Dark

Every day feels like it keeps repeating over and over. It seems like I don’t have control over it. The alarm goes off, but I remember that I don’t have to work today. What makes my life less boring I guess it’s the other me. It lives inside my head. It’s like a dark twisted version of myself. It’s ironic because I’m not the brightest person. The other me whom I called Zora keeps talking to me throughout the day. It’s a little annoying when I’m trying to stay focused.

Today was no different, I woke up and the minute I was awake Zora started with her usual babbling.

“Looks like you are finally awake you little b*tch.” -Zora said

Sometimes it feels like the voice becomes a real person standing right there with me. I usually try to ignore her but there are times when I respond. Mostly because I have no one else to talk to. Today I decided to respond.

“And it looks like you haven’t become little miss sunshine.” -I said while I made my way to the bathroom.

Once I got to the bathroom I took a long shower. It is the only time she is not here with me. The water starts running through my head and I get to relax. It is a really peaceful time. Just me and the water. Sometimes I just sit there and let the water run. I know it’s bad for the environment but I just lose myself.

I finished my shower and got changed. I guess I’m lucky I don’t have to go out to work today as my show got canceled. I don’t have to go out and interact with people I don’t like. I don’t have to suffer from the loud noises that are everywhere. It’s just me, my cat, and Zora. I got some snarky comments from time to time from Zora. I’m used to it so I just ignored her.

Sometimes it feels like I’m losing my mind. People say it’s not normal to hear voices inside your head and I guess they are right. There was a time when I didn’t hear Zora. For some reason on my 21st birthday, I started hearing her. I assumed it was because of my depression. At lunchtime, I decided to order some food from a nearby restaurant. I usually order from there so they know to just leave the food by the door and not knock.

There are times when I feel lonely as I only really talk with Zora and my staff. But no one is really willing to hear me. They just care that I’m famous and want something from me. A long time ago I decided to not talk about myself with people. I know it’s really not healthy but people have betrayed me so much in the past that I can’t risk it anymore.

While I was grabbing a glass of water I heard a light knock on my door. I was confused because I was not expecting anyone. My assistant knows she needs to call me beforehand. The restaurant knows I don’t like it when they knock.

I went to open the door and it was a guy. He was a tall good looking black-haired guy. The guy was wearing a shirt with the logo from the restaurant. It seems he is new and doesn’t know that he is not supposed to knock.

“Thank you” - I said as I grabbed the food and started locking the door.

“Wait” - He said. I looked at him and he was looking straight at me.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” -I asked confused.

“It’s just you look familiar, have we met before? Either way, I just wanted to tell you that I think you are really cute” - He said with a smirk. I just started looking pretty confused as I think he is very strange.

“Ehm, thanks? I don’t think we have met before. I really have to go though so thank you again” - I said as I closed the door.

He was definitely weird. It was such an uncomfortable situation. I guess I won’t be ordering from that restaurant anymore. That guy gave me such a weird vibe but I can’t describe the reason why.

For the rest of the day, I just started writing new songs to keep my mind off that unusual interaction.