Chapter 1
The morning mist made him barely visible but I knew that shadow, that silhouette, I couldn’t forget it…even if I tried. Before I knew it my feet were moving, my walk turned to strides, my strides to intent and purpose. We met that day on the green, a day like the rest but all the different, unique even. Holding onto each other as time stood still and we lost ourselves in the vastness of our affection and infatuation for one another. They say love is but a chemical reaction, if so no one knows and or will ever understand the intoxication it holds over me with every breath I take. After all this time, he still clouds my feelings, my judgement, my being. Am I he and or he me. The sensation is vast, indescribable, I, him and we have the key to our freedom.
Everything around me slows down, as I watch my life flash before my eyes. Why couldn’t you have just left, why did you leave a piece of yourself behind. When you know I will never be able to look at you the same ever again. In that moment of my life the tears flowed like the Nile, holding all the intense emotions you have brought upon me. My brother’s arms wrapped around me in a comforting embrace as the rest of my family stood by watching my life fall apart. I needed them now more than I ever have, even more than when I fell from the tree house and broke my arm at age 4.
I held the letter as tight as I could, trying to grasp the threads holding every ounce of…feeling I have remaining for you. For fear of if I let go it would mean you are truly gone, a door I am not ready to open or ever will be. “Ornella maybe you should rest, me and your father shall notify your college that you won’t be in for the rest of the week due to circumstances”. Before my mother could finish her sentence my body moved on its own accord, numb to my surroundings. By the time my head hit the bed, it felt like I had a tiny drum within my brain but exhaustion took over.
“Hello…hello, who are you and why are you…lau”. I knew that laugh anywhere.
“What do you mean Nelly this is our favourite spot, come let me take a snap of us”
“Ummm…a picture”
“Smile Nelly smile”
“One, two, three and smile”
“Huh…what was that!?”
I jolted awake feeling so disorientated, for a moment I forgot where I was. I felt something wet running down my face, tears I had shed during that vivid memory of our time together. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, the vivid dreams happened almost every night but as time went on they became less frequent.
Two weeks later I went back to college and threw myself into work and studies to catch up with all that I had missed. In those two weeks I made my friends aware of what had happened. They sent through messages of comfort and tried to see me but in all honesty I just wanted to be alone with myself and my thoughts.
Group Chat:
Mace: Typing…
Andrea: How are you feeling girly???
Mace: Need a tub of caramel swirl or a lemon cheese cake??
Mace: Or maybe a whole sheet cake.
June: Mace stop with the food suggestions that is not what she needs right now.
Mace: What!?...Food makes everything better.
June: Nelly how about a karaoke booth to sing your heart out.
Mace: Like your idea is any better.
June: Hey now cookie monster.
Roman: Hey now you two quit being idiots.
June: Awww now look who finally decides to join the chat.
Roman: Hello and good morning to you too June.
Roman: Hey Nells, what do you need?
Ornella: Typing…
Ornella: I just need time to myself.
Mace: I will pummel that piece of shit if I ever see him again.
June: Don’t talk about him, I don’t even want to say his name.
June: How could he do that to our Nells?
