Chapter 1
SIMONE
The bright neon lights of Fifth Avenue Club come into view as Brandon and I leave campus grounds and wait for the pedestrian light to allow us to cross. People line the sidewalk in front of the bar, clearly hoping they can get into the club when they probably have a slim chance. Not just anyone can get into the club on a busy Friday night. Luckily for me, Brandon works here and he has VIP status.
My nerves are all over the place and the beeping sound of the pedestrian crossing light only makes my heart race harder. I haven’t seen Hayden Lee since high school, and I wonder if he’ll even care that I came tonight. We were best friends and inseparable since grade school and many people thought we’d eventually end up together. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Hayden in that way, it was that I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. He asked me to ditch college and join him on the road with his band, but I couldn’t. Harsh words were shared between the two of us and we haven’t spoken since.
The moment I saw the event poster on the brick wall of Fifth Avenue for Hayden’s band, I knew in my heart that I needed to come tonight and try to mend the friendship that I miss so much. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him, and wonder if I still mean the same to him.
“Brandon!” The big, bodybuilder looking guy at the rope waves us over.
“Jeez, take it easy on the ’roids, am I right?” I joke so only Brandon can hear me.
He chokes back a laugh and approaches the guy who seriously looks like he’s on more steroids than a bodybuilder wanting to get as large as he can. Veins bulge from nearly every visible surface of skin and his neck is the size of my thigh.
“Got any room in the club for me and my girl tonight?”
The bouncer scans his eyes appreciatively over my body before he winks and unhooks the red velvet rope. I tug at my little black leather jacket and scurry up behind Brandon as he leads the way inside.
I don’t mind being checked out from time to time but that guy gave me the serious creeps. If Brandon hadn’t agreed to come with me, I probably wouldn’t have come at all. It isn’t like me to go out drinking and I never go alone.
“So, why is it so important that we come here tonight?” Brandon shouts over the rock music that blares through the club.
“To see an old friend of mine,” I shout back.
I haven’t told Brandon much about Hayden, knowing he’d go into protective mode and tell me to forget about the guy. Brandon and I met during freshman year and instantly hit it off. He was almost a replacement for Hayden’s place in my life, whether I like to admit that or not. I always got along with guys more than girls so it didn’t surprise me that my first friend at college was a dude.
Brandon is a pretty-boy and not my type at all, but we often play a couple when we go to parties or bars. We always have each other’s back, and tonight is no different. I need him more than ever and hope he’ll understand why.
“Okay? So where is this old friend of yours?”
Just as Brandon asks, the club lights dim and the pounding of a steady drum beat fills the club before the crowd goes mad. I turn and stare at the stage as a single beaming light illuminates the guy at the mic: Hayden Lee.
His eyes are closed as both hands grasp the mic and then he begins to sing. A deep, raspy voice fills the room as the crowd quiets to hear his words. They’re sad lyrics of loss and pain, and I find that I can’t pull my gaze from him. His voice sends shivers down my spine, and I can’t seem to pull my gaze away from him. He’s more mesmerizing than I remember.
Three years apart makes him a stranger to me as I take in his appearance. The boy I knew no longer exists behind all black attire straight out of a rockstar’s magazine. His hair is much shorter than I remember, and his bare arms and neck are covered in tattoos. The urge to trace each one as we lie naked in bed together takes over my thoughts.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Those are dangerous thoughts that I’ve never had over Hayden before. What’s gotten into me?!
A smoking hot boy turned into a sexy man; that’s what.
“He’s up there,” I finally reply to Brandon’s question.
He stares open mouthed at the stage before he blows out a whistle and shakes his head.
“That’s who you’re here to see?”
I nod as my mouth instantly turns dry. It has felt like forever since I’ve last seen him, and now that I have, I don’t know if I have the guts to speak to him.
The song breaks into hardcore metal as Hayden’s death scream shakes the building, and the crowd goes berserk. I’m not normally into music like this, but it’s actually really good. It sounds like Slayer and I Prevail had a baby, and I like it. A lot.
My eyes are glued to Hayden’s every movement as he moves and jumps around the stage, screaming his lungs out into the mic before the song mellows out again. The sounds of shrieking women don’t go unnoticed as my eyes move to the front row. They’re all screaming and reaching out for him as he winks down at them.
I guess things never change, huh? He was always a ladies-man and loved to flirt like it was his day job. A moment of pure jealousy races through my veins before I shut it down. Where these dangerous thoughts are coming from is beside me. I’ve always been attracted to Hayden, but I never allowed it to go any further. Now I question why I didn’t pounce when I had the chance.
“Is he an old boyfriend or something?” Brandon asks and I don’t miss the tone of curiosity and jealousy there.
Brandon hasn’t shown any romantic interest in me during our three years of friendship. We’re pretty inseparable but he never makes me feel like he wants me in that way. Hayden, on the other hand, made me question our friendship on a daily basis. If he wasn’t making jokes about getting into my pants, he was making them about what our babies would look like. It was all very confusing.
