A Frigid November Evening

He hated his crummy old car that he couldn’t start from inside of the building like everyone else. They had the luxury of getting theirs going fifteen minutes or so before clocking out so when they got in it was all heated up and ready to go.

Sterling didn’t have much to rush home to anyway, no one to greet him except a couple of stray cats he fed from time to time.

He slammed the door behind himself, but it was not much relief. It was just as cold as being outside, at least it offered protection from the unforgiving wind, he threw on his hood and pulled the drawstrings tight.

He started the car and like always it sounded like it may die at any moment. Sterling searched through the clutter for a lighter and lit a cigarette while it warmed. He fidgeted with the radio, but the speakers went in and out.

Something moved out of the corner of his eye and he turned to see a young woman sitting by the edge of the parking lot on the curb. He did a double take when he realized she was only in a t-shirt and when she turned, it was even worse than that.

He figured she had to be about five, maybe six months pregnant. He wasn’t jumping to conclusions. She had a thin, frail build with a very round, swollen belly. He felt confident it was one of those times where it was safe to assume.

He ruffled through more of what was the insanity of his car and found a hoody and a half-eaten bag of chips, took the keys out of the ignition, and stuffed them in his pocket, then got out the car. He couldn’t help but think of how many people had passed her without caring.

“Uhm, Miss,” he said as he approached her. He stepped slowly towards her, but she didn’t respond. He cleared his throat and tried again, a little louder, but still softly, “Excuse me, Miss.”

Nothing.

He approached her and lightly touched her shoulder and she sprung into the air and took a defensive position.

Sterling apologized. She looked bewildered like a deer in headlights. He apologized again and extended the bag of chips to her. She pushed them away, but she snatched the hoody and put it on immediately although awkwardly. She went back to a protective stance, narrowing her eyes, and then widening them and then narrowing them again.

Sterling excused the chips telling her that was all he had on him. She seemed a little more relaxed, but he could tell she was still on edge so he kept his distance.

Even with the hoody on she was shaking like a leaf, he took off his jacket and offered it to her as well. She took it and put it on in one swift motion. This time though she gave him something like a smile, not exactly, but the softened expression made her much more approachable.

“Do you speak English?” he asked.

She stared blankly at him.

He happened to know some sign language since his best friend’s sister is deaf, so he signed to her, but she did not respond to that either. Maybe she spoke a different language. He knew some broken French from high school but that was a miss too. That was all he had.

Sterling wondered how long she’d been outside in nothing but a thin t-shirt. He had only been without a jacket a minute and he was already feeling like a popsicle.

She looked a bit younger than himself, maybe mid-twenties, he expected.

Her hair was disheveled, clothes several sizes too big and she wore large men's slippers. She was small except for her protruding stomach.

He kept trying to estimate how far along she was. He did not know much about pregnancy, but Lisa in the office is six months pregnant and she was about the same size.

His teeth began to chatter as he stood in his button up bracing the cold. He couldn’t stand it any longer, but he could not leave her there.

The gesture to follow is universal because she understood it and followed him without hesitation. He sat in his car and gestured for her to get in.

“It’s okay, it is warm in here,” he said, in case she did understand, “or at least it will be.” He smiled big and waved her over.

She stayed where she was and batted her big doe eyes. He got out and escorted her to the passenger side and helped her in.

She was cautious and seemed wary, but not hostile.

He hopped back in and started it up, the engine struggling frightened her, and the reaction was intense and almost childlike.

She jumped, cried out and looked around madly as if to figure out which way it was coming from, and he felt bad.

Sterling tapped her shoulder and made eye contact.

“I’m sorry,” he said and signed, not knowing if she understood, but thinking it was better than uncomfortable silence. “It makes me wanna cry too.” He chuckled lightly.

She remained silent but mirrored his mannerisms.

He wasn’t sure what he was about to do with her, but he could not leave her out there, there was nothing around for miles.

“My name is Sterling,” he told her. He pointed to himself and nodded while he said it.

She did the same pointing to herself and nodding, she said something that sounded like, “I Jess.”

“Is your name Jess? Hi Jess, nice to meet you,” he said, unsure if that was what she really said, but at least he had something to call her. Her words were kind of mumbled, or slurred, perhaps a language barrier or a speech impediment.

