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•Esme•
How is life unfair? How could it take people so easily and fast, as if it were a game of chess played on a spherical board?
My unending, hot, and heavy tears left searing tracks as they cascaded down my flushed face. I was having trouble breathing and maintaining my concentration as I looked at his tombstone.
Why was he forced to depart?
The memories of being with him came before my eyes in a brief 15-second episode, but it felt longer because we spent so much time together despite the fact that it was only a brief period of time.
Mr. Reigns – or Antonio, was my hero, my friend and my first crush. I’d known him for about 2 months since my eyes laid on him.
Despite being twice my age, he was interesting, a nice company, and pleasant to be around.
The fact that we had similar interests was what made us attracted to one another.
I enjoy reading, and so did he.
We therefore read everything in his own library whenever we had nothing to say.
He had a piano, and since I was interested in playing it, he taught me how to play it expertly. Together, we developed a rhythm that was known only to the two of us.
I used to escape by painting, but I didn't have much money to spend on canvases and paints. I used a pencil and a notebook up until my 19th birthday, when Mr. Reigns surprised me with a lot of canvases.
Although our friendship was robust and unique, it was never awkward. I had a hard time making friends, but Mr. Reigns made it simpler for me.
My mother used to say that if I didn't stop going to see Mr. Reigns the elderly man, I would never be able to make friends.
However, I didn't pay attention and instead I went to his mansion when he texts me to come over as we were adolescents to spend time together.
That was it when Catalina, his fiancee, wasn't present very often. Catalina was a nice, caring woman, but only when you showered her with money and diamonds.
When she's around him, I might feel jealous, but I always push that emotion away and ignore the hurt I experience everytime they hug one other and kiss in front of my very eyes.
Despite the pain I experience occasionally, I am aware that Mr. Reigns views me more as a daughter than anything else.
At the very least, I wanted him to see me as a friend.
I've had diabetes all my life, and getting insulin shots costs both my mother and me money.
Despite this, I've always relied on myself and have done my best to learn how to solve issues on my own without involving others.
My ideas, however, always turned out to be the complete reverse, as if my body preferred to be looked after than to take care of itself.
I mean, my body and I have never agreed on anything, so how is it possible that when I see Mr. Reigns, my body berates me and collapses in helplessness like a damsel in distress?
I was clueless.
Mr. Reigns decided to take care of me as a result. I have repeatedly declined, stating that I don't want to be a burden, but he constantly ignores me.
When I grin at his attempts to make me feel better, I can sometimes tell that he loved taking care of me too much because I can see the joy on his attractive, somewhat wrinkled face.
And when it came to me, he went so far as to disregard Catalina. I hated that Cataline saw me as the negative element in his life, as a distraction, and as someone who was only out for his money. I read all of that through her lovely hazel eyes.
However, I thought she was a very talented actress.
Alternatively, unless you gave her money and bling-blings, she didn't care much.
However, after Catalina complained about him being overly devoted to me, things only became worse when I overheard his pitying remarks from behind the door.
"Sweetheart, she just has her mother. The poor girl must not endure this."
I still recall what he said, and I hated being looked down at with pity because of mine and my mother status.
He loved the ground Catalina walked on and didn't want to lose her, but his neglect of me made me realize that not everyone would stick by you for so long.
And my mother was right; I needed to meet people my own age in order to feel more like my own age than when I was with Mr. Reigns.
I did, however, become friends once, but with Mrs. Peterson from the nursing home where I worked as a physical therapist for a month.
She was entertaining, and I was really disappointed in myself for having a hidden primitive soul.
When they are not grouchy and all, old people can be cool, honest, and occasionally entertaining.
But after a while of being apart, I ran into Mr. Reigns one day, and the memory stuck with me.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I struggled to see his gravestone and as the never-ending memories crashed together in my mind like waves.
Of him.
Of us.
