My sexuality
I never said I was a lesbian or bisexual, I don't like to be labeled. But of course, when someone asks me I always say I'm straight. When I imagine dating my best friend I see gay picnic dates and us writing each other poems. I see us painting each other's nails and doing each other's make-up (you know the picture fellow lesbians) I get so jealous when I see her with Josh (her boyfriend) but I hide it well.
My boyfriend is supposed to be coming over today and lately, Logan's been making me gag. The things he says or does just pisses me off for no reason. I feel bad telling him I love him when I don't. I know he's cheating on me but I don't care. It's Malia I want. I was laying on my bed writing a poem when Logan walked in. All he wanted to do was have sex. He grabbed my waist and got over the top of me, "Hey baby" I should get an oscar the way I acted
"Hey babe" he began kissing my neck and undoing my flannel. "Wait Logan," I said slightly pushing him away. He did a deep sigh, "What are you on your period?" he asked. Even his touch turned me off. "No I'm not but I'm not really in the mood" he gave me puppy dog eyes, "Come on baby, I'm horny" he started to rub on my thighs. Of course, I gave in but not because I was starting to get turned on by him. I gave in because I felt bad that I was stringing him along just to be left in the end. He had his five minutes of fame and he was done for the day.
He fell asleep and when he woke up he got a call from Josh. I was in the bathroom but I heard the conversation because Logan was incredibly loud. I stopped to listen to their conversation but that shit got boring so I got in the shower and began to zone out. I started to think about showering with Malia. We had bubble baths together but that was when we were little girls. That was back when we didn't have anything growing on our chests or our behinds. I haven't seen Malia naked since I was eight and at that time I felt no attraction to her.
I imagined Malia and me in the shower now and how awkward it'd be, well at least for her. If we were in the shower I'd grab her waist and hold her. My imagination started to feel a little real. I felt hands on my waist and it wasn't my imagination. I turned around and saw Logan.
I'm not going to lie Logan looked good. He is a tall, brown-skinned, brown-eyed, nice smile, strong young man. Logan is very handsome. He is a football player and I can see why a lot of girls want him. "We need to get ready, Josh invited us to go to the movies with him and Malia" my mood suddenly got better. Logan and I did a little kissing in the shower and he fingered me but after that, we quickly got dressed and left.
We went to the movies to see Smile and when we got there I saw Malia, my mind was making it seem like she was the only one there. She had on ripped black skinny jeans and an oversized hoodie that I gave her. Her hair was in a ponytail and her edges were laid to perfection. The second she saw me her face lit up and she went to hug me. We hugged for about two minutes because we hadn't seen each other in a week. "Girl I missed you," Malia said while touching my hair. My body tingled all over. "I missed you more, how was your trip?" her family took a trip to Georgia and took Josh along.
"It was amazing. I forgot how beautiful Georgia is. I saw my nana and all of my cousins and my family loved Josh" I wasn't surprised. Josh was the all-American boy and was easy to like. "Monse, Malia come on" Josh called. We watched the movie and Malia and I sat next to each other. The movie was scary and she grabbed my hand and didn't let it go until it was over. I felt special because she grabbed my hand instead of her boyfriend's. I felt as though she liked me but I know she didn't. Maybe all of this shit was in my head.
