A POTRAIT OF AN AFRICAN WOMAN

“Mama Can I get more yams?” Yassim called out to her mama who was out swiping the front yard, with all the small pebbles surrounding their little wood shack it was impossible to be heard she had to go out to be heard clearly. Coming out running she almost hit the big stone at their doorstep which acted as a step into and out of the house, smiling with her big eyes she said “mama can I have more yams please?” trying to give out her most innocent and empathetic face. “Yes baby you can but be sure to leave the most for your brother when he comes back from the market” mama said.

Year after year the same routine for Yassim, get up in the morning cut grass for the two cows they owned, milk the cow, fetch water from the well, eat breakfast and rush to school. Going to school was the hardest part for Yassim she had to walk for almost 10km before she got to school, most of the time she got late and had to face punishment in the local primary school she attended.

one thing was true she was brighter than most students though she came from a family that knew no school, none of her brothers wanted to go to school they would rather spend their day selling local breweries their mother made called “changaa” her mama always tried to talk to them to go to school but they were to engrossed in drinking and selling changaa. Her mama always told her “your different I know you’re going to make me proud someday, you’re like the sun a little brightness early in the morning but as the day moves on you get brighter”.

Yassim wasn’t light skinned like other ladies in her class which sometimes made her feel not as pretty as other girls; she was chocolate brown with thick curly hair and had the hugest eyes ever. She was the best in all her classes ,good grades, high discpline,she was the favorite of all teachers, she didn’t associate much with rest of her class mates because to them she was the daughter of a local brewery ,a polygamist father who hardly shows up, drunk brothers, the girl with toned cloths and a nerd. They had no library or books at home so every time she got free she would walk to the free local library 20km from home owned by a mzungu whom she really never understood why they called him mzungu coz he was black.

one day mama told her his name was Oneal he was born and raised in America and that his parents were slaves to wazungu’s.yassim really liked him he always had a smile on his face and once or twice gave her sweets which to her was a luxury her family never had, she read all books in Swahili from heka heka za abunuasi to utengano.one day when she got to the library there was a strange mzungu talking to the owner of the library, she had really white hair but held a wide smile when she saw her starring .

when she finished reading that day Mr. Oneal called her and asked her if she could speak English ,she explained that she didn’t know and Mr.Oneal told her the white haired mzungu will start teaching English every evening after school if she wants she can register with him. She went home great full and run to tell her mama” mama O’Neil told me that I can learn English from the white haired lady who came in to the library today, can I go after school?” she knew it would be hard coz she had to go to the farm every afternoon after school to help out in either weeding or planting and there was firewood to be collected from the forest.

mama sighed and said you will have to go but make up on weekend after church you go straight to the forest for firewood as many trips as it takes to get enough firewood for the whole week.

Yassim’s days where never the same after mama said yes to her request, they were brighter, happier, busy, thrilling, exciting. Every day she learned new things, vocabularies, she could explain herself in English she was so proud of herself. Mama was so proud of her, unlike other women mama never associated with groups, she was more of a loner, and she did her work and talked to customers with a smile that looked just like Yassim but never really kept any close friends.

one day as Yassim was rushing home from her English classes at the O’Neil’s, she heard her father’s voice from a distance it looked like he was arguing moving closer she could hear mama crying, hurrying she came to the door and so the floor in mess, everything was scattered and mama was hurt there was blood on her pretty face. “Mama, what’s wrong?” she screamed turning around she saw her dad looking at her and shouting “is this what your mama taught you, to be a harlot, a prostitute at this young age, where are you coming from you idiot?”

Yassim replied “Papa I am from class, you haven’t been around thus why I couldn’t tell you” she looked up to him with tears in her eyes. She knew this routine happened whenever papa didn’t have any money and he wanted to get all of mum’s cash, he would come in complaining about something, beat mama up, eat food, take all of mama’s money and head off. Mama looked up at him and gently unfolded her kanga and removed a 1000 note which I knew that was all mama had and gave it to him and said softly “take it I know that’s what you came from, don’t hurt my daughter just take the money and go to your many wives.”

