your eyes.

Hear me when I say;

“It’s Sunday morning;

We’re sitting on our porch,

On the 200 acres that were ‘absolutely necessary’, with coffee in your hand and facing the pond watching the ducks and looking to the pasture to count the head. Just like me, they’re still here too.”

Eyes closed. Just taking it all in.

Like, you’re thinking clearly for the first time in a long time.

Your shoulders no longer touch your ear lobes.

The creases in your forehead cease to exist.

Your fingers finally intertwine with mine and I hear;

“Hey, Darlin’.”

That’s when I know the Darkness has moved on to find more of what it took from you.

I’ll wait for you here.

So, I’ll say again, “Stay With Me”

Now, open your eyes.

I’ll stay.

Even when you can’t.

Even while you’re gone.