Life

I am here to stay.

Listen, listen, have you heard.

A Somali is in town, he is here to conquer.

Maths is his friend, life is his lover.

He smiles with penny, humble with a billion.

You want a Job, he wants life.

You want money, he wants legacy.

He walks to the mosque, runs to the school.

He wants to own life, not just live it.

His wife is clever, mother’s brave, sister’s funny.

He is here to stay, he is here to stay.

Listen, listen have you heard.

A Somali is in town.

That’s me, the Somalian.

I had a gun for breakfast, division for lunch, tribe for supper.

I ran, I jumped, hopped on a plane, chasing life.

Life came in plenty, In Europe, In America, In Australia there was life.

Money was powerful; food was tasty, oxygen was sweet.

I found life.

You said do that, mother said do this, teacher said do this.

I was not confused, I was elated.

Opportunity every corner, success in every mirror, life in every book.

I found the dream, I found the life, I found the success.

That’s me, the Somalian.

What the fuck do we do?

f your Muslim you get killed

If your Mexican you get the wall

If your black you get the bullet

So what the fuck do we do?

My name is tripped by terrorism

My skin is slapped by the ban

My religion is chased by death

My color hunted by the bullet

My reflection is blocked

Thanks to the fucking wall

Brainless.

The air is cold, the wind

Howls, the time screams, the

Earth breathes, a life is leaving

A soul is losing, a mind is fleeing,

Something is happening, death

Is beating insanity, or God is

Defeating satan, but I can’t feel it,

I can’t feel it.

My heart pumps,

My blood boils, my soul

My soul, do I

Have a soul? Do

I have soul? God.

The minutes are turning,

Morning is leaving, night

Is late, or is it me,

Unable to feel human,

Spitting out oxygen, cursing

My pillow, why doesn’t it

Scream? Why? I sleep on

It every night, every day,

Or has it forgotten what pain is?

There is mum

Rushing in, with a smile

For a face, love

On her eyes, care on her lips,

And motherhood on her swagger,

‘Your late for school,’ she reminds

Me, opening the dry wailing

Curtains, they can see my

Pain, fighting to keep

My brain, but for her,

Love is the answer

And care is the medicine.

But my brain is packing, my soul

Is angry.

Cells are evacuating,

Blood is rushing, because typhoon

Of insanity is coming.

I want to tell her, I want to

Explain, I want to sing it,

I want to recite it, but I can’t

I can’t tell a mother, your

Son is not your son, your son

Is flesh, and bones but brainless, your

Son is there, but he is possessed

By forces of unseen.

I want to apologise for being

A dead walking human, I want to apologise

For seeing the world as an angry

Bird, I want to apologise for

Running from them, shadows

Of the unknown, voices dancing

Teasing and taunting up there, but how?

I am brainless,

I have a brain, but it’s not mine,

I have a brain, but I pay rent,

I have a brain, but

It never obeys the master.

What do you do

When your in the cracks of the earth?

Do you pray? Do you cry? Or fight

To be human for another day.

Smiling like an angel

She leaves, closing the door

She is proud, her son

The pride of her name, apple of her

Is finishing school, about to conquer earth

But little does she know?

I am there, but not

There, the

Sympathetic cosy duvet

Hugs me, saying

It’s the will of the lord

The will of the lord,

What lord? One that left

You, dangling from

Branches of insanity

They mock,

Boiling my blood,

As anger tears

My veins apart, ready

For vengeance.

They have my brain

But mock my religion

How dare they?

‘You have ten minutes,’

She calls out,

My mother, but

Moving, getting

Out of bed, only

The lord can help me.

Ding, time calls me,

Bed is restless, duvet

Is relentless, they all want me out,

Throw out the ghost, they chant,

But how do I move?

Am living but am brainless.

Why Aleppo?

BOOM! Death has arrived.

The gun spoke, the walls have collapsed.

Mother wails, sister cries.

Bones smash, neck breaks, father smiles.

He sees God, he sees heaven.

But why? Why? we’re innocent.

Brother crawls, dust blinds him.

he can’t move, boulder tore his soul.

His leg is trapped, his mind is dead.

Life leaves him, death teases him.

He was a student, he was a son, he was a brother

boulder doesn’t care, his screams can’t be heard.

But why? Why? we’re innocent.

Oh Aleppo, Oh Aleppo.

Save us, and save yourself.

Rescue us, and rescue yourself.

History laughs, statistics welcome us.

Death is so warm, Oh Aleppo, If I die,

You stay alive. You honour us,

In the future and remember us,

with smile and honour.

We were victims of time,victims of war,

victims of death, and victims of anarchy.

Remember us, and ask, why did they corrupted our homeland.

Insanity.

Mother wanted daughters, father well

The future never wanted him.

Life is ruthless, love is expensive.

The morning is angry, the night is cunning.

Life is pushing, pushing me hard against the wall.

I am losing my breath, my grip is loosening.

What I know is gone. What I don’t know exists.

Well then study they say. I studied –

Mastering money, befriending risk, defeating

Ignorance, but why is

Life still pushing me.