Papa laughed sarcastically and threw the note down saying “do you think this is what I came for? I came because I heard you were selling my daughter off as a prostitute to the wazungu” he went on bubbling for about fifteen minutes about how my mama was useless,ugly and how he regrets marrying her then he picked up the note and walked off slamming the door too loudly.

Every time he’d do this mama would smile once he left and look at me and say “Yassim, you have to work hard not to have a life like mine, you’re the sun baby shine, your different I know you are going to be somebody someday”. It was always the same old routine once papa left mama would ask to be left alone to rest but secretly would spend the night sobbing in her room.yassim had to go cook super and deal with her drunk brothers once they returned home, Rashid was the first born but the hardest to deal with.

He was never sober complained about everything and ate too much but despite all this he cared more than anything about his little sister, he always had a way of controlling the rest and a commanding voice that made everyone listen. He looked at Yassim and sighed “papa came right? What did he do this time” with fear knowing the temper Rashid had Yassim responded with a node.

” Sorry I wasn’t here but you know he is just crazy, don’t worry mama is going to be fine and me your big bro is going to take care of you” smiling he patted her shoulder and walked off. Apart from Rashid, there was ally the 2nd born a very quiet, reserved guy, handsome than all, mama said he used to be a good boy and bright in school till one afternoon when he came off from school to find his mama on the floor with blood oozing from her head and her daddy holding a big panga ready to slaughter her.

He punched his dad and hit him with a slasher, rushing mama to the nearest clinic which was about 10km by foot he watched his mama been stitched and crying in pain. Since then he retreated into his own world of drinking, working and gambling, “he never talks about it” mama says with tears in her eyes he ruined my baby’s life. Following ally was amani, he was tall with broad shoulders, he was the most social had a lot of friends, there was a rumor that he is a thief which was very possible but nobody ever caught him red handed, he drunk, smoked weed, gambled, but every once in a while he would shower, dress up in his best mutumba and go to church, he had a deep voice every time he was in church his voice could be heard singing loud.

lastly was nyangana whom Yassim followed, he was very naughty, always got in trouble, he once spent a night in lock up for stealing a man’s chicken but mama rushed over and bribed a policeman and thus how he got out but to date he still believes he did nothing wrong. He was popular with girls; he always had sweet words and was always smartly dressed though I never really understood where he got the money to buy such expensive clothes. He could be kind too, sometimes he brought home meat, rice and at times even kitenge for mama and me.He knew how to survive, he did odd jobs here and there thus was the only one among the brothers who could help out mum with cash once in a while.

On Sunday morning mama and Yassim dressed up in their best kitenge and went to church, Yassim was happy to see Mr.O’Neil in church she smiled and waved at him. The service as usual was long and boring the same preacher very day who preached about the indecent ways people where dressing now a days and then collected offerings which Yassim always wondered where that money went to because she has never seen their little wood church improve, the floor was mad of mud, there was no ceiling and the chairs were never enough. The one thing Yassim liked about going to church is that, she could get to watch the praise team dance, then mama would cook rice and sometimes even meat.

On Monday she was back to reality had to rush to school and then to the library for her English lessons, she could talk in English now and even read some of those stories in English.as she was leaving the library she noticed a new face, a young girl she saw once, she was studying in an English school in town and was home for holiday, her father was the member of parliament representing their place. She had long black hair tied in a ponytail. The girl smiled at her and introduced herself “my name is linah, and you name?” she said in fluent English. They talked for some time and found out they had a lot to talk about in terms of books, from that day they became good friends, sharing what they learned from books to each other.

None of them knew this would be the beginning of a lifelong friendship between them. Although the two shared a lot they came from completely different backgrounds, one was from a well-off family known as the “matajiri’s” to mean rich people but as for Yassim she came from “masikini” to mean poor background. A polygamous father, a small shamba to feed them all, their mama was selling local breweries which were also illegal and not a stable business.