He had no idea what to do, his phone being dead did not help, and he broke his charger, or perhaps it had been lost to the mess. Either way he could not look up a shelter or place he could take Jess right now.

His Auntie Minnie would know, she worked and volunteered at many places in the community, it was her area of expertise.

Plus, he figured she’d give them both a warm meal which would be great because his place had nothing to offer.

The vents were finally beginning to blow warm air and it felt great. Jess appeared to be comfortable because she was starting to doze off.

“Jess,” he whispered gently, he realized she was startled easily.

She pointed to herself, “I Jess.”

“Yes, you’re Jess,” he said, making it a point to not come across as condescending. “Can we buckle you up Jess? I’ll be careful for baby,” he added, adjusting the seat belt around the bulbous tummy.

She let him help her, saying, “I Jess.”

He nodded.

He drove across town to his aunt’s and pulled up in the driveway.

The motion light activated, and the speaker sounded, “Sterling, darling, park in the garage and let yourself in.”

He pulled into the open garage, and it closed behind him.

He got out of the car and debated whether or not he should wake Jess and take her in with him, but then he thought that she could probably use the rest and had probably slept in worse places than a car. It was not running, and it was warm in there, but mostly he did not want to bombard his aunt right away after not returning any of her calls for weeks.

Minnie hugged him tightly, she knew how he was, and never held it against him.

Even when he didn't respond to phone calls or come visit unless he needed something. It drove her crazy that he would only send the occasional text, days later at some random hour, but she loved him through it.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, knowing everything was not alright. Appearing randomly at this hour with no call ahead usually meant he needed money or a place to stay, or both.

Sterling explained that his phone was dead and that’s why he hadn’t called first, and yes that was the case now, but when it was charged, he did not answer it, and he was never at his desk when she called.

She naturally began preparing food for him. She worried about him; he looked thinner than normal.

“What's going on, Sterling, darling?” She knew him well.

She was the closest thing he ever had to a mother.

He was ashamed of himself, whenever he did come see her, he had his hand out.

At least this time it wasn’t for himself.

Before he could answer her, there was a buzzing sound.

Auntie Minnie instantly stopped chopping vegetables and looked at the surveillance on her phone, “Did you bring someone with you?”

Sterling stood beside his aunt and they both watched a pregnant woman step out of his car. She must have been warm because she’d removed the jacket and the hoody.

“Oh, my goodness, Sterling is that? Are you going to be a father? Is that why you haven’t called? How far along is she? Oh, what’s her name? Wait a minute, did you leave her in the car? Sterling, I raised you better,” she was speaking a million thoughts at once in that moment as they headed to the garage to let her in.

“No, no, no, it's not what you think,” he calmed her, as well as she knew him, she did not know him at all, “I thought I would come here because you know things and places. I found her; she needs help.”

Aunt Minnie let out a sigh of relief and he was amused; she still thought that was a problem he might face.

Of course, Minnie was willing to help in any way she could.

She loved him so for this, he was similar to her in that way, taking in strays.

He could not pass her the same as anyone else could because the sole reason he was here, the reason he called her Auntie was because he knew it is what she had done for his mother, for him.

Minnie met his mother when she first started volunteering.

She was a nurse who spent her spare time volunteering in clinics and group homes.

Sterling’s mother, Elizabeth was a pregnant teenager who was homeless, underfed and in desperate need of medical attention.

Beth became her special cause. Minnie helped anyone she could as much as she could, it was how she was. This time though, she opened up more than just her heart, she opened up her home.

Minnie never regretted it, even when Beth left when Sterling was four months old and was never heard from again.

She knew exactly why he could not have left Jess there.

Assisting Jess was difficult because she was very cagey.

Minnie gave her access to the spare room that had a bathroom attached and all the things she may need to clean up along with a fresh pair of pajamas, but most importantly they gave her space.

No one knew what she had been through, and they did not want to do anything that would make her feel triggered or unsafe.

They both checked on her several times from outside the door being careful not to seem intrusive.

She seemed alright. She did take a long time with every little task, but they did not rush her. Jess was determined to do it on her own and they let her.

After some time, she finally came out to the kitchen dressed in what Minnie had given her, the shirt buttons were one off so one side was longer, and the socks were upside down. Her hair was still uncombed and her eyes wide as ever; they were two saucers as she surveyed the room.

