Maze

My friend and I were running through dark mazes. These mazes had so many dead ends and it was irritating every time I’d reach one, because each time I thought that maybe I’d finally be free from it. Who would wish that all their efforts would lead to nowhere?

I’m not in this maze anymore thankfully. I got out when I realized I couldn’t find a way out as soon as I wanted and gave myself a reality check to not give up. So, I made myself a few tools to break through the tall thick branches that formed the walls. It was the most time consuming and difficult, but I did it in the end. I told myself I’d find a way no matter how long it took me. When you’re in a situation like that, it’ll always be better late than never.

My friend however, has been in that maze for a few years and she never made it out..

I blame myself every time. Sure I couldn’t do anything to get her out, but some form of support could’ve at least made it easier. I was a selfish and doubtful sorry excuse of a friend at the time.

I remember she used to tell me all the time that she couldn’t find or see the materials that I had found which helped me. Sometimes her “excuse” would be that she didn’t know how to improvise and that she needed my help.

I told her that she was only making excuses for herself not to get any work done and wanted out the easy way. I told her that there were scraps everywhere. Looking back on it, that kind of thinking made no sense, because there wasn’t an easy way out.

I remember back then I was too focused on making my own escape to help her build her own materials so she could do the same. Or so that’s what I told myself, I didn’t feel like it deep down. She must’ve caught on because during that time she didn’t want to ask me for help whenever I seemed to make progress.

I should’ve known as her “friend” to give her advice regardless..

To give a little backstory, we all had a little maze of our own. We only communicate through walkie-talkies. We don’t remember how we got there, we just were. According to my friend, all of us had different set difficulties when it came to our mazes. I called it bullshit, even without knowing for sure whether or not it was true, simply because it was her who told me.

This friend of mine was the type to gain gratification from one upping misfortunes. She was like the boy who cried wolf to me. Every little thing she said irritated me because I couldn’t believe it. She always lied about the stupidest things. Sticking around her made me resent her presence more and more.It looked like she just wanted to sound badass or get pity points for talking about how her maze was “much harder.” I didn’t believe her one bit when she told me that.

I just kept on telling her obvious and useless advice such as “Even if you don’t find tools to make your way out, there’s still an exit no matter how big the maze.” To me it seemed like still managed to complain, my apathetic ass got frustrated with that.

In that maze, there was this rumor that there’s always this thing behind you a few turns. It’s said to be creeping up on us and they seem pretty harmless, but that’s far from the truth. Rumor has it they wait for you to be at your weakest. Some even say the thing sucks your life force along the way, so much that you even wish to be consumed by the creature itself to put you out of your misery. The creature is said to resemble the worst experience of your life and sometimes a mixture of yourself.

Of course this was all just a myth in order to encourage everyone to bust their ass off in order to get out.

Sometimes my friend would tell me she could feel the creature sneak up on her. I’ve never actually seen one myself and same with everyone else I’ve known. I’ve never even heard anyone talk about it, so I brushed it off as her trying to scare me or impress me at first or whatever. A part of me wondered that maybe she was even saying that to get attention.

A little while after, I was freed. I was too focused on my happiness outside the maze. I nearly forgot about my friend still navigating her way out, no, I intentionally made plans to put off speaking to her.

I was bored one night and I pulled out my walkie talkie because it was making rustling noises from inside the box I left it in.

I asked her how she hadn’t found the exit yet and I couldn’t stress enough that there were many ways to get out and it was unbelievable she still managed to be in there.

She cried to me, with the sound of desperation in her voice that I felt for her. “I- I can’t get out. These ‘resources’ you mentioned. I can’t see them. I’m running out of time and I don’t see myself being strong enough to outlast the time it’d take to make it to the exit. Especially not with “her..” who’s her? I asked.

“The creature who creeps on you when you’re the weakest..”

I was standing there silently, dumbfounded and wondering if she was serious. I dismissed it again. Everyone I’ve met has made it out of the maze without getting attacked by this made up creature. I was sure she was exaggerating, those cries couldn’t be real. I mean c’mon, how can she not see the alternatives before her? The walkie talkie makes a sound, “she’s coming for me, I need you to get over here..she’s going to kill me.” I sighed and asked her if she was available tomorrow because I already had enough on my plate to go dive back in there. I didn’t have the time nor patience to indulge in her crap tonight, she’s been doing this for years and nothing has happened to her. What was one more night? I was only doing this because I pitied the way she was sobbing to me.

The walkie talkie went silent and I took that as her taking the hint and being on board that I’d help her tomorrow.

The day went by and although I tried to contact her many times, I got no response

Many months pass by where I don’t hear a thing from that walkie talkie. A part of me hoped she got out and is living her life right now, but another side of me knows what really happened.

I think every time about that night, and how I could’ve prevented it. It’s a shame I even considered her my friend the way I saw and treated her.

I realized, her maze was a lot different and bigger. While I was overcoming my sociopathic tendencies, she was overcoming depression, well, she tried to.

But, I guess the creature was real after all,

and she really did take her own life,

because of the maze that was her mind.