Linah unlike Yassim led a very high class life every Christmas her family went for what was known as a vacation to the big city called Dar-es –salaam. She didn’t really understand what they did when they went there but she heard it was a big city were rich people live, they have plenty of water, electricity, many car’s, big stores, the ocean ooh how Yassim dreamed of going their someday especially to see the ocean.

she heard from mama that it was big and there was a lot of good staff in the big city.yassim wasn’t a girl of many needs, she didn’t dream of living in Dar or driving big cars, she liked the simple things, raindrops in spring, the smell of home cooked meals, the sun during summer, the falling leaves in fall, butterflies and dragon flies by the river, fields of maize whether dry or green. She loved the smile on her mama’s face after she had done well in school, she loved watching as the evening sun set and farmers talked on their way home about how the rains are approaching, small babies holding on to their mama’s khanga, sunrays penetrating in the window of their small mud house as she tries to read her books.

Her world of magic, dreams and success lied deep within the pile and pile of books she loved reading. It made her feel like she lived in a different world, she felt every pain,happiness,gitters that the characters in her books felt, it’s like she visualized every event in every chapter, it seemed so real to her it was the only time that she felt that nothing else matters except what went on in her dreams it’s like time stood still as she read and everything seemed to make more sense, one of this days she was going to write a book she once said to her mama, she smiled at Yassim and said” yes baby you will, you got it all in you”

That evening Yassim went home a bit late she was too caught up talking to linah about the collection of books linah had at home witch she was willing to share with Yassim one of this days. She couldn’t help but imagine all that she could learn and read and plus this would improve her English.

Days went by ,weeks linah and Yassim were inseparable they played together, read together, went for walks together, shared just about everything in other words they became the best of friends. About it was time for linah to go back to school; this was a tough time for Yassim since she had no friends apart from linah.

Linah promised to bring a whole bunch of books when she returned back from school; they made plans of what they would do next holiday. After linah left Yassim went back to her old life, nothing exciting except for her books, she buried herself in them every day from school, home and the library.

One day when she arrived at school she could see everyone was busy they were preparing for the arrival of a very important government official from the big city, they said it was the minister of community development, women and children the country Dr.Asha rose migiro.she had heard about her from the radio as a women who held a lot of power within the country which left her in wonder.

They called her doctor but she didn’t understand why because what she knew is that she is a lawyer by profession, one of her teachers explained that she had a PhD in law thus why is called a doctor, she listened keenly to what she said during the assembly and was really impressed that an African woman could hold so much power and education and be known in the world.

After the day at school she didn’t even go home for lunch she had a lot to do she had to read everything there was to know about Dr.asha she was going to be her role model. She run to Mr.O’Neil library and asked if she could get any books or articles on the super woman who visited their school that day. Mr.O’Neil gave her some articles and told her he was going to show her some things on his computer using what they called the internet she listened keenly as Mr.O’Neil explained that it connected people from different places and that she could use to access all kind s of books.

She spend the afternoon and learned a lot about her, when she was leaving she looked up at Mr.O’Neil and said am going to be just like her when I grow up or even more .I love my country and my people and one day am going to make sure every kid out there who want to read can get this books and read just like you are doing for our community

Yassim didn’t realize it but that became the turning point in her life, that was when a new person was born, one with self-confidence, determination, zeal, courage, the drive to be someone better, to rise above her circumstance and the desire that her place of birth of childhood was just a stepping stone to the greater person she was going to be.

From that day on after school she was in the library to read more and more about other famous people down the lane of history of both her country and the world at large. She kept growing and had a very good English plus she wrote poems here and then which Mr.O’Neil commented that they were pretty good.

She graduated primary school with the highest grades not only on her school and region but countrywide and was selected to attend weru weru high school which was one of the best national secondary schools in the country only for high performers.she was mostly happy because that is where her role model had studied and that made her feel like she was on her way to achieving her dreams.

Her mama was so proud, life had not been easy this past few years her mama worked had she took on jobs weeding or planting in people’s farm, she even worked at linah’s house as a maid during daytime. She had to stop selling local brews since it was risky she didn’t want to end up in jail.

