Villainly Love
“Mwahaha, you will never be able to escape me!” Snake Blade says a boy with a gain scar across his face. He wears a skin-tight white suit with black in the shadows of his body. As he runs to the hero, he drags a large sword with a snake sculpture on the handle. He is called Snake Blade.
“You won’t get the jewel!” StarMan, a blond-haired boy, says, pushing the jewel deeper into his pocket. “I’ll die before you can take it from me!” StarMan jumps up and says. His bright yellow suit with a black star across his chest blinds Snake Blade. In a matter of seconds, he is in the air, crashing down on Snake Blade.
“GO STARMAN” squeals a group of girls on the side of the road. They lift posters filled with hearts and drawings of StarMan in the air. StarMan turns and flashes a smile at the girls; loud screams follow. Snake Blade’s eyes darken, and he rushes toward the group of girls. He lifts his sword and BAM! Concrete and dirt fly up into the air and soon after, StarMan with the girls in his arms follow. One of them faints as soon as she realizes who picked her up, others kiss him, take pictures with him, or hold out pieces of paper. StarMan flies off and returns seconds later; free of the girls. He shoots his hands down and yellow light blasts from his hands. Snake Blade swings up his sword and the light bounces off of it hitting a building. The building begins to crumble, but two elderly people stand beneath it.
“Honey!” the woman says. She pulls the man close to her.
“I-I love you, darling.” the old man cries out. “If I die, I’d want to be with you.” The couple squeeze into a hug as tears fly down their faces. Snake Blade pauses and stares at the couple, his eyes widen and close shut as he whips his head away from them. StarMan shoots his light at the rubble and pushes the couple out of the way. Most of the building crashes down on StarMan, it’s quiet for a moment. Soon later StarMan bursts out of the rubble.
“You thought that would be enough to kill me. Ha! You-” he stops furrowing his eyebrows. He spins slowly in the air. “He just left?! That little-!”. He crosses his arms and zooms off.
Snake Blade is running. His head keeps looking from side to side and then he jumps up and slides under a dumpster. He slides down a slide for a minute; he lands in an air tank, which keeps him from falling to the ground. Snake Blade fumbles out of the tank and stomps to a fridge. He opens the freezer and grabs a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream. He slumps to his couch with a spoon in hand, digging into the ice cream. A small derpy man named Randy wobbles to Snake Blade. Ever since Snake Blade was a child the only person he could call “family” was Randy. If Snake Blade ever needed anything he could ask Randy.
“Snake, what are you doing?” Randy says, side-eyeing Snake Blade. “Why are you here-” Randy sees the ice cream in Snake Blade’s hand. “Don’t tell me you’re getting all sad again, just ask her out!” Randy says, raising his hands and head into the air.
“How could I!” Snake Blade stands up and throws the ice cream tube into the trash. “I’ve never had a girlfriend before because of my villaining. She would run for the streets if I just said ’you wanna go out with a crazy person”. There’s no way!” he smacks his head on the table. Snake Blade lifts his head up fast and smirks, “I’ll ask the Jester! He has a girlfriend and they both are crazy for each other!” Snake Blade jumps into the air container and seconds later he is gone.
Randy shakes his head and says, “young people.”
***
“Oh a girlfriend, ahahahhah, you want a girlfriend? Snake Blade, the famous swordsman. I’ll help you get the girl.” he says. Jester widens his eyes and a piercing smile follows. Jester wears a yellow suit with big bright red shoes that jingle when he walks, his bloodshot eyes take his seeming friendly look and turn it crazy. “So you see what you have to do is, make her quit from her job! Then she’ll love you” Jester says.
“Okay,” Snake Blade says, dragging out the word. As they approach a coffee shop, Snake Blade becomes tense and grabs Jester. “I don’t think I can do it, let’s go get disguises”. He pulls Jester and they walk into a Halloween store.
“You ready now?” Jester says, pulling on a blonde wig and glasses.
“Yeah! Now I am” Snake Blade says then he puts on a mustache. They walk into the coffee shop and Snake Blade’s knees buckle when he looks at her. A barista with brown hair that goes to her shoulders and gleams in the sunlight. Her eyes sparkle and she looks beautiful even with coffee stains on her shirt. Her shirt has a name tag saying Aida. Seconds later, screams fill the air when Jester pulls out a gun and creates a rampage.
“What are you doing?!” Snake Blade calls out to Jester. Waving his hands into the air.
“No customers, no work” Jester says while laughing, causing everyone to run out. Aida follows, trying to cover a little girl and an old lady.
“She’s gone now!” Snake Blade says, grabbing Jester and pulling him out. Snake Blade looks at Aida and she frowns. He snaps his head away, running off.
***
“How did it go?” Randy asks.