She plopped down beside Sterling who was shoveling food into his mouth.

He stopped and offered her a plate, but she pushed it aside, pointing to herself and saying, “I Jess.”

He nodded as he went back to stuffing his face.

She sat beside him seeming less agitated but still guarded, refusing both food and water.

He ate a second serving and his aunt sipped tea. Jess began to doze at the table, leaning on his shoulder.

Sterling said her name in a mild tone to get her attention without alarming her. She responded after a light touch.

They led her back to the room where the bed was made up beautifully.

Jess basically threw herself atop it and fell asleep upon impact.

“Now what?” he asked his aunt as they closed the door most of the way behind them.

“I know a place we can take her in the morning. They have a wonderful program for young ladies in her situation,” she reassured him.

He nodded. He showered and changed and met Minnie in the kitchen.

They sat at the table, she’d made cookies, no surprise, warm delicious chocolate chip cookies, she really was the perfect Auntie. Sterling felt bad, she deserved more than him just popping by when he needed something.

They talked about how he had found Jess. He explained that she did not exactly respond back, but she seemed to understand most things.

He was not sure if it was a language barrier or a communication issue, but it didn’t feel like an intellectual delay. Minnie agreed with him.

It was odd how some things she did were so clumsy, it was as if she was doing them or seeing them for the first time, but the way she instantly picked them up seemed more like she had done them a million times and simply needed to be reminded.

“She responds well to you,” Minnie began and then came the speech of why he should use his years of college for social work to help the community. She reminded him how he was wasting his life working for some lame company that sells useless things to the elderly.

It wasn’t a bad description of what he did, and he hated it to be honest, but the alternative was constantly being reminded of his past.

Every time he took on a case it drained him. When he helped someone, he saw himself in them and things got far too personal, he became overwhelmingly invested and inevitably heartbroken.

He knew he did not need to, but he still asked for permission to spend the night.

Obviously, he could, his childhood bedroom was always there just how he left it, any time he needed to crash.

Sterling stepped outside and the temperature had dropped significantly since he was last out.

He shuttered and pulled the draw strings tight.

After a few hours of necessary catching up he needed to do some thinking and he did his best thinking with a cigarette between his fingers.

He waited to turn the corner before he lit it. Once he did, he inhaled it desperately.

He wanted to spare himself the lecture, he snickered in spite of himself, he felt like a teenager again, hiding to smoke.

He knew she meant well, but he always had his best moments of clarity when he smoked and that was really what he could use right about now.

He sat on the curb and wondered how he’d gotten himself here.

He knew just like Auntie Minnie did why he could not leave Jess there, but at the same time, now what?

Jess was lovely, she made him think of when his aunt had him in art therapy.

She was like a beautiful palette of browns and gold, from her skin to her hair to her eyes, all soft hues of bronze and tans mixed with a shimmery glow.

He was most certainly not attracted to her in any way, it was more that she was just genuinely lovely.

He knew what it was, that was him in there. The baby she held could be saved, the way he had been.

He was far from perfect and just barely functioning half the time, but he knew it could be far worse. Auntie Minnie saved him, and Jess and her baby could be saved just the same.

For a moment he felt that feeling that his aunt spoke of, the one that kept her volunteering all these years.

There was a moment when you knew you were doing exactly what you were supposed to be doing and that instant is everything.

That is exactly what he felt, exhaling into the frosty night.

He headed back towards the house as he thought about Jess. It was interesting that she did not say anything, but he knew she understood more than she led on. It felt as if she meant more than she could communicate, more than maybe him, or his aunt realized.

Laying in his childhood room was always nostalgic and reflective, and he never slept better.

In the morning both Sterling and Minnie awoke before Jess and agreed not to disturb her, she was in fact sleeping for two.

While she did, it gave him more time and he used it to apologize for his absence and thoughtlessness.

She told him he needn’t worry. She only wanted him to be happy, he knew that.

“You know Sterling, darling,” she paused. “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. You are the son I never had; you know?” her eyes welled with tears.

She wiped them away, “I won’t do this,” she cleared her throat and they both laughed.

She fought her urge to let her emotions get the best of her.

