Seeking Sanctuary

"Come on mom, you need to get your shit together!" I hissed, grabbing my mother's arms as I pulled her off her bedroom floor.

She was heavier than my hundred and fifteen pounds but I had gotten used to her weight overtime. After all this was a frequent occurrence.

"S-sorry Harl," she murmured, her speech slurred as she rolled onto the bed.

"Keep this shit up and you're gonna kill yourself," I spat in frustration, gaze leveled on her pale face and the red circles around her eyes. My gaze then lowered to the track marks on her arms and the empty syringe on the floor.

"I'm- I'm gonna stop Harl, I just..." she trailed off and scraped her tawny blonde hair from her face. "I just need some more time," she said, closing her eyes as she curled herself up in a ball and held on to a pillow.

"That's what you always fucking say," I murmured and left the room, slamming the door shut.

The empty plates my mom Hannah had used were still in the sink because no matter how grown she was, she was still able to make a mess in less than five minutes. I wasn't going to clean up after her this time around. She had to learn how to take care of herself for a change. I had done every other chore in the house and she was the biggest one.

Grabbing a box of cigarette, I went on the porch of the two bedroom house we lived in San Diego. Ben's motorcycle and his rickety old van was parked outside, adding to the junk that was already at the front of the peeling house.

I pulled out one of the cigarettes and lit it with a lighter I had tucked away in the pocket of my old worn out denim. Hanna said I was too young to smoke but I just couldn't see myself taking anything she said seriously. Afterall smoking and a few beers gave me the courage to be still living in this dump with two delinquents of a parents.

I rocked myself back and forth in the porch swing and enjoyed my smoke, glancing to the road where a few vehicles passed.

Jameson charter school would soon be dismissed and I would soon have to start my shift at Ronnie's diner. After dropping out of school a few months ago to help out my mom, he had offered to hook me up with a few shifts so dropping out of high school in my final year wouldn't be such a waste. It still was but if I hadn't stopped, things would have gotten a lot worse.

Two cigarettes later and thirty minutes of swimming in my own thoughts, I decided to go get ready for my shift. I took a shower, piled my layered bob cut on top of my head in a bun and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

I exited my room and found Hannah in the kitchen, washing the dishes at a snail's pace. She was sniffing and I knew it wasn't from crying.

Rolling my eyes, I approached her. "Mom, I swear if you keep this shit up I will leave and continue to let Ben beat you to a fucking pulp, I swear!" I spat angrily, watching as she ran a finger across her nose.

She glanced at me, her lips trembling. "I don't know how to stop Harl, I wish I knew but I..." she trailed off with a sob.

I grabbed her shoulders and spun her directly to face me. "Do it for me then? Please." I stared into her dilated pupils, surrounded by a mist of green and bloodshot red, my heart breaking at the sight. Beauty fading before my eyes because of an addiction that was eating her alive.

She nodded and I found a gentle reassurance in the action though I knew better not to. Hannah was an addict filled with empty promises and an undying love for drugs.

"Ok, so give me everything you've got so I can throw it away," I said, holding out a hand.

She was hesitant but then she wiped her hand and reached into the cupboard to give me her stash. Two small bags of coke. She then moved into the living room took some from under the stained sofa. By now One hand was filled with her demons but she wasn't done.

She moved into the bathroom and took some from there too before she finally stood confront of me, hugging her shoulders and avoiding my gaze.

"Is that all?" I asked firmly and she nodded. But she was lying. "Give me the rest, mom," I grated before she scratched her neck and dug into her pocket and slapped the small bag in my hand.

"That's it, I swear," she said and I somehow found some truth in that.

I nodded. "Follow me," and there I began my walk to the bathroom which wasn't far ahead.

I opened the lid of the toilet and emptied everything into in, occasionally glancing at my mom who's eyes were glued to the act while she bit her nails. I then flushed it and watched as it circled and disappeared into the deep hollow, a sense a relief consuming me.

"If you dare take anymore, I'm gone," I warned and she nodded.

She looked so pitiful and far older than thirty eight years old. She had allowed years of drugs to pine at her and suck at the life in her. A pang appeared in my heart and on impulse, I pulled her in my arms and hugged her tight. She sobbed against my shirt while it took everything within me to not do the same. I had to be the strong one for her.

When her crying subsided, I placed a gentle kiss on her clammy forehead and used my fingers to brush back the hair from her face.

"Everything will be fine mom. You'll be fine and I'll be fine and one day we're gonna get ourselves out of this dump and find a better place, ok?" I promised, watching as she nodded with a small smile.

"Ok, I'm gonna go to work now. If you need anything, just call me, ok?"

"Ok," she said.

My gaze remained on her for some passing seconds before I finally left the house and hopped on Ben's Kawasaki. He wasn't too enthused with me riding it but I had assured him it was the only ultimatum if he wanted me working at his diner.

