This is my life.

I never knew my life would be this way. I never thought that when i was older and I pictured what my life would have been like that this would he it.

I had dreams of becoming so much more than the abused girl, the drug addict, the black sheep of the family. I had goals once upon a time. I still do. They just seem so much further now.

Lets dive into what started this mess..My childhood. I had a mom who worked hard to provide for us and a dad who was on crack. He often tines left us alone with a weird man who loved little girls in the not so kid friendly kind of way. My father loved his drugs and we did not have a clue what was going on. We were just kids after all, we shouldn't have to take care of ourselves.

I dont remember much about those days because I was so young but I remember the long nights of screaming arguments and tear soaked blankets like it was yesterday. I remember the fear we all felt when my father didn't get his fix. The late nights hearing my mother cry alone in her room while my dad was out partying. That's what I do remember.

When we got a little older, the police ran into our house after my father. A 14 year old girl had accused him sexually abusing her, raping her. I didn't know at the time that it was my aunt or that it was true either. I felt empty when they dragged him away. After years of living in hell, you grow numb in a way.

You don't care whether they stay or they go. If you stay or you go. If things are good or if things are bad. You just don't feel anything anymore. That's what it's like when you are so deep in depression that you just don't care about anything anymore. That's where I was. This is my life. Get ready because what you read is 100% true. It's not pretty and some things will make you mad, make you want to cry, make you question yourself and the people around you. Beware