Prologue
'' You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt me, but somehow that didn't stop you...''
My mind spins, questions mount me and I feel like I will throw up at any second. The minutes are passing painfully slowly and it feels like the whole universe is waiting for me to act. What's next? Not that difficult. You take a deep breath, pick up your suitcase and face the world. Him. Easier to say.
I look around the room, and memories flood my eyes, good and bad. Trying to recall the signs that warned me that something was wrong. There were too many.
I look in the mirror one last time before I step out of the room with my suitcase in my hand. I try to go down the stairs as quietly as possible and for a moment I believe that I can avoid him.
''Leaving without even saying a goodbye?'' I swing around to see him sitting in his favorite armchair with a glass of whiskey in his hands. For the last time, I try to absorb every refined piece of Alessio Borrelli.
'' You think you deserve one?'' I ask, my stomach is in knots, a mixture of anger and nerve.
He takes a deep, frustrated breath. '' I don't fucking understand you. What exactly do you want from me?''
'' The truth!'' I shout in his face, fuming with anger.
'' Mamma Mia!'' he groans. ''I already told you, woman!'' he snaps and throws his
whiskey glass against the wall. I'm slightly taken aback by Alessio's sudden show of anger. He was perfectly composed most of the time, at least around me. I really misunderstood him.
'' I'm done with this conversation now. I curse the day I met you.''
'' I think we both know you don't mean it, amore. '' Alessio stands up his eyes never leaving mine, and he slowly approaches me. ''Ti amo cosi tanto. Mi hai rubato il cuore.'' he reaches over, clasping my hand in his. I gulp back the lump forming in my throat before I burst out crying. ''I would kill for you.''
(''I love you so much.'' “You stole my heart.”)
I shake my head. '' Please don't say that. You need someone who keeps her mouth shut, who always obeys you, someone who doesn't care if you kill someone, or when you disappear in the middle of the night. I'm not that woman. '' I whisper the last few words and I let go of his hand. My heart is breaking. But I have to be strong.
''Lena...''
''Goodbye Alessio.''
And with that, I left behind Italy and the love of my life.