I parked around the back of the red and white diner and entered through the back where the smell of food captured my senses. Clunks and sizzling sounds were coming from the kitchen along with the sound of chatter mixing in it.

I came up in Jill as I made my way to the front. Jill was a twenty two year old college drop out who always joked that the two of us had something in common.

"Hey spitfire, you're five minutes late and Ben's in the back," she warned, raising a perfectly manicured brow achieved from watching weeks of YouTube makeup tutorials.

"He can go fuck off," I said, pulling an apron from the rack and strapping it around me.

She chuckled. "He's been busy anyway. I doubt he'll notice but you better get on it before he does," she said, winking at me before she ventured into the kitchen with the four other cooks.

I grabbed a rag, passing patsy at the cashier who smiled her welcome before she continued to do her job. She was about fifty, working at the diner ever since Ben's dad was in charge. Unable to manage being on her feet all day, she had left the kitchen and sought the cashier position.

I began wiping tables, dreading aswell as preparing for the moment when high school kids would swarm the place, desperate for a milkshake while they did their homework or met up with their friends.

For now the diner was only occupied by a couple at one end and an old guy who came everyday to have the diner's special burger.

When the tedious task was done, I decided to head to the bathroom before the rush, almost bumping into Ben on my way in.

I attempted to step past him without the faintest acknowledgment when he blocked my path.

"Your late," he hissed, mouth twisting derisively.

"Its not like this place is swarming with customers," I bit back dryly.

"Some day I'm gonna cut that fiery little tongue from your mouth and I'll see what you'll say then," he snarled, his grey eyes shooting daggers while his oily medium length hair dangled in his acne ridden face.

Not allowing him the time of day, I moved past his looming stature and slipped into the bathroom where I released a sigh before using the bathroom.

...........

I watched from the counter as teenagers filled the room one by one, accompanied by their loud chatter and their laughter. My stomach churned, my hate for Ben increasing for putting me on this particular shift.

"Hey!" I heard a voice call. My head snapped to the far corner where Harry Peterson - the school's football captain- was with a group of his male and female companions.

I gritted my teeth and moved towards the cunning crew with my notepad in hand, tightly clutching onto the pen in case he tried something.

"What can I get you?" I asked as soon as I stood at their table, not bothering with the 'welcome to Ronnie's' bullshit.

Harry brushed a hand across his nose and glanced at the others with a smile before he looked up at me.

"So how's life, Hamilton?" he asked, thin lips stretched into a smug smile.

I sighed. "Let me know when you're serious," I said, turning to leave.

"Ok, fine. We'd all like milkshakes," he said, a mischievous look set in his brown eyes.

"What type?"

"Tiff, what do you want babe?" he asked the brunette beside him who proceeded to tell me her preference, the others joining in, in a chorus of chatter. I was able to get everything down nonetheless before I walked away with their whispers and chuckles behind.

It was something I had gotten used to and if the first day of working here didn't develop my tolerance for it, nothing else could. That day had been the absolute worst and it seemed the busiest Ronnie's had ever been, everyone curious to see if the high school drop out was actually waiting tables at the neighborhood diner. When their suspicions were confirmed, I got more whispers than orders and more laughs than ever. Eventually it had died down, but my name was still some persons hot topic it seemed. And having an addict for a mom didn't make matters easier either.

An hour later when the traffic slowed, I was at the counter when Graham McCord entered with his all consuming charm and good looks. Tall, acing in physique, he was far from the boys at Jameson charter. His dark hair was loose, brushing against his shoulders and framing an angular face with a square chin. Thick arrow pointed brows sitting above hazel eyes.

He was the school's top wrestler as far as I knew and also my best friend's, Georgina's cousin.

His gaze met mine and for a brief second, I felt embarrassed that he caught me staring but I quickly cleared my throat and watched as he approached me.

"Hey Harley, what's up?" he asked, even more good looking up close. I hadn't seen him so close in a long while. He hardly came by the diner and when he did he was with friends.

"Work. Can I get you something?" I asked looking into his hazel eyes.

"Nah, I uh...I came here to give you this," he said, pulling a book from his knapsack. "Georgie had a little emergency and she couldn't make it so she asked me to give you this," he said, handing me the notebook.

I hesitated momentarily before I took it. "Everything ok with her?" I asked, concerned while I took the book.

"Yeah I think her mom wants her help with something."

"Oh thanks," I said, glancing at the notebooks.

"No prob, I'll see you around Hamilton," he smiled and just like that he left, occasionally looking back at me while I stood there, not even cognizant of the small smile that had appeared on my face.

........

Hey guys so this is my first chapter. Let me know what you think in the comments. I would really appreciate it.

Thank you for reading!