Chapter 1
September 13th 2012
It wasn't her fault
It never was and it never would be. Yet here she was cold, out of money, and finally almost out of gas.
The car came to a halting stop. It hadn't ran out just yet, the last few minutes of it was meaningful. She had to make a choice, either use the last to have a comfortable ride to school or a ride to pick up her sister. She wanted the latter but she wasn't dumb and had her priorities straight.
***
"We're going to have to walk the rest of the way."
"What?! what do you mean walk?"
My hands reach for the keys pulling them out the ignition and into my pocket.
"I mean exactly what I said. I ain't got no more gas money and we need this little bit to pick up Kiara then get back home. Either sit in the car for 6 hours or come to school. You choose."
She gets out the car. Did Kenya get out too? I didn't know and could care less.
"I told you we shoulda accepted that money a week ago, we coulda had gas and food right now."
"Well we didn't. So deal wit it." I'm taller so my long legs help me to speed up while she lag behind. One thing I have kept mostly consistent was getting Kiara to daycare everyday and getting me and Kenya to school everyday. My parents never played about education, so I wouldntn't either.
"Come on girl, the school just around the corner." I point to the big building not too far from us.
"Easy for you to say hm?" She gotta jog the rest of the way with them tiny legs.
We go to private school, one where all the rich kids go. Even some celebrity kids. In the past few weeks we ain't look like we belonged there. We didn't but the payments were made every month therefore we go, just so it's not a waste of money.
"Like I tell you everyday, don't be embarrassing me in these peoples school. Meet me outside by the bench. 2:50. Sharp." I pick some lint out her hair then signal for her to go on to her class. No "I love you." Or anything. She already pissed at me.
I squeeze past everyone crowded in the hallway. All they do is talk. Most of em barely passing they classes. They spoiled and they mommas and daddy's still gonna pay for them to go.
I get to my first and most hated class. Algebra.
"Kalani!" My teacher yells from her desk. My head shoots up and a million scenarios run through my head. I haven't did anything malicious recently?
She walks over to me and puts a paper on my desk. "Michael Jackson" it says at the top.
"You've been here since pre k, we've all thought about this throughly and we've came to the conclusion that you should be the ambassador for our new student. Here's his schedule."
I pick up the paper and grab my backpack after. "You sure? I mean y'all had enough time to make up y'all's mind?"
"We sure did. He should be in the office waiting right now."
"Alright, I'll go do that, go this this. Now." I get down there and see a average looking boy, I mean he ain't ugly but he ain't my type. ain't like I was expecting him to be cute anyhow.
I try to put on a smile and a friendly tone of voice while introducing myself but honestly I'm sick of all this. Sick of my life actually.
"Your first class is. Oh algebra, mine too. Just follow me." I go back up the same way I came down.
The teacher had a dumb little ritual she made everyone do when a new student came. Each person stood up one at a time, said their name, and a fun fact about them.
When it came around to me he gave a bigger smile than he did anyone else. The class went smoothly. It was a independent work day. Michael ain't have no work so he spent his 45 minutes talking my ears off.
"You sound country. Where are you from?"
"Louisiana. You always talk this much?"
"Oh sorry." He sit back in his chair and look up towards the front of the room.
"No I'm just asking, we basically got every class together. I'll be dealing with this for like 100 more days won't I?"
"I guess I do, I'm just trying to make friends and be friendly." I nod and blow a small bubble with the gum that's been in my mouth since 6 this morning.
"When are you due?"
"What?" I look up him genuinely confused but then I realize. I glance at my 2 month pregnant stomach. Most people didn't notice, it just look like I'm a little chunky.
"April." I subconsciously place my hand on my stomach. And feel a tiny rush of happiness but sadness at the same time.
"Do you have any name ideas?"
I sigh and answer the last question on the worksheet. "I don't Michael, but probably something that starts with a K."
The bell finally rings, I pack up and leave. I barely wait for him but he eventually catches up. I was relieved to know he sat far away from me in every other class.
"Do you drive?"
"Yeah, I'm just waiting for someone. You have a lambo picking you up I'm guessing?"
"No, why do you think that?"
"I don't know." I see Kenya wondering out the school looking for me so I cut our conversation short.
"You comin to school tomorrow?"
"If nothing bad happens overnight."
"Ight, see you then."
I feel his eyes tracking my every movement as me I walk away. And still following me when we walking to the car.
"How was school?"
She shrugs and tries to walk ahead of me but fails miserably. "I got 20 dollars. We can get something if you want."
"Starbucks."
I shake my head and open the car door. We'd have to take some time off school until I got some more money. Daycare prices recently skyrocketed. I have to juggle between that, gas, rent, food and clothes.
"What do you want?"
"Coffee."
"No. you ain't staying up all night."
We go back and forth arguing the whole way there and the whole way to the hotel. She ended up getting a little kiddie lemonade. I'm not staying up with a 10 year old and a 2 year old all night.
"Get up and help me clean." I throw a empty bottle of Clorox towards Kenya but it misses her head and ends up hitting the window.
"But why?! You look like you got it under control."
"You want roaches?"
She get up and help scrub out the bathtub while I clean the sink.
"When we gonna call mama again? It's been like a week."
"Tomorrow. We gotta do laundry tomorrow anyways." I glance down at her. She already looking up at me.
"What?"
"I just miss being at home. I don't know why we had to leave."
"I know. I don't know why either, but at least we have each other.. right?"
She nods without the slightest change in emotion as if what I said brought her no comfort.
October 13th 2012
"Here. go put 4 quarters in the machine." I quickly dial the number while handing her the coins.
I doubt she gonna answer. Last time we called she was pissed at us for some reason, we ain't even say much. Just that we miss being home.
The phone rings a few times I was about to hang up until she answered. Kiara who was sat on my hip immediately started babbling the second she heard her momma voice. Babbling talking.. she ain't know who her real momma was, she ain't say mama or nothing. She said "hey" or "hi" I'm her momma now.
Kenya rushed over the second I said something.
She was a mess. Begging to come back the whole time. Telling her how much she sorry and how much she miss them but no amount of pleading made her change her mind.
I don't know why she won't let the little two come back home. They ain't do it. It's my fault. She say my actions have consequences for all of us. They just little kids. They don't deserve that though. I guess she just too blind to see it.