“Awful, she FROWNED at me” Snake Blade says with his face in a pillow. He lifts and starts punching the pillow. “That stupid Jester, I should have known he would make everything into a joke.” Snake Blade says.
“So will you just-” Randy starts.
“No. I can ask Poison Oak, she’s a girl she’ll know for sure!”
Snake Blade and Poison Oak sit in a café table talking. “The best way to get a woman is to make her jealous. If you are over here talking to me” She smiles, “She’ll beg for you to go out with her” Poison Oak says.
“But, I-” Snake Blade starts.
Aida walks over to a table close by, causing Snake Blade to forget how to speak. He stares at her and before he realizes she is looking back. Poison Oak grabs Snake Blade’s face and says, “Oh, you look so handsome, any girl would be lucky to date you.” When Snake Blade glances at Aida, she is gone.
“No, didn’t work” Snake Blade pushes Poison Oak off of him. Poison Oak stands up and walks out. “W-Where are you going?” Snake Blade asks.
“I tried my best, usually that does it for me” Poison Oak says shrugging. She walks out the store and five men fall to their knees begging her to go out with them and she points at them looking at Snake Blade. Snake Blade walks out of the café and into the street.
“Ah ha! I’ve found you, Snake Blade! Thought you could hide from me? Never” StarMan says jumping down a tall building. He lands with one leg bent and the other straight, flipping into a standing stance. Snake Blade rolls his eyes and continues to walk. “I knew since the day I saw you that you were smart but I. What are you doing?” StarMan stops and flies over to Snake Blade. “I was in the middle of my hero monologue and you walked away” StarMan says, crossing his arms.
“I have things to do” Snake Blade says, looking at Aida.
“What… oh, OHH” StarMan says smirking. “When I was a teen I went through this too, but the best way to get a girl is give her a nice present!” StarMan looks at Snake Blade pulling out a stack of what looks like papers. “Signed pictures are the best!” StarMan throws pictures at the screaming girls below. Snake Blade grabs his sword and blasts StarMan away. This is why I hate superheroes! All of them are egotistical jerks! Snake Blade crosses his arms.
Snake Blade walks home thinking of different ways to get Aida to talk to him. He remembers his disguise. I’ll get to see her and she won’t be afraid of me. The light in the sky deepens as Snake Blade reaches the shop. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door. A jingle follows, “Hello please feel free to sit anywhere” a soft angelic voice says. Snake Blade sits down and his gaze follows Aida. He watches her blissful movements, when she comes to his table she says “Since you’re the only one here could you try these new coffees for me. Free of charge, of course.” Aida says, twirling her hands together.
“Of course, I would love to,” Snake Blade says. Minutes later, Aida comes to Snake Blade with a tray filled with different coffee samples. Aida sits down, surprising Snake Blade. As the dusk turned into night, Snake Blade sat drinking different kinds of coffee, some amazing, some causing him to hold down vomit. Nevertheless, the only thoughts repeating in his mind are Aida is incredible.
“Thank you so much for the tips and talking with you was great, please come again.” Aida paused, looking at Snake Blade.
“Umm Sna- Darius, Darius is my name” Snake Blade tenses then looks into Aida’s eyes. They become slits as her smile grows even more.
“Can’t wait to see you again Darius” Aida says waving at the door.
Snake Blade glides down the road, his steps seeming to grow lighter the more he recalls. How can I make her feel what I am feeling now? Snake Blade thinks as he enters his lair. He scribbles different plans, looking up old villains and if they ever had girlfriends or even wives. The trash can slowly fills with paper, “Why did I become a villain? Things would be so much easier if I didn’t” he pauses. “Then again I wouldn’t have met her,” Snake Blade says.
“But why do you even like her?” Randy asks.
Snake Blade turns to the old man. “Why does it matter?” Snake Blade says.
“Why do you like her?” Randy says sharply.
Snake Blade huffs “One day, a couple of weeks ago, after a fight with StarMan she saw me walking back to the lair. She didn’t scream or run, she grabbed me and said let me fix you up. We didn’t say any words but I felt as though someone finally saw me for me. I know it sounds far fetched but I think, no I know now after trying to win her over, I like her. I want to grow up with her, find out her likes and dislikes, who she is, who her family is, I want to know her dreams and help her with those dreams. I just don’t know how.” Snake Blade says.
“So why are you telling me this? Go talk to her, ask her to dinner” Randy says. “And remember be you” Randy says, waving as Snake Blade drags his feet out.
This won’t work, I know it! I don’t have anything left to do.
“Umm, hello, would you like to go to dinner with me?” Snake Blade asks, squeezing his eyes shut.
“I thought you’d never ask.” Aida says, smiling, writing something down. She hands him a piece of paper with 443-346-7895 written on it. “Friday at 8” Aida says. She walks off, and Snake Blade now sits dumbfounded at a table. Then he places his hand over his face to cover an overwhelming grin on his face.