“No, just a really good friend that I haven’t seen since high school.”
Turning, Brandon waves down the bartender and orders a few beers. My eyes are still glued to Hayden on the stage, and I’m glad to be back here in the shadows where he can’t easily point me out. I’m not ready to confront him yet, and need a bit of liquid courage before doing so.
Several songs and a few beers later, Hayden and his band leave the stage before a filler band comes on to play in their absence. I know this is the perfect time to make my way backstage to find him, but I’m still too nervous even after a few drinks. Maybe I can’t do this at all. It was stupid of me to come tonight, wasn’t it?
“We just going to sit here all night or…?” Brandon asks as he nudges me.
I almost forgot that he was there. Sitting here all night actually sounds way better than hunting Hayden down and trying to apologize, hoping he’ll forgive me so we can mend the friendship I miss more than anything.
“No, I’ll be back in a minute.” I slam the last of my beer down before I slide from the bar stool and head toward the stage.
There are no bouncers keeping anyone from slipping behind the black curtains so I make my way through effortlessly. The back is exactly how you’d imagine it. People milling around like chickens with their heads cut off, musicians line the tight hallway with guitars or drumsticks in their hands, and beautiful women wait their turn to be noticed by said musicians.
I almost fit in with my attire as I search for the familiar face I haven’t seen up close for over three years. My attire makes me look like a groupie and I instantly want to tuck my tail and run. Why I decided to wear my tightest black dress tonight paired with an equally tight leather jacket that left nothing to the imagination is beside me.
“Hey, what are you doing out here all alone?”
I spin around and come face to face with a very attractive guy in black ripped jeans and a leather jacket with no shirt beneath it. His long dark hair is currently pulled back into a man-bun at the base of his skull, and I instantly imagine what it would be like to see it down before I stick my hands in it.
“I, um, was looking for, um—” I stutter over my words like a damn fool, and the hot guy is clearly judging me by his expression.
He chuckles. “Who ya looking for, sweetheart?”
“Hayden Lee,” I burst out before I lose the chance to do so.
His brows shoot up in surprise before he shakes his head. “Such a shame. They’re always looking for the lead singer. I was hoping the ladies would realize the drummer is where it’s at.” He holds up his hands and winks at me. “We’ve got very strong hands.”
I nearly choke on my spit as my eyes widen. His hands do look extremely strong, and thoughts of him grabbing my throat as he pounds into me are relentless. I seriously need help. I’m a virgin—these thoughts shouldn’t be invading my mind!
“Hayden! We’ve got a groupie out here for ya, brother!” The hot drummer shouts.
I flinch as I shake my head.
“No, I’m not a—”
“Is she hot?!” A familiar deep, raspy voice shouts back.
“Smokin’!” The drummer states as his eyes slide appreciatively down my body.
If I wasn’t here for Hayden and my nerves weren’t all over the place, I would have been flattered.
Hayden comes out of the room laughing but as soon as he sees me, his smile fades to a scowl. He looks as if he’s seen a ghost and freezes in his spot. The look of surprise in his gaze quickly melts into anger before he crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the door frame.
“Hi Hayden,” I reply shyly.
Seeing him up close nearly takes my breath away. His sharp jaw is clean-shaven to the skin, but I can see traces of growth that would make the perfect five o’clock shadow. Two tattoos are on each side of his neck, disappearing into his shirt and also reaching up to his jaw. His dark, almost black eyes are the same as I always remembered, piercing into my soul.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” He pushes away from the door and stalks right up to me, getting in my personal space before he circles me. “Are you lost, Simone? Because this train left three years ago and isn’t taking on any new passengers.”
I scoff. Leave it to him to still be this cocky asswipe. Things never change, do they?
“I’m not looking for a ticket. Maybe a refund? I think you owe me that much.”
The drummer blows out a whistle and holds his hands up before he walks away. He clearly doesn’t want to be in the middle of this, and he’s wise for ditching out. Hayden can be a real drama queen, and I know this isn’t going to be easy.
Hayden guffaws as he throws his head back, and my eyes go straight to his Adam’s apple. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to lick and kiss that before I trail up to his ear. No! Focus, Simone!
“Owe you? I’m pretty sure you have it backwards, babe.”
He leans back up against the door frame as his eyes take me in. I can almost feel the burning sensation on my skin from his gaze. Does he like what he sees? I’m not the same Simone from high school, and he’s getting a little peep show as we speak.
“The way I remember it was—”
“You told me to get bent and that you never wanted to see me again,” he cuts me off. “Yet here you are.”
The irritation I feel makes me want to snap, but that’s what he’s expecting. The old Simone would have pitched a bitch fit in front of all these strangers and not gave a damn, but I’m not that girl anymore.
“Suit yourself, Hayden. I came to say hi and save face with you, but that—”
“And what makes you think I want to save face?”
