Engraved
Sunday 15th of October 2000
Church was always compulsory,you could hear the tunes of the choir from a mile away , the deceit their voice holds. they are holier than the rest of us or that was what I was made to believe
" Niana it's time for church please get up" she says as she makes her normal rounds with her belt .
"Yes mother" I reply , I get up on my feet and pick out my best dress and combed my knotted hair and make it look as white as my colonial masters let me.
father came in with his already drunk state "hmm you look so pretty , who are you going to impress , a boy at church I presume ." He says in mockery.
" No , I just wanted to look pretty for God" I say in my lowest voice so he doesn't get aggrivated
" Did I ask you to speak , did I ask you to speak " he says while repeatedly hitting me , he took a knife from the cabinet and tried to stab me with it , I held that knife with every bone in my body.
He gave me a mark right on my face , everyone knew what was going on but it sure wasn't their business , the holiness they claim to have turns a blind eye when it's truly needed .
Monday 1st of November 2018
" What do you wanna do for your birthday Niana, me and the guys were thinking we should go to the club ." Andrew says trying to win me over with his very cute eyes .
"Andrew ,you know my stand on this ,I turn anew age every year but everything always stays the same ." I say with a sad voice I am truly not in the best position to celebrate a party.
“ok suit yourself but you know a pretty lady like you, shouldn't spend your birthday alone ” he finally says before walking away over to his desk
Only if he knew what really goes on in my brain , he would never ask my about such things .
November 1st , 2000
Today was my birthday , even though the scars weren't fully healed. My mother said not to tell anyone so I was rather quiet about it
" Hmm my daughter is finally 8 , hmmm I remember when you were one " she says as if that could pay for the pain I felt , I hate , I hate him, I hate him .
I never want to see that man again , he put us in debt and surely makes my life a living hell, you don't wanna know
" Nandi get your sister some candy would you?" She says as if that could also pay the price , why is everyone simply trying to buy my silence.
"Mother , mother I never asked for candy." I say in anger “i never wanted anything” I say before I look up , he is back she says he is here to apologize but am to scared to wait and see as I run out the door to the streets of the suburb