“What I mean is, things have been difficult for you and understandably so. However, I haven’t seen you light up the way you did when you were helping Jess in such a long time. This is your calling my love, I know you felt it.”

She was right. Some way, some how he felt for Jess and hers the way Minnie had felt for him and his mother, instantly and without question.

They ended up finally nudging Jess almost two hours later. They lost themselves in conversation and reminiscing.

Sterling knew how to approach her, and it worked well. She woke up seeming as if the rest had really mellowed her out. She took a long time to change and get ready, again they let her go at her own pace.

She refused food and water again and Sterling encouraged her.

She moved it away from her, “I Jess.”

They pulled up to the Geraldine Smith-Wells Shelter and Sterling sat with Jess while his aunt talked to a friend of hers that worked there.

It was a place where they took in young ladies in her same position and got them medical attention and offered them a temporary place to live while they assisted them with finding resources.

They had an available bed and would be able to set her up with a doctor’s appointment as early as tomorrow. It felt promising, Auntie Minnie’s confidence reassured Sterling that they were doing the right thing.

They stayed and prepared her room for the time being and then promised to visit soon.

Jess grabbed Sterling’s arm; he knew she wanted him to stay.

His aunt stepped out to give them a moment.

He sat with her on the edge of the bed. He could see she was upset.

Sterling tried to explain that this was best for both her and the baby.

She shook her head violently and said, “No, no baby, I Jess.”

That was the most he’d heard her say. He gave her some advice although it felt more like he was getting something off his chest.

He choked out, “Sometimes you have to do what's best for the baby, even if you don't want to, especially then.”

That was what he had wished his mother would have done for him.

He went home that night and thought about leaving Jess.

He knew he was doing what was best for her, but he wondered what she meant by ‘no baby’.

Did she not want to keep the baby? Maybe there was more to it. He felt remorseful that he may have let his own situation blind him. Jess could have been trying to tell him something and he couldn’t see past his own pain.

He tossed and turned letting his thoughts eat at him. He lit a cigarette and promised himself that he would go see her the next day and resolve whatever it was, and with that he fell asleep.

He took a half day at work and would check on her after. He jammed two days of work into a chaotic morning and by one o'clock he headed over to the shelter.

An older gentleman at the desk told him there was no one there by the name of Jess. It was possible that they found her identification and discovered her legal name or maybe they labeled her by her case number.

After a few frustrating minutes describing Jess and yesterday’s check in, Tasha Miller, his aunt’s friend, walked by, and he called out to her.

She turned around and gave him a strange reaction, an expression as if she wanted to run away.

She stopped and took a deep shaky breath, “Could we talk, do you have a minute?”

The tone in her voice made him panic as he stepped into her office.

He took a seat, and she went on to explain that Jess left.

Apparently, she said she had to leave, and she left.

He was appalled and disgusted and his face must have shown it because she immediately started apologizing and justifying it.

“Mr. Johnson as you know, we cannot force her to stay or to get medical attention and she was more than competent enough to refuse it,” she responded blamelessly.

Something inside of him jumped up, he knew exactly what this was, he'd worked this field before. He knew the other side, the people who only see the money, not the people. The ones that didn't care or try.

The people who’d never been there and saw them less as people and more as a case file.

“This is bullshit!” he exploded, slamming his fist onto her desk.

“Mr. Johnson, because your aunt is a dear friend of mine, I will not call security, but I will have to insist that you calm down,” she spoke nervously.

He apologized, reeling it in and sat back down, still asking for a further explanation.

Jess hardly spoke, but from one minute to the next she was able to articulate that she was not going to stay? It didn't make any sense.

He wanted to know what really happened, he was so frustrated by her lack of empathy, her cavalier attitude about letting a young pregnant woman with no resources out into the cold streets.

She gave him reasons, but he felt they were excuses and he stormed out.

Now what? He really did not know what to do. He should not have left Jess at that stupid shelter, he should have listened to his gut, to her. What did she mean? No baby? Poor Jess.

He drove like a madman to his aunt’s house only to remember that she told him she was going to be out of town for three days beginning today.

He was so mad he just sat there for a minute when the speaker sounded, “Sterling darling, do you need a place to sleep tonight? You know the code.”

“No, thank you, Auntie Minnie,” he said, “I just forgot you were out of town."