She stopped right after Rashid got arrested for theft, apparently he was found in a crime scene, they all knew he was innocent but since they were poor and he was the one found with stolen vehicle items in his bag he was sentenced to 15years in jail. Rashid was in tears as he told mama “you know I didn’t do it…. Am poor but I don’t steal” the court showed no mercy for people who had no money and the judge was the friend of the real criminal and since he had money my brother was caught in the middle of that case.

It was a clear afternoon my brother was drunk as usual and had no “kibarua” for the day, it had been a few hard days with no real job to do .suddenly Masawe showed up with a 10,000tshs note saying some friend of his known as Kilala had some goods he needed to be taken to Usa and he was willing to pay for transport and some fee for transporting the parts to a garage since he was busy.

Rashid saw this as a great opportunity since it gave him a chance to go to town and try these new drinks called “viroba” and since he could get some extra cash he could mama a gift. He received the items as well as the cash and started off but when he got to Usa he was caught by the police and arrested for theft of those parts apparently they were goods from a lorry that was stolen the previous night.

After the arrest ever thing went too fast and before long he was sent to the main prison in Monduli with a sentence of 15yers in jail. Before he was sent off he asked to talk with Yassim, looking into his little sisters eyes he said “I want you to read hard and have a big posh office one day, drive a big Prado, with lots of cash and take care of mama.don’t be like us your brothers, you have to make it big in life and if I get out of here one day I will make my ways straight too someday. Love you “kamwana” a word he used to mean last born.

The rest of her brothers it’s like nothing changed even after their brother went to jail they still didn’t change their ways they were drunk more than ever and made mama cry every time.since the school was far from home Yassim was kind of happy to get out from the atmosphere full of drunk people and broken life’s.

Most of her classmates had babies already or where roaming aimlessly planning to go to the big city to look for a job but she knew what she wanted out of life and had made up her mind she would do what it takes to get their someday.

A day before she left for school she went to say bye to Mr.o’neil, she found him seated outside reading a book and when he saw her he smiled and held out his arms for her. This past few years he had become like a father to her, he gave her books, showed her to use a computer, helped her to practice how to speak good English, took her to his home and mama O’Neil as they all called her cooked some pretty good meals that she enjoyed especially cake.

She looked him straight in the eye and said “I came to say bye am going to school tomorrow, and I will miss this library but I know I will find you when I come back”. After several minutes of chit chat and advice, Mr. O’Neil brought out as mall book and gave it to her it was a book by Mr. Nelson Mandela called “a long walk to freedom” he said to her read it and take this small diary write down your thoughts and some of those poems and remember keep your head up you’re a star shine.

Walking home from the library she also remembered mama’s words “you are a star baby shine”. Smiling to herself she went in to find mama cooking Ugali for supper they ate together and she told her please make me proud when you go there I know you’re a star and you going to shine.

Unlike most girls all she had with her was a big iron trunk given to her by linah’s mom, inside was her uniforms, a small dress given to her by mama O’Neil, a sandal, two pairs of socks, the book long walk to freedom, her diary, some soap and bay care oil, tooth paste and brush and her bible given to her by her mama.no pocket money, just transport money.

Unlike her fellows it was expensive for her mama to escort her so she only escorted her to the bus station and waved bye. She tried to hold back her tears but failed miserably she couldn’t help but worry what would happen to her mama while she was gone.

It was the first time away from home and she didn’t know where she was going but she asked around and finally made it to her school, she looked at other kids been driven in big cars by their parents with plenty of luggage and brand new things while all she had were handed down and second hand clothes. But she had a bright smile on her face because this was the beginning of the fulfillment of her life long dreams.

Life in weru weru was different but she was flexible and adjusted quickly, gained favor from her teachers. Once in a while she got a letter from linah who was now studying at St. Mary’s secondary school, she seemed happy and steal a bookworm as usual getting this letters made her feel that there were people out there who belied in her.

As usual she was still the best in her class ,was great at debates and a great leader, on holidays sometimes she would go home but at time she couldn’t because there was no money but she did her best despite of all that she had found a new consolation in their school library which she spent endless hours in reading and writing down her thoughts.one thing was sure no one on that school had better English like her, she was good in practically everything she did inside and outside class she was exceptional.

