Chapter 1
He left a one hundred dollar bill on the top of the TV. One hundred dollars. One hundred dollars after three years of marriage. Parting gift? It almost felt sleazy in a way. Thanks for the good time, your money is on the tv, peace out.
I was 19 when I got married, there's a lot of pressure to get married when you live in the south and are having premarital sex or as the "congregation" calls it, "living in sin". I scoff at the thought of that fallacy now, because more times than not a young couple is set up for failure. Nineteen year old's should be doing nineteen year old things and getting married is not one of them.
Shortly after, when I finally accepted that, that part of my life was over I found myself in working as a waitress in Myrtle Beach, SC. And when I came in for my very first shift, I saw him, his name was Andrew he was the "cool guy" the guy everyone wanted to be around, girls loved him, his personality was magnetic, his energy electric. I was 22, with low self esteem and I needed him to want me, so that I could feel worthy. He took notice of me too, eventually and introduced me to cocaine. We were in my car, because of course this magnetic personality had no license or car, when he took out a little white packet of cocaine, he gently pulled my face close to his, told me to open my mouth, close my eyes and to breathe in when he said to. In ready position, he said "breathe in" and I did as he blew cocaine gently off of his hand into my face like dust; it tickled my nose and mouth, and in that moment I felt worthy.