He drove home and wore out his carpet pacing as he chain smoked. He wondered where Jess could be and what she was doing, if she was cold, or hungry.

He distracted himself with a few hours of senseless video game violence.

He ordered a small pizza, but barely had an appetite. It was when he opened the door for the delivery guy, he realized the severity of the weather and he could not help but think of Jess.

He was restless and decided to go out and search for her. He drove the streets near his aunt’s house, if she remembered where it was, she might have returned, but he couldn’t see anything but the snow starting to pick up.

He drove to the area of his office building, where he saw her for the first time.

He rode up and down the streets as the light snow became heavier. He circled the block hoping that maybe the eighth time would be the charm, but nothing.

Even with the heat blasting at its highest setting it was cold. He pulled in the lot lit up by street lamps. To his dismay the car stopped. He hadn’t turned it off, it died.

“No!” he screamed.

It was far too cold, and he could not take this, not now.

He got out of the car cursing and screaming. He pointlessly opened the hood of the car; he didn’t know anything about what he was looking at.

This was his own fault; it had been so long since he had a tune up or anything. It made sense, this was a long time coming, but it was bad timing.

Sterling slammed the hood shut and lit a cigarette. He was so upset he didn’t feel the freezing weather as he paced, and that's when he noticed her standing there. He recognized his hoody and ran to her without delay, “Jess!”

She turned around, but there was no belly, he stood confused and quiet.

No baby rang through his mind.

Jess looked at him and smiled and tapped his shoulder, “Sterling, you are probably thinking that I had the baby or lost the baby, aren't you?”

He was speechless.

She went on, “I kept trying to explain to you, digest.”

He stood in awe.

“My name is far too complicated for your tongue to pronounce, so, yes, perhaps going with Jess is what is best for you, but, well, what you must understand is I was attempting to explain the process,” she spoke eloquently.

He stood frozen, not from the weather, but the shock. He most certainly owed Mrs. Miller an apology. Jess or whoever she was, did leave fully aware and capable.

“Acclimating to this new form is very complex, but my true form could not withstand it here. I was implanted. I was learning,” she stopped when she noticed he was stepping away from her.

Sterling could not find words, instead he started backing up and heading towards his car.

“Please, no, Sterling,” she followed behind him. “I had been there,” she pointed to the curb where he originally found her, “cold, and lonely a long time before anyone even looked my way, much less offered me help, but you and your aunt were so kind, are so kind. I could not say any of the things I was thinking before. You have to understand, not only was I trying to learn how to balance and walk and well, move in general, I was concentrating on breathing and blinking. I had not yet tapped into involuntary functions. On top of all that I was trying my best to communicate, not knowing how to express the things I wanted to or how vocal cords work. You had to have known I meant more. I was aware enough. It was all new, it is all new, but I learn fast, muscle memory helps.”

Sterling started to question his sanity. Here in front of him was the young lady who just a day ago was pregnant and barely able to communicate, now without the pregnancy and speaking to him in better vocabulary than he had.

Who was she? Had she regained her memory? Her crazy memory because nothing she said made sense. What was happening?

He went to get in the car, and she pleaded, “Please, wait, please, can I sit with you a minute and explain, please?”

He let her because what else could he do. He was paralyzed by utter confusion.

She got in.

“The baby?” he managed to get out. He didn't know what to think or what to say.

“Sterling, I told you there was no baby, the best I could. I never said Jess, not I Jess. I said, digest. I was in the process of digestion. I started to take over the vessel once I was implanted. I was in the water, we started in the water,” she stopped again when Sterling looked like he might lose it.

“It’s not what you’re thinking,” she tried to recover and touched his arm.

He pulled away. She had to be right because it could not be what he was thinking.

No way, it could not be, because what he was thinking was she saying something out of one of those old late-night movies.

If he didn’t know any better, it sounded like she said that she was a parasite from elsewhere, traveling through water until consumed and then overpowered the host. Well, that couldn’t be what she was saying.

She could not be telling him that the helpless pregnant girl he meant to help was really just a shell of her former self overtaken by an alien bacterial life form that had to learn to properly control her body like some kind of human meat suit puppet?

That the round belly he mistook for pregnancy was really a foreign organism slowly digesting through the human system until it became dominant.

She felt awful that he was scared of her, but he didn’t understand.