After four years of exceptional performance she was now going to sit for her form four national examinations, she had grown into a very tall, chocolate coloured girl with a big smile and heart. Every year she got a book and a dress from the O’Neil’s which she cherished a lot. She read all about freedom fighters, Martin Luther, Booker T Washington, Nelson Mandela.julious Nyerere, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Malcolm X, and so many more. She was practically a book worm in every sense she had added romance novels recently to her collection of books she read.

She sat for her papers and did her best and returned home, she was shocked to see most of her primary school classmates married with kids and now did small businesses or odd jobs in their small village. But her mama was proud of her even her dad came to see her when he came he looked sick though her mama didn’t seem to notice.

Two weeks after he left he fell very ill and when mama and I went to visit him he couldn’t even move after several tests the doctors confirmed he had AIDS ,he was a stubborn man didn’t want any medications, he refused the ARV’s saying they are meant to kill him.my step mother fled after hearing that and my mama had to take him home with us so as to take care of him, but after two months of a great health battle he died one morning but before that he told me” I know I haven’t been a good father but I know you are going to be somebody someday keep climbing the sky is the limit” Yassim was shocked that was the first ever advice to receive from her papa.

Her papa was buried the following day with almost all the drunkards of the village as the major attendees of his burial, the pastor said a few words and all his wives’ and kids were present except for Rashid who was in prison.

After the burial things went back to normal, Yassim volunteered to assist at Mr.O’Neil center helping out in the library and in teaching English. She loved it and it also gave her an opportunity to read plenty of books and make some friends.

It was one of the best times in her life she could bury herself in books continuously and wasn’t aware of how time flew as she sat there reading chapters after chapter of interesting books. Apart from Dr.Rose Migiro she added more role models like Danielle Steele a good novelist, African writers Chinua Achebe, Prof.Wole Soyinka whose story attracted her a lot and she enjoyed the fact that he even worn a Nobel prize in the time and age that he wrote his books with themes ranging from conflict, civil wars, neo-colonialism, racial segregation and even corruption.

It seems like the world was filled with more and more African American heroes she could rely on, many who had to struggle from the beginning to get where they wanted to get.one thing she noticed is that they all had different stories but the same path life wasn’t an easy journey for them they had to struggle and work hard to get where they are know.it didn’t matter which continent or corner of the world each of this important figures in history came from what was really important was what they left this world been remembered for the great impact they made to human society.

This changed her whole perspective of how she saw the world, to her now the world sounded like one big canvas and the human race like a brush in a painters hands, life is an art the brush is in our hands what you make of the canvas is up to us.to her all humans where artists trying to make a master piece out of one big canvas and the power to yield a good artwork was all in our hands to decide, one created their own fate by what they choose to put up but one thing is for sure you can’t erase what you already drew in short every day in life is a performance and not a rehearsal.

To a writer she saw life as one big blank page in the hands of an individual what you choose to write in it could either spread love or hate and everyone is a writer in itself some write ballads, poetry, narratives, horrors, biographies. Like every literary work there are different characters in our stories, different themes, we use metaphors, we have different settings, and our plots differ.

But like all written stories there are beginnings and ends and how we wrote our stories will determine a lot of how our stories will end. Some of us live in fairytales and are always looking forward to the happy ever after ending and some of our stories end in pure madness or sadness.

Every single day, hour, minute, seconds and every moment she spent at the free library teaching others and reading books were like heaven to her. She met different people and experienced adventure just seated down reading something.

Linah never came back home she was leaving in Dar with one of her brothers. Although they kept in touch every now and then with a letter or two and shared the same enthusiasm about books, linah’s book reading wasn’t as intense as Yassim’s constant need and obsession with old books.

Days flew by and turned to weeks and months and finally it was time for the results to com e out. Her mama had been praying for a long time for her daughter to get good results but no one expected the results that she got she was number one in the whole country with a division 1 point seven and had been chosen to go to one of the best national high schools in the country.