It left the city, it left the streets

Entered my home, turning it from

Home to a house,

from a house to the wild.

The rules are simple

Fight for what you want.

I am a lion by day, battling the crazy hyena,

Punching the voices in my head,

Tricking the running shadow after me,

While my mother is my mother,

Afraid of reality because it’s her son

Losing the grip on life, while life

Continues, leaving the lazy behind,

The crazy in between,

My reflection is my worst nightmare

My shadow is my worst enemy

My voice is my worst worker

My brain is my only friend

Only friend

Only friend

Fleeing from the destruction of insanity,

Scared of the doctor,

Paranoid of the advisor.

Am I dying or is insanity winning.

Punch that wall.

The morning is new, the day is fresh

My heart is cold, my body is shivering

My blood is boiling, and I want to do

One thing. Punch that wall.

Punch that wall to forget yesterday

Punch that wall to clean the sadness

Punch that wall to beat pain

Punch that wall to meet

The human who smiles

The human who never worries,

But a dream is for the normal

Reality is for the poor

Cracking my fists,

Smashing the brick,

Tearing the paint off,

But a wall never listens,

A wall only stands

Wanting to help

But never has the soul to help

Wanting to blow the sadness away

But never has the arms to act,

But listening is for those

Who know tomorrow,

Live today,

Never worrying about next week,

I continue punching,

I punch to find normal

I punch to take a joke

I punch to smile

I punch to fix

The broken brain

The possessed emotions,

But a thousand punches

Will never break him

That ugly truth

Waiting for me

Questioning tomorrow

Painting HE IS CRAZY on the universe.

Showing me smile is expensive

Laughter is priceless

And normal is never on the menu.

Whispers of the heart.

Is a sin to tell you I love you.

Is a crime to say I want you,

Is wrong to whisper I need you,

But Is hard not to.

Want the angel in you,

Love the sweetness on you

Whisper to the animal in you,

Commit the sin to get the heaven in you.

Word’s aren’t enough.

Do you love me she asked?

I kissed her.

Do you want me she asked?

I hugged her.

Am I enough she asked?

I picked her up, looking into her eyes.

I spelt, I love you with my eyes

Spelt You’re my queen with my lips

Wrote am yours in the air

As she landed in my arms

I brought the moon for her

Moved the mountains for her

Painting on the universe

I love you

But words aren’t enough

I want you

But actions aren’t enough,

Because there is love

And then there is you.

They told me, they never told me, I am telling you.

They told me to live

But live how,.

They told me to learn

But learn how.

They told me to grab life

But grab what.

They told me to learn to be successful

But the books are bleak,

And how do I learn

They told me, they told

But never showed me how.

They never told me life was cruel

The rain was a punishment

The time was killer

The hour was disease

They never told me mum was so cold

She chose

She chose her kids

Asking God

Why he gave her the rest,

They never told me

The mirror would disagree

My color would be my enemy

My religion would be my rival

They never told me

That you can’t reason

You can reason with animals

But you can never reason

With a human who can see

But has no sight

A human who can hear

But doesn’t listen

They never told me

The secrets of life

Being burnt by your dreams

Education becoming your illness

To stop you from your goal

They never told me

Your enemies would be your friends

Your friends would be your nightmare

While your nightmare is your teacher

Teaching you what

But never how

Because how is a secret

And he doesn’t want you achieving

Because he lost in life

Lost in his future

While betrayed by his present

And ridiculed by his past

They never told me

The code to life

The code to success

The code to living

Not just being alive

Because who knows the code

We all guess everyday

Some clever than the rest

Some keener than the rest

Some more curious than the rest

They never told me

They never told me anything

But lies

Because they were born In lies

Lived a lie

And died lying

Because they never found the truth

And no one ever told them.

So I am telling you today

Your life is your instrument

So learn it to win

Learn it to succeed

Because your life maybe a guitar

And his life maybe a piano

So why listen to him

Why let him teach you

How to play a guitar

And kick you out of the class of success

When he failed to play his instrument

And threw his life in the bin.

So I am telling you life is yours

School is a tool

So use it but don’t learn it

Use it to succeed

Not to live life

Let it be a stepping stone

Not a stone to live your life by

I am telling you today

Use advice as a tool

Not as a rule

Because the advice

Has layers

Layers that hate you

And small thin layer

That will help you

So use it

And find that layer

Because that is yours

And will help you succeed.

I am telling you today

You are you

Your life is yours

Life is for you

Ready to listen

So speak

And write

And dance

Your will on life

Because life is yours

Till you lose it

Till the tyres come off

Till the grip loosens

And then you float

And pray to gravity

To let you stay on earth

Because the land despises you

And the elements are disgusted by you.

I am telling you your book is clean

Your story is starting

Your future is waiting for you

To write it

In your present

Because you can’t live in a house

Without a foundation.

So write that future

With your choices of today

And actions of tomorrow

And say no to that door

That’s blocking you from your life

That’s blocking you from you true self

Because time is ticking

And life keeps going,

So decide to be the one that is told the lies

Or the one that sees the truth

And paves the way

For the rest.

That’s what am telling you today

Because I wasn’t told.