Chapter 1
Rose
I’ve always like taking trains since I was a little girl. The clatter of metal wheels was relaxing to me and brought back pleasant memories. Especially the long treks to my grandparents’ house in the countryside for vacations. I adored it. And now, as I sat in the train, I attempted to relive those moments to calm my nerves that had been bothering me for weeks. I’d crammed five years of my life in New York into a single little suitcase. I’ve always like taking trains since I was a little girl. The clatter of metal wheels was relaxing to me and brought back pleasant memories. Especially the long treks to my grandparents’ house in the countryside for vacations. I adored it. And now, as I sat in the train, I attempted to relive those moments to calm my nerves that had been bothering me for weeks. I’d crammed five years of my life in New York into a single little suitcase. One suitcase and five years of life? My God. What a miserable existence I must have lived, and I was completely unaware of it. Or to put it another way, perhaps I’ll approach it from the standpoint of a minimalist. Unknowingly, I tend to be a minimalist. That’s sort of a plus. Right?
I never imagined I’d have to leave this city so quickly. Okay, so five years may not seem like a short time, but I had assumed that after earning my degree from NYU, I would locate a job and remain here indefinitely. This was the strategy. And initially, it worked out for me. In my case, finding a job was simple, and losing it was more simpler. I was worried when Muixa hired me as a sales representative. But I rapidly fell in love with the job and the people I met there. It wasn’t the simplest job I’ve ever had, but it was certainly one of the most interesting. Every day, I went to work with a smile on my face, knowing that I had not squandered another day of my life. Until a new director was appointed. She attempted to get to know everyone of us, make friends, and ask about everything at first, but when the layoffs began, we already knew... She arrived to do the grunt work. We were all worried about our careers, and when I was called in for an in-person interview, I knew it wasn’t going to go well. And I wasn’t wrong. I was fired for no reason and immediately. The only thing I managed to find out was that according to the new director we had too many salespeople in the company and since I was the youngest of them all it was easy to get rid of me.
I started crying. I had a complete breakdown because my efforts to get a new work were in vain. I thought I had gone backward. I collapsed on the ground in humiliation, unsure of what I had done to deserve what had happened to me. I had, after all, tried.
Suddenly, I felt as if New York was overpowering me with its enormity, that swarms of people were impeding my progress, and that my flat was becoming too small and humid. I couldn’t stand