The Wizard of Bodybuilding

“The Wizard of Bodybuilding in the Merry ole Land of Orange”

Introduction

This is a unique, entertaining story in which muscular guys really shine in big, wonderful, and special ways as they do some completely “G” rated, fun, comical clowning around with a heterosexual unmuscular guy to show the unmuscular guy how to feel muscular and strong and also show the unmuscular guy that they are friendly, fun loving, plain, regular human guys and not super human supermen who the unmuscular guy would feel very inferior to and afraid of. This story’s readers will be treated to talk and actions in numerous parts of the story which are so similar to talk and actions in the “The Wizard of Oz” movie musical.

(chapter 1) A Big No Brainer

Paul’s story started in the town of Chapel Hill in the County of the Land of Orange, Orange County, in the state of North Carolina. It was an early morning, beautiful, low temperature, low humidity Saturday in early May. Paul was wanting to take an early morning walk. Paul had just left his condo and walked across the Old Durham Chapel Hill Rd to where he started his walk on the huge, delightful, beautiful landscape surrounding the immense very modern Blue Cross Blue Shield headquarters building.

As he walked he was singing softly “We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of bodybuilding in the merry ole Land of Orange. We’ll find he is a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was. If ever oh ever a wiz there was the wizard of bodybuilding is one because, because, because, because, because, because of the wonderful things he does. We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful------”When Paul came to the landscape around the end of the building, he suddenly came to an abrupt halt of his walking and singing because of the sight he was seeing a couple hundred feet in front of him.

The sight he was seeing was a huge muscular guy who looked like a college or pro football lineman who had gotten chiseled down enough to reveal some definite muscularity. Wearing only workout shorts and workout shoes, he was standing at one of a number of outdoor exercise stations. This exercise station had two strong wooden posts about six feet in height rising vertically out of the ground. Attached solidly on the top of each vertical post was a horizontal wooden post with two iron bars sticking out from the horizontal post. The space between the bars was about the width of a man’s shoulders.

This huge guy facing the exercise station suddenly jumped up and grabbed with each hand each of the iron bars. He ended up quickly turning himself around facing away from the exercise station. Then he started doing dips with ease.

Upon seeing the huge guy, several thoughts and emotions were in Paul’s mind. One big emotion in him was the great, stratospheric, high amount of innocent, harmless childlike excitement of a little boy very excited at seeing this Superman, and wanting to hang out some with him.

Next, a very negative emotion in him was the feeling of very intense inferiority to this muscular guy and also being very envious of him having such big muscles. Paul, a bony, skinny, weak, wimpy guy, felt he was absolutely nothing compared to this muscular hunk guy. Another very negative emotion in Paul was that he had real physical fear of this muscular super strong guy. This guy was so big and strong, he could so easily kill or severely injure Paul.

If Paul did end up going up to this guy, he would be so afraid of him and ill at ease that he would be almost speechless. Still another negative thought Paul had was this Superman guy would be really offended that a bony, skinny, weak, wimpy, old guy would bother him during his exercising. With a very irritated expression, the muscular Superman guy would then tell Paul quickly and curtly to “bug off”.

As Paul was still standing still, he noticed that something very unusual was happening to both the muscular guy and to himself. Because he was just like a very excited little boy Superman fan, Paul started to shrink in height. In a few moments, he had shrunk to the height of a little boy Superman fan wearing a little boy beanie cap and was pulling a little red wagon filled with toys. While all this was happening to Paul, a Superman suit came onto the muscular guy. The only thing missing from the Superman suit was the Superman cape.

Paul seeing all this happening to himself and to the huge muscular guy gave him encouragement to start walking again toward him. As he was continuing his walking, suddenly a big Superman cape from above and behind the Superman guy came to rest on and became securely attached to the shoulders of the Superman suit. Then immediately the top part of the cape got stuck on lots of jagged wood sticking out from the top part of the horizontal beam. As soon as the cape got stuck to the jagged wood, the stuck cape caused the Superman guy to lose his grip on the iron bars and his huge, heavy body was just dangling in the air held up by the cape caught on the jagged pieces of wood.

What Paul just saw happen to the muscular guy really terrified him because he was sure the monstrous guy knew that the Superman suit coming on him was caused by him. The Superman guy would be really mad and angry at him. But much to Paul’s surprise and relief, the Superman guy didn’t look mad and angry at all. He just had a very bewildered look on his face. As Paul was seeing this really big guy dangling in the air, he was thinking that the Superman cape must be really strong to be able hold the really heavy Superman guy up in the air.

At that moment, I, Father Time, the writer of this story who is in Paul’s mind am telling Paul that his talking with this big hunk guy would be very similar to the talk between Dorothy and the scarecrow as they were meeting each other in “The Wizard of Oz” movie musical.