Sterling was trying to compose himself. He wanted to go to his aunt’s and climb into his bed and sleep. Sleep, he figured, this had to be some weird dream.

This was a nightmare of some kind, or she needed to be checked into an entirely different place than the shelter they checked her into yesterday.

Where was the baby?

He couldn't breathe. She couldn’t be saying anything that was real or true, an extraterrestrial invasion and they’re in the water?

He was shaking his head and mumbling to himself, “It’s a dream, it’s just a dream, wake up Sterling.”

“Please let me explain, you are probably thinking we are here to attack, it’s the opposite. There's only a few of us. We came to further investigate, to determine whether your planet was already infected and if it was not, is it worthy of being saved. There's something going around in our universe. We are calling it a planet plague, essentially the planets have been imploding. Haven’t you noticed the recent activity? You call them supernovas or star explosions, but they are not stars; they are planets you've yet to discover. Homes being burned from the inside out, being extinguished, exterminated,” she spoke so passionately, and he could tell she truly believed what she was saying.

In the news these last few months scientists were amazed by an array of supernovas in a row, it was unlike anything they had ever seen.

“We could not save our home, but we have learned much since then,” she said slightly above a whisper.

Sterling started laughing, he did not know what to do. The night before he thought he reached an epiphany about his path in life and now if he believed her, it did not matter because the world might be coming to an end.

If, he pondered, if this is true and real then she was part of some advanced race from outer space who was currently on a mission to decide if humankind was desirable enough to rescue, if we were not already doomed as it were.

Yes, crazy, he knew someone in the car was crazy and he was thinking maybe it was him.

He very well may have been losing it because he had questions, instead of dismissing it and laughing it off, he was laughing but because he was buying it.

Jess reasoned with him, “We do not mean harm, yes, I inhabited her body, but it was for the greater good. Can you understand that?”

He knew why she was saying that to him because the way he was looking at her was exactly how you might expect him to look at her, skeptical and terrified.

He took in a young woman he thought to be pregnant and homeless and in need, but somehow, he ended up with an entity from out of this world occupying some innocent person who drank the wrong water.

“This is crazy!” he yelled, grabbing his face with his hands.

“I can show you, I can prove it,” she looked him in the eyes with the pair she borrowed.

What do you really look like, he imagined.

“Do it,” he demanded.

She swallowed hard.

“Or can’t you?” he mocked, what was he thinking? What did he really expect her to do? He put his face in his hands again.

She broke the silence and explained the way to show him, in order for it to work with a human was through saliva exchange and he erupted into uncontrollable laughter.

Why not, how suiting, this had been the strangest thing that had ever happened to him so why not seal it with an intergalactic straight kiss.

“It’s the only way,” she coaxed.

He agreed, feeling like he was in high school all over again, sitting in a car with a pretty girl he didn’t want to kiss, but was going to anyway.

“Do it!” he braced himself and was met with the softest lips and then she jabbed her tongue roughly into his mouth and spit a little.

He pulled back disgusted, wiping his mouth and about to let her have it when he was overcome with something. Visions, like dreams, but far more vivid than he had ever had.

Beautiful lands grew plants he’d never seen, such astonishing sights. He witnessed species that he never imagined possible.

Sterling felt he’d become a part of scenes in a movie after it was filmed, he existed, but only as an observer.

Cities bustled around him, children of all shapes and sizes played.

Happiness is universal, he saw it, he could feel it even if he could not interact with it.

He was fascinated, he felt foolish for assuming that humans were the only intelligent life. How audacious, he thought.

Suddenly as beautiful as it was is how horrible it became. One after the other, rotting from the inside, burning, and spreading to every living thing.

Flourishing communities crumbling, eroding, until they were nonexistent.

He returned from the daze he was in, and he was crying hysterically.

Jess gave him time to gather himself, he had witnessed thousands of tragedies in a few minutes, it was a lot to acquire, especially with a society like theirs, so primitive and undeveloped.

She knew he was coming to when his teeth started to chatter. They were both so focused on the conversation they were having they had forgotten how serious the weather was getting around them. The car was off and slowly becoming just as cold as it was outside, it only protected them from the snow and wind, but not the temperature.

The look he gave her let her know exactly what she needed to, that he was in.

“What now?” he asked.

“We get your car started,” she answered.