What is your opinion?
Very good!
"The way you write is very blunt. There is a lot of “He said, she said”, and it soon becomes redundant and tasteless. Add more description behind the dialogue, so we can picture how each character interacts with the environment (and vice versa), and with each other. Readers love picturing what is happening, but this is difficult to achieve if there is no setting description. It will add a lot more substance and imagery to the story, and encourage analytical and critical thinking. In addition to that, focus on character-building. Each person was introduced by their name and profession, but I don't know their persona, and I would like to. It helps put myself in their shoes and really think deeply about who they are and what I think they'd say or do based on their individual personality. This is only the first chapter, so you've got time to build on this, but I would revise even this chapter to give the reader more. There is clear and concise description outside of the dialogue, and I really liked that. The flow of information is very steady and well-thought out, and the message is clear. I’m being reeled in. However, there needs to be a bit more world-building. I love the use of vocabulary. It is very fluid instead of repetitive. There are very few grammatical errors, but a bit of revision can fix the ones that are present. Overall, this is an exciting sci-fi story. It has so much potential. I can tell you are very knowledgable in space aeronautics and engineering, which gives this story so much more context to build from. Just make sure you are doing the building to expand the mind of the reader. You are very capable of this! I will be on the lookout for the next chapter."
A good start!
"This is a great start to a story. It has everything a story should have in its introduction. Characters, setting, the conflict established, all that good stuff. I love the plot you have going here, but I do have a few bits of constructive criticism. - The use of dialogue is good here, but the way the characters speak doesn't always sound natural. It's best to imagine your dialogue as real conversations, and think "how would this character communicate this?" It helps to add depth to your dialogue and your characters. - The pacing is a bit funky. Believe me, that is a hard thing to get, I have problems pacing my stories. But the exploration needs some buildup to deliver the payoff you want to achieve. Show them planning, preparing, and going through the trials and error of a trip like that. Show the passage of time during the trip by adding little things that happen on the way over there. Give us time to know your characters so we can really feel what they're feeling. That's all I have to say, I hope my advice helped you and I wish you the best in your future writing endeavors!"