Dorothy asked without looking at the scarecrow: “Which way do we go?”

Paul asked without directing his question to the Superman guy: “Which way do we go?”

The muscular guy pointing to his left said: “Pardon me, that way is a very nice way.”

Paul immediately asked: “Who said that?”

Then the Superman guy pointing the other way said: “It’s pleasant down that way, too.”

Then with both arms crossed each other, he said: “People do go both ways.”

The Superman guy shaking his head from left to right and shaking it up and down.

Paul asked: “Are you doing that on purpose? Or can’t you make up your mind?”

The Superman guy said: “I can’t make up my mind because I don’t have a brain. I’m just like the title of this chapter "A Big No Brainer!” The public is convinced that hunk football jocks, bodybuilders, and other muscular guys don’t have brains.”

Paul said: “What you just said reminds me of an internet video of a professional bodybuilder who said that people look at him like he can’t get a word out. Then they are really surprised when they find out that the bodybuilder has a college degree.”

Paul asked: “How can you talk without a brain?”

The Superman guy said: “Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don’t they?”

Paul replied: “Yes, I guess you’re right. We haven’t met yet. My name is Paul.”

The Superman guy: “My name is Hank. Even though I’m not mad at you, I’m not feeling at all well with me just hanging here.”

Paul replied: “That must be really uncomfortable. Let me help you get down.”

Hank said: “That’s very kind of you, very kind.”

Paul said: “Since I’m so short at my little boy height, I can’t see how to get you down.”

Hank said: “I’m not bright about doing things, but go get that long stick over there.”

After Paul got the stick, Hank continued: “Now push the end of the stick up under where the cape is caught on the wood splinters. After Paul pushed the stick hard against the wood splinters, suddenly the cape got totally loosened from the splinters enabling Hank to come back to standing on the ground.

Hank exclaimed: “It’s good to be back standing on the ground.”

. He then bent his huge body down to where he was giving gentle thank you pats with his really big hand to Paul’s little shoulder and back.

He said: “Thank you, little fellow, for getting me free and back standing on the ground. Now we need to come up with a way to get the Superman suit off me and get you back to your adult height. As I’ve said before, I’m not too bright about doing things. Let’s try something really simple and easy. You know I couldn’t come up with anything complicated! Paul, your little boy hand is too small to grab my whole hand or even all my fingers. So grab hold to my index finger and my middle finger. We’re going to do what is called a role play during which you pretend to be really super strong and I pretend to be super weak. When I say “go”, you start squeezing my two fingers really hard. “Go!”

As Paul started to squeeze really hard, he actually believed he was super strong. At the same time Hank was letting out a big roar of pretend pain which made Paul truly believe that Hank was a super weak completely human guy! In just several seconds, Paul stopped his squeezing and Hank stopped his yelling. Immediately, both guys broke into big time laughter! During their laughter, the Superman suit disappeared from Hank’s body, Paul returned to his adult height, and the little boy beanie and red wagon disappeared. As they were still laughing, both Hank and Paul did high fives with each other and did congratulatory light hits to each other’s shoulders.

Then they sang out:

“We have fun, fun, fun in our merry ole Land of Orange!!”

Paul exclaimed: “This is miraculous! It’s like magic!! Hank, this role play did a sensational job in getting me to fully humanize you! During the role play I was believing I was a really strong guy and you were a really weak human guy! Then all of our good old human laughter was like the “icing on the cake” of humanizing you! I’m seeing you as a friendly, smiling, laughing, fun loving, clowning around, easy going, plain, regular human guy! And the role play was just so much harmless, “G” rated fun. The very negative feelings I had as I was walking toward you are gone. Those negative feelings were feeling very inferior to you, feeling really envious of you, and being very scared of you.”

Hank suddenly having a very sad look come on his face asked: “Were you really afraid of me?”

Paul replied: “Yes, I was really afraid of you. Besides feeling all my life very inferior to and envious of muscular guys, I’ve also have felt very scared of them.”

With tears welling up in his eyes, Hank very sadly said: “Oh, out in public, my unsmiling, fierce looking face along with my really big, muscular body make people be afraid of me. I wish I could think of a way which would cause people not to be afraid of me.”

Paul joyfully said: “You have already thought of a way for me not to be scared of you. I know you doing role plays with others will cause them not to be afraid of you.”

Hank, with his sad, tearful look gone, happily exclaimed: “Well bust my buttons!! It’s great knowing that I had already thought of a way to make people not to be afraid of me!!”

Paul said: “With you thinking that you didn’t know a way to keep people from being scared of you, reminds me of an internet video I saw one time. The video showed a big bodybuilder standing on a city sidewalk. He was holding a big sign which on one side said “Bodybuilders Are Human”. Then the other side said “Hugs Appreciated”. The video showed people stopping and giving him hugs and even bear hugs. Hank, would you be willing to give a bear hug to bony, skinny, weak, wimpy, old man me?”