“Would you stop cutting me off?! If you would just shut up for five seconds, you’d learn that I came to apologize! Why do you have to be so damn difficult all the time?”
The smirk that tugs at his lips immediately cools the angry inferno blazing inside of me. There’s nothing sexier than Hayden’s smirk and it’s clear how much it affects me all these years later; the bastard!
“You’re still sexy when you’re angry.”
I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest. Is he seriously pulling this old game on me again? This confirms that things truly never really do change. Hayden Lee will always be the hopeless flirt he always was.
“Don’t patronize me, Hayden. I’ve given you my apology and now I’m leaving.”
I spin on my high heels, whip my long balayage style hair over my shoulder, and storm for the door that has a red exit sign above it. Hayden Lee can kiss my ass.
But before I can even make it to the door, a strong hand grabs my arm and spins me around before I slam right into his chest. He’s harder than I remember, and when our gazes lock, my heart hammers in my chest. Why does he have to be so good looking? Can’t he at least be a little bit ugly so I have a reason to hate him?!
“I would never patronize you, babe. Why don’t we both get some fresh air and cool off, huh?” He nods toward the exit door behind me.
This is what I’m here for, right? I came to talk to Hayden and now I can, so why do I want to tuck tail and run again? Because I know his presence alone can make my brain stop working.
With his hand on the small of my back, he leads me through the exit door and into the crisp, autumn air. It stings against my heated flesh and instantly freezes me, making me have to tug my jacket close.
The heavy metal stage door slams shut behind us, making me jump. Hayden leans against the brick wall, sticking a cigarette in his mouth before he lights it. The orange hue of the flame lights his features up in a magical way and I can’t stop from staring at him.
“That habit will kill you,” I point out.
He inhales a deep hit, making the end burn cherry red before he blows it out, shrugging his shoulders.
“As if I care.”
That isn’t something the Hayden I knew would have said. He always had a smart remark for everything, but this seems deeper than that. The furrow of his brow and the lack of his famous smirk worries me.
“You okay, Hayd?”
Now the smirk is back and a playful gleam fills his eyes as he takes another puff of his smoke.
“I’ve never been better, sweetheart. But you wouldn’t know that, would you?”
Oh, so he wants to play it like that, does he? I’m not the only one who walked away three years ago. He could have tried to fix this between us too, but he didn’t.
“I’m sure your STD report would say otherwise,” I snap back. He isn’t the only one who can make shitty remarks.
He blows out the smoke from his lungs with a laugh, shaking his head.
“I can assure you that I don’t have an STD report.” His eyes slide down my body, making my knees weak in the way his gaze burns. “But I can’t say the same for you. Did you finally lose your virginity to a college boy in slacks? Was he any good?”
If he was close enough to slap, he’d feel it for a week. My virginity is none of his business, and I don’t think his vulgar statement deserves a reply so I keep my mouth shut. He definitely isn’t the Hayden I remember, so why do I like it?
“No comment, huh? Does that mean little miss perfect still holds her virginity?”
He pushes away from the brick wall and stalks right up to me, pinning me between him and the cold railing at my back. My chest rises and falls as I stare up into his dark gaze, almost waiting for him to lower down and brush his perfectly plump lips against mine.
“Actually, my boyfriend is at the bar right now,” I lie through my teeth, knowing that Brandon is probably still at the bar drinking. He always has my back in this type of situation, and I know it won’t be any different now.
Hayden’s single brow cocks up in amusement as he chuckles. “You have a boyfriend? Someone was finally good enough to hold that title?”
I scoff. “You seem to think I act as if I’m some perfect little princess.”
“You’re not? That’s news to me.”
“As a matter of fact, I’m not. I’ve popped lots of cherries in college, sweetheart.” I mock him with his own words, and the smile on his lips tells me that he likes it.
His eyes fall to my cleavage before he places a hand on my hip, digging into my flesh through the thin fabric of my dress. Every hair on my body stands on end as my mouth parts and several breathy pants come out. I didn’t mean for them to, but his hand on my hip does things to me that are unrecognizable to even me.
“Such a shame,” he whispers before he leans forward and brushes his lips against my neck. “I would have loved to have been your first—seeing your body shake beneath mine as I sink my cock deep into your sweet, tight pussy while your nails dig into my back. You would have felt what it was like to be with a real man and I’d have never let you go.”
Jesus Christ.
His words in my virgin ears soak my innocent panties. Even for Hayden, those are the sultriest words he’s ever said to me. He used to joke about us being together and having kids, but he never said things like this to me before. Why does my skin feel like a million needles are poking me? And why does my vagina have a heartbeat? Is this normal?
“You’re nothing but a boy compared to my boyfriend, sweet little Hayden. Would you like to meet him so you can take notes?”
He watches me for the longest moment, digging his fingers harder into my hip before he steps away from me and takes another drag from his cigarette.
“Lead the way, sweetheart.”
Fuck. I didn’t think he’d actually agree to this. Well, here goes nothing.
