The plot

"Everything I'm saying is not to be rude, I am just telling you for your future reference. So It was a little different having the intro being I want to f*** my Boss. I understand what you were trying to get at but it was a bit descriptive. You could have just said a little plot and not make it act like no one's reading this because this is going to the whole world and people are seeing that and it's not really catching any reader's attention. Another thing I suggest is putting more little paragraphs instead of making it just a bunch of big paragraphs because having them so big will make the readers a bit bored. But if you separate it out and make different chapters and maybe make it take longer for them to meet. Then I think that would make more people read it. And again I'm not trying to write this to make you feel bad I'm just trying to help you in case you want to write something else just to give you more details onto what you could do and another thing would be maybe explaining who's talking instead of just saying a bunch of random people maybe you can give them names so people understand who's talking. If you want to reference at all you can check out my book it's called Love or death I'm just suggesting it so maybe you can look at options on how to separate your paragraphs and write. It's only if you want to but it's just a suggestion in case you might want a little reference."