Hank immediately reached out his big, strong arms. Then they did manly bear hugs with each other.

Paul said: “The role play we did when I squeezed your index and middle fingers, I humanized your personality, your character, your person, but not your big muscles and great strength. Now let’s do another fun, harmless, “G” rated, playful role play which hopefully will humanize your big muscles and great strength. As we do the role play, I hope it will do something great and wonderful for me. During this role play I’ll be having pretend super strength as I squeeze your pretend super weak big, flexed biceps and you are yelling out in much pretend pain."

Paul continued: “As soon as muscular guys read that I want to squeeze a muscular guy’s flexed bis, lots of them will probably have big time “raised eyebrows” about them definitely not letting me do this with them. Those "raised eyebrows" muscular guys would be yelling: "We'll never let a guy squeeze our flexed bis!"

Paul said: “To encourage real live muscular guys to join with me in doing the fun role plays in this chapter and more fun clowning around told about in the Forest Theater Fun chapter, I want to tell you some interesting details about heterosexual me meeting a heterosexual muscular guy who realized I was a completely harmless muscle fan. He let me harmlessly touch and squeeze in “real hoot” fun, “G” rated ways his flexed bis and tris without me ever doing any muscle worship. In the This Is Your Future Life chapter, you’ll be reading interesting details how the muscular guy and I met and finding out about the fun harmless, “G” rated muscle activities we did during our fun hanging out times together."

Paul continued: “To further encourage muscular guys to contact me, I want muscular guys with "raised eyebrows" be sure to read the Forest Theater Fun chapter and the end of the This Is Your Future Life chapter. In these chapters they will be reading about really delightful, amusing, "real hoot" fun, "G" rated ways for Paul to be squeezing the flexed bis of real live muscular guys.

Paul continued:

" The following is what I recommend to muscular guys with “raised eyebrows”:

Read this entire story before casting any “no” vote about doing any clowning around with me.”

Paul continued: “So, Hank, with me having innocent boy like wonder of your huge flexed bis, let’s begin the role play.

"I squeeze a flexed bi here!" "OW! OW! OW!"

"I squeeze a flexed bi there!" "OW! OW! OW!"

"I squeeze both flexed bis!" "OW! OW! OW!"

“As the squeezing flexed biceps role play progresses, the absolutely wonderful, non-sexual, non-muscle worshiping sensation I get makes me magically feel like your flexed bis are in my arms which in turn makes me for the first time in my life to magically feel muscular and strong. All this makes me feel equal to you, not envious of you, and makes my self-esteem skyrocket to great heights. All this is really wonderful!!

“What I’ve said in the above paragraph is of such great importance that I will be repeating it several times during the rest of the story when I get to do more completely harmless, “G” rated, comical flexed muscle squeezing of real live muscular guys.”

After the role play, Hank and Paul are both rejoicing at the absolutely, wonderful, magical like happenings to Paul during and after the role play!

Then with arms across each other’s shoulders, they sang out: “We have fun, fun, fun in our merry ole Land of Orange!!”

Paul continued: “Hank, I want to tell you that I’m going to see the Wizard of Bodybuilding in our merry ole Land of Orange. I’m going to ask the wizard to do a miracle to enable me to humanize muscular guys, to enable me to not feel inferior to them, but to feel equal to them.”

Hank asked and exclaimed very excitedly: “You’re going to see a wizard?!?! Do you think I could go with you so he could give me a brain?”

Paul said: “It would be worth a try. We’re going to be seeing the wizard of bodybuilding in our merry Land of Orange”

Hank joyously exclaimed: “I’m going to see a wizard who will give me a brain! As we go, I won’t try to manage things because I don’t have a brain.”

Paul continued: “We won’t be going yet to see the wizard. When Dorothy and the scare crow left to go to the wizard, they walked really fast with big steps and their arms were swinging big really fast. So, here we go:

“We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of bodybuilding in our merry ole Land of Orange.

We’ll find he is a wiz of a wiz if a wiz there was;

If ever oh ever a wiz there was

The wizard of bodybuilding is one because

Because, because, because, because, because

Of the wonderful things he does!

We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of bodybuilding in our merry ole Land of Orange!"

They did high fives with each other and sang out: “We have fun, fun, fun in our merry ole Land of Orange!”

They were now standing next to a drainage ditch filled with rocks.

Hank bent down and picked up a palm sized rock. As he put the rock in Paul’s hand, he said to him: “I want you to squeeze the rock hard and tell me if you think this is a solid, hard rock.”

After Paul squeezed the rock for a few seconds, he said: “This definitely is one solid, hard rock.”

