Chapter 1
Gracie lived with Smoke and Wine. Smoke was her new daddy, but she didn’t understand why, she likes her old daddy much better. Well, she couldn’t remember him, but if she could, she was sure she’d prefer him.
Gracie had just started school. Smoke didn’t want her to go, but the people with the big words said she had to. When she came back, Wine was gone. She left a lot and would be gone for a long time, coming back when the sun said goodnight to Gracie. It was just Gracie and Smoke when she was gone. Gracie didn’t like when it was just Gracie and Smoke.
When Gracie got back, Dog was happy to see her. She liked dog, and when she was alone with Smoke, Dog would take care of her. Smoke called her, like he did to Dog, to come. He was sat on the big chair, where he always was, staring at the picture box, making foggy air. It made Gracie cough to breathe his air. She quickly walked to smoke; she knew what would happen if she was too slow.
When smoke saw her, he smiled a black and yellow smile, like the poisonous caterpillar in the garden. He held his arms out. He wanted to hold Gracie. She had to let him. He pulled her onto his lap and made her stay. Dog stared, but he also knew not to make Smoke angry.
The people on the picture box started to shout. It made Gracie scared. Shouting meant she would be punished. But why? She did what smoke wanted.
“What’s wrong?” Smoke asked, already angry.
“Am I in trouble?” Gracie asked. She didn’t want to be. They would punish her. Punishing hurt.
Smoke told Gracie, “be quiet”. He started stroking her hair, like she did to Dog. Gracie wanted to escape to her colourful world, of princesses who were strong, angles who looked like aliens, and frogs who could talk. But Smoke pulled her back. He snaked his arms around to grab Gracie where she didn’t like him to.
She knew daddy’s weren’t meant to touch there, especially to their little girls. She remembered at school when someone said naughty things to her first friend Hannah, she hit them and said to them to stop. It worked on the rude boys, maybe it would work on Smoke.
So, she tried. She flailed her arms and smacked his naughty snakes and shouted to stop. But his snakes held on tighter. He told her to be a good girl. He put one of his snakes on Gracie’s mouth. She couldn’t breathe now. The snake that was still touching her where she didn’t like grabbed on hard.
It stuck its big teeth in. Venom went through her whole body and spewed out her eyes, and ears, and mouth, but stayed stuck in her head, it made her head sick and sharp. The snake travelled down her arms, and legs, and her whole body. But it wasn’t her body anymore, it was Smokes now. He stole it from her.
It was later now Gracie was playing with Dog under smokes glass caged eyes. She heard Door slam. Door was warning her Wine was back. Smoke and Wine talked with big words that didn’t concern Gracie. Wine smiled at Gracie, a too big smile with too big eyes. Gracie didn’t want to speak; she knew Wine would see through her. Smoke told Gracie what would happen if anyone found out what the snakes did. So, she kept playing with Dog. She thought Smoke would want this, now Wine wouldn’t find out. But Smoke started saying the loud, scary words at her. These words joined the venom in her head and stuck inside. Her head was even sharper now, too full, but lonely.
Wine knew the loud words hurt Gracie because Smoke said them to her too. But she didn’t try to stop them. She shook her head and went to the kitchen to make dinner. Gracie followed her.
Smoke said loud words to Wine too, maybe she would understand. So, Gracie told Wine about the snakes and the venom and how the loud words hurt Gracie. Wine’s eyes started to rain. Gracie felt the venom start to drain. Wine was going to free them, and no snakes could get her. Then Wine’s big hands smacked the venom back into Gracie’s head, where it would live. She told Gracie: “never speak about your father like that again”.
Gracie’s head swirled with venom and sickness.
And now she knew she would never be free of the venom.
