Chapter I
The Down Payment
Nana Zanga’s eyes opened. The room was still dark but he could see the faint light of dawn filtering in through the slits in the blinds. He guessed that the time could be about 5:00 am or 5:30 at most. His manhood was hard and painful: it was pressing against the shorts he was wearing causing a bump to form in front. He got out of bed gently so as not to wake the woman by his side. Her breath made a faint whirring sound as she slept peacefully. Zanga got to the edge of the bed and searched for his slippers using his feet on the floor in the dark. He found them, put them on, and walked quietly to the adjoining bathroom.
He pressed a switch by the side of the bathroom door and yellow light from a sixty watts bulb flooded the bathroom. Two cockroaches skittered desperately to hide from the light. It was actually a bathroom and toilet combined. The walls were supposed to be tiled but only rough dirty plaster remained. There was a mirror on the wall which was cracked because of a fall it had suffered before Zanga tied it to the wall with a piece of twine that was held in place by two nails, one on each end. There was a plastic tub, the type used for bathing a baby and a 20-litre paint bucket now used for storing water. A yellow 20-litre barrel that had been cut at the top so it could be used as a bucket in addition to a rectangular container which Zanga did not know what it had been used for before and a red plastic basin of about twenty-five litres. These five water containers lined the walls of the small L-shaped bathroom that Zanga used to store water. In addition to those, there were three 15 litre plastic jugs under the bathroom sink. He needed these containers because in the part of Ngoumou where he lived water flowed from the tap only once a week so he had to store water to use during the days when it did not flow.
He stood in front of the toilet, pulled down his shorts and held his manhood over the toilet. After a few seconds, the urine started coming out. It came out for about two minutes then stopped. He returned to the room. The woman in the bed could have shifted her position so he put on the light and quickly switched it off again so he could see exactly where she was. Her name was Hannah. She had been living with him for three years although they were not married.
Zanga hated using the term ‘Come we stay’ - used by most Cameroonians to describe a situation where a man and a woman decide to live together although they are not married - to describe their relationship. To him what he had with Hannah was very different from a ‘Come we stay’ relationship in more ways than one. The main one being that he had gone and made his intentions to marry her known to her family right up to the point where they had given him the list of items that he was to bring for the traditional marriage.
The list was long and expensive. A total of about seven million francs. Where did her family think he would have that kind of money? With his government job as a peacekeeper police officer, how much did they think he saved in a year? However, he had not yet given up hope. He had told her to be patient. He knew some other men who had told the girls they were involved with that they would never get married with such a high bride price. But not him; he had hope that one day he would have the money so he always told her to be patient. There he was after three years; he had still not saved a million francs. He loved Hannah very much but things were getting complicated.
The second way he thought his relationship was different from a classic ‘Come we stay’ was that one of the items on the list was that they had to have two babies at least. That was outrageous; he could barely afford to feed himself and Hannah yet her uncles wanted them to have two babies before bringing the rest of the items on a list whose total cost was seven million francs. It seemed to him as if he was in a vicious cycle. He could not afford to have babies but babies were required to perform the traditional marriage rites. He was not even thinking about going to the council to sign the civil documents or the wedding at the church, which is supposed to have a huge reception. Why were there three marriages anyway? One marriage was supposed to be enough to bind a couple together. For the three marriages, he was looking at about 14 million. Oh God. He often wondered where that kind of money would come from. What he wondered about more often was why he had not met anyone who belonged to one of those sell-your-soul-and-become-rich organizations. He would willingly join as long as he would have the money to change his civil status.
Presently he got on the bed and cuddled close to Hannah under the blanket. He slipped his hand under her nightgown and started stroking her abdomen lightly. She was not putting on any underwear and he could feel the hair on her abdomen that increased in thickness as his hand migrated towards her pubic area. He felt his manhood growing hard. He moved his hand up to feel her breasts. They were velvety and he loved feeling them. He pinched her nipples playfully and kissed her neck gently all the time moving his hand from her breasts down to her abdomen and her pubic area and back. He felt Hannah’s body become tense as she awoke. She grabbed his hand that was parading her body and pushed it away from her body firmly but gently. He brought back his hand to her abdomen again gently. She grabbed it and asked in a sleepy voice that told Zanga that she had spit in her mouth that she could not swallow because it tasted bad.
“What do you think you are doing?” she pushed away his hand again, left the bed, and went to the bathroom to empty her mouth and ease herself. After a few moments, she came back to the bed and covered herself with the blanket leaving Zanga out of it. Zanga sent his hand to touch her but she rebuked him.
“Don’t try it,” Hannah said in a voice that was difficult for Zanga to tell if she was serious or not.
“What’s wrong nah? What’s this new attitude you have started? What’s wrong with you? Are you ill?” Zanga asked frustrated. When he had started touching her, he was half hoping she would respond positively. The attitude of hers was not very new to him. She had started it a few months back. She started by saying she was tired, then she changed the excuse to that she was fasting, and then she had to go for a retreat at the church, and then it became that she was tired again. Of all the nuisances a woman could be, to him, this was the worst: Refusing to have sex because of one thing or the other. If she were annoyed about something, why would she not just say it? Why use indecent tactics?
He was not a regular churchgoer but he allowed her go and there were times he had accompanied her there for functions such as marriages and child baptisms of people they had come to be familiar with in the church. Lately, she had become seemingly more dedicated to the services and prayer meetings. A hint of regret that he had allowed her to continue attending the church passed through his mind. His manhood was throbbing and pressing hard against his shorts generating a dull pain that only she could alleviate. Well, not only she. A serious distraction could too but he preferred her. He sat up on the bed and tapped her shoulder with his hand.
“What’s wrong? You have been acting all stingy lately. I don’t get it, talk to me please” Zanga said again.
“As if you don’t know,” she said and pulled the blanket tighter around her body.
“I don’t know, or I have forgotten, please remind me,” Zanga said “Please” He had an idea what the problem could be, but he never liked giving someone the words with which to express themselves.
Hannah made no answer, but stood up and walked to the table at the other corner of the room and picked up a piece of paper and handed it to Zanga. He tried reading it in the light that was coming in through the window but it was too shadowy so he went and put on the light. He looked at the paper he was holding and felt the hardness in his manhood dissipate as he realized what she had handed him. It was the dowry list. He ran his eyes through it. It was like this, in someone’s handwriting:
Items for the father:
100 Sheets of roofing sheets (3 meters)
1 Sanili motorcycle
100 bags of cement
300 planks (5meters by 30centimeters)
30 packets of nails
1 walking stick
1 pipe for smoking
1 white shirt
5 bottles of whiskey
500,000 francs
Items for the mother:
1 Washing machine
1 Dishwasher (Whirlpool)
1 Singer sewing machine
1 wool blanket
40 litres of palm oil
40 litres of groundnut oil
1 apple iPhone (preferably iPhone 5)
300,000 francs
Items for siblings
1 laptop
1 PlayStation 3
200,000 francs
Items for the celebration:
60 crates of beer
40 crates of sweet drinks
20 bottles of whiskey
5 pigs (150 kg each)
1 cow
3 goats
10 cartons of fish
5 jars of palm wine
It was not the exact list her uncles had given him but a photocopy she had made. At the bottom of the list, she had added one new item in her neat handwriting: 1 plasma TV for the bride.
“This is the bride price list; I have seen it before, except for the newest item,” Zanga said taking his eyes away from the list to look at her.
“Good, and what did you promise me you would do when you saw it for the first time?” Hannah asked calmly
“Baby come on, I…” Zanga tried to speak but found no words
“What did you promise me you would do?”
“That I would get the money for everything” Zanga finally found his voice and replied.
“And how long has it been since we moved in together?” She asked but did not wait for him to answer “Three years. We have been together for three years, all you do is postpone and postpone” Hannah said infuriated. She emphasized on the second three years. Zanga thought he saw a stress vein pop up in her neck before it quickly vanished. Her voice sounded like it came from her bowels, not her throat.
“It’s not like that baby, it’s just that things have been a little too tough lately. But I’m trying, I swear.” Zanga said, “Besides the list is too expensive; it looks like your uncles want to build a house from my pocket. You told me you are an only child but I am seeing items I have to present to siblings. They probably think I don’t know about your family. Do they think that money grows on trees?”
“Why are you the only one complaining? Do the other men who have married their wives and are living together have two heads?
“Your mother wants an iPhone even though I can’t afford an iPhone for myself. She even has the heart to specify the version of the iPhone she wants.” Zanga said, “I can’t believe some people”
“I have told you that my mother had nothing to do with the making of that list.” Hannah said getting angry the even more “My uncles are the ones who made the list”
“But your mother was supposed to intervene or you could tell them that your fiancé can’t afford those things. PlayStation 3: Really? That thing costs like six hundred thousand francs. This is the first time I am even seeing a marriage list with a PlayStation on it. It’s clear that your uncles don’t want you to marry period.”
She seemed to calm down. She came and sat on the edge of the bed. Sunlight was now entering through the window and they could hear cocks crowing in the distance. Soon it would be full daylight and he would have to go and bathe in readiness for work. She looked at him squarely. He was apprehensive.
“It’s no longer about my uncles, it’s about me.” She exhaled “I have been attending Bible studies every day at Harriett’s. And I have been reading the bible more and more” She laughed a short laugh. “I never thought I could ever read the bible from beginning to end. Not just reading it in passing but studying and enjoying every part of it. I have been learning a lot. I think I want to start attending church. I think I would start attending Pastor Patrick’s church.”
“What has your attending church got to do with this list?” Zanga asked waving the paper in front of Hannah’s face.
“It means that I would not be available intimately” she replied. “The bible says that God is not happy with us when we test drive without being married. So the earlier you go and get those items on the list the better for us.”
“This is unbelievable. You want to use test driving as leverage to force me to marry you?” Zanga cried
“No, if you like don’t get the things ready; wait till I move out of your house. The bible forbids ‘Come we stay’. Let me tell you if you don’t know. There is a word for it. It’s called fornication.”
“Wonders and the last and latest item, the flat-screen TV is for you?” Zanga asked, “Since when does a bride add items to the dowry list?”
“Since now. I am willing to bend the rules of my new found religion” she lifted one of her fingers to stress her next statement “If you buy me the 51-inch plasma TV. Preferably Sony: I don’t want something that will stop working after five years.”
Zanga scoffed “Do you know how much plasma TVs cost? Stop being unreasonable, you know I can’t afford such a TV.” He immediately wished he had not said so.
“So I am unreasonable if I ask for a TV but you don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to be letting you use my engine for free, right?” Hannah asked feeling her calmness melt away “If you do not end up marrying me, which is becoming more and more likely every day, who will lose? Me.”
“Come on, I did not mean it that way, I’m sorry,” Zanga said, “I only meant that I could not afford the TV, that’s all”
“I can no longer afford to let you test drive for free, you will need to make a down payment,” Hannah said, “I have done what was required to prove that I’m a worthy wife.”
It was now full daylight; she got up and pulled back the blinds from the window to allow more light to enter the room.
“So what do you want me to do now that I don’t yet have the money for the items on this list?” Zanga asked with perplexity.
“I don’t know. I have only said my own: No more test driving without a down payment” Hannah replied petulantly.
Zanga remained silent for a few moments as he thought. The problem here was not a plasma TV: it was marriage. He could not afford the money but looking at things now, Hannah’s problem was really a security problem. She wanted to be sure that they would eventually end up together once the money became available else she would at least have a plasma TV to console herself if the relationship ended badly. The only way to secure her was to get married. However, how was he to get married to her without spending the money for the items on the dowry list? He scratched the side of his face as he thought hard. He evaluated the cost of each of the steps of the marriage repeatedly in his head. He had heard of people who first did the traditional marriage and waited five years before continuing with the other steps, that is, the civil signing and the white wedding.
Hannah stood up and went into the bathroom. After a few moments, Zanga could hear the sound of her toothbrush on her teeth and water splashing in the sink. By the time she came out of the bathroom, she had washed her face. She looked beautiful even without any makeup. Zanga loved her very much.
“I’m going to get bread and eggs for breakfast. Do you want anything else?” she asked as she tied her hair into one lock with a rubber band she had found in her purse.
Zanga shook his head without looking at her. He was still thinking about how to get her down payment. Something that would prove to her that he would eventually marry her if he had the money and even assure himself that she would not leave the relationship out of frustration abruptly. He knew how women were. He decided he had to step up his hustle. He had to save more and spend less. He started drawing up a strategy in his mind on how to raise more money for the plasma TV or at least the signing of their marriage at the council. If he could have the money, convincing Hannah that they should do a secret signing at the council would not be too hard. Her uncles and his mother need not be aware of the arrangement. He knew to sign at the council required witnesses but he could get any of his colleagues and she could get any of her friends who did not know her family to stand as witnesses. He had never thought he would resort to this but as the saying went, “Desperate times call for desperate measures”.
He had no choice. He loved Hannah too much and did not want to lose her. She was beautiful, loving, caring and understanding except in this instance of course where she had decided to be unreasonable. She took care of his house and his needs so effortlessly. Apart from the fact that she had refused to test drive these past few months, she was the best thing that had happened to him. Zanga only wondered what had made her change suddenly. From the way Hannah sounded, all hell will break loose if he could not provide her down payment. He could not let that happen. He had to get the money by hook or crook. Zanga thought that his life had become hell but nothing could prepare him for the hell that was to become a part of his life three weeks later.
When she returned with the things she bought, he was already dressed for work. In addition to the eggs and bread, she had also bought Lipton tea and milk in small sachets that cost 100 francs each. She went to the kitchen area and quickly heated some water to which she added the Lipton and one of the sachets of the milk tossing in three cubes of sugar to sweeten the mix. She cut up the bread and into slices and loaded each slice with a small amount of the fried eggs. She had a way she made her fried eggs that he loved; she put only salt and ground garlic in them. She placed all the things on a white plastic tray and set it before him on his lap. He ate with relish and with speed, hardly spending enough time to chew the food properly. A sip of tea followed each mouthful of bread and egg mix closely. She stood there watching him eat for a while with what could have been smirk on her face before heading back to the kitchen area to make her breakfast. Zanga loved good food and Hannah’s was superb. He knew he could not afford to lose such a jewel. Hook or crook he had to find the money.