After Paul gave the rock back to Hank, he let it rest on his palm a couple of seconds. Then he folded his hand around the rock and started to squeeze. In a few seconds, a cracking sound was coming from Hank’s hand. In a few more seconds he opened his hand and let all the pieces of the completely crumbled rock fall to the ground.

Immediately, Paul with a look of absolute astonishment exclaimed like an owl: “Y---Y---You just crushed that rock with your b---b---bare hands!!!”

Then Paul fainted. Hank grabbed him, sat down on the grass with Paul sitting beside him and leaning against Hank’s upper torso. While still leaning against Hank’s upper torso, Paul started opening his eyes and asked him: “Was that for real you crushing that rock in your bare hand?”

Hank nodded yes and began: “In this story so far you have seen me play the role of Hank, the muscular jock. In this story Father Time has me also playing the part of Hercules Jr. in the land of the gods. I, Hercules Jr. was getting quite bored being up there with all the other gods and goddesses. I asked my father Hercules Sr. if I could go down to earth where I thought there would be a lot of activity that I could be a part of. Before I left, my grandfather Zeus told me if I got into any trouble down there that he, Grandfather Zeus, would be forced to throw one of his lightning bolts at me. When the lightning bolt would hit me, I would die instantly.”

Hank continued: “Paul, later in your story the mythical lightning bolt plays a very critical role. Father Time wouldn’t tell me what the lightning bolt’s critical role is later in your story. So, you, myself, and all the readers are wondering what the critical role is. Since I’ve been a really good guy so far in this story, I’m not worried about Grandfather Zeus throwing a lightning bolt at me.”

Some of you readers may realize that Hercules Jr. going to earth is so much like the “Hercules in New York” movie in which Hercules, played by Arnold Schwarzeneger got permission to go to New York.

Paul said: After finding out that you have super strength, I am starting to feel inferior to your big muscles and your super strength again. Is it OK with you for us to do more role plays so I can keep your big muscles and super strength humanized?”

Hank exclaimed enthusiastically: “That will be great!”

Paul excitedly burst out with: “First, we’ll do arm wrestling. Let’s get on our knees on opposite sides of this bench and grasp hands. Using my pretend super strength, I’m going to really enjoy putting your arm down!”

Hank put a huge amount of “ham” in all his screaming and trying to keep his arm from going down. As soon as his arm was down, they both erupted in big time laughter. They did fun high fives with each other. Paul and Hank sang out: “We have fun, fun, fun in our merry ole Land of Orange!”

Paul said: “For the next role play, Hank, I am doing a pretend super strength head lock hold on you. After Hank let out lots of screams of pretend pain, Paul stopped his pretend super strength hold with both guys letting out really big laughter. They did fun high fives with each other.

Then they sang out: “We have fun, fun, fun in our merry ole Land of Orange!”

Paul said: “Now we are doing a handshake role play with me having pretend super strength and you have pretend super weakness.” After some seconds of Hank screaming out as he was sinking to the ground in pretend great agony, Paul ended his pretend super strength hand squeeze. They both burst out laughing and did high fives with each other and did congratulatory hits to each other’s shoulders and backs. Then then sang: “We have fun, fun, fun in our merry ole Land of Orange!”

Paul said: “Next, with our arms high over our heads, we face each other. With your hands held in fists, I grab your fists, and using my pretend super strength I start pushing your hands, arms, and whole body down to the ground with you having pretend super weakness are yelling loudly trying to resist all my pretend super strength pushing you down.”

When the role play was over, they were laughing, did high fives, and sang out:

“We have fun, fun, fun in our merry ole Land of Orange!”

Paul exclaimed: “It surely is good getting your big muscles and great strength humanized.

Paul continued: “I hope real live muscular guys will get a “big kick” out of doing with me the “real hoot” fun, harmless role plays done by you and me in this chapter and more good, wholesome fun clowning around to be introduced later.”

Paul asked Hank: “Do you think we’ve had enough good dealings with each other, so that we can consider us to be buddies and pals with each other?”

Hank without saying another word, threw one of his big, powerful arms around Paul’s shoulders and said: “Paul, you can count on me always being your buddy and pal!

Then Paul threw his arm around Hank’s big shoulders showing that they are indeed good buddies and pals with each other.

While still having their arms around each other’s shoulders, Paul said: “Us being buddies and pals with each other reminds me of an article I read in a “Guidepost” Christian magazine. It was about a really strong, lasting friendship that developed between a huge, powerful pro football lineman and a frail, weak, much older guy. That sounds like us!”

Hank said in agreement: “You’ve got that right, good buddy!”

Paul said: “A magic lamp has to appear before we get transported to where we will meet our next buddy.”

With their arms still around each other’s shoulders, a magic lamp like from ancient Persia appeared on the ground. A magic genie came out of the lamp. When the lamp and genie disappeared in a couple seconds, Hank and Paul were magically transported to where they would meet their next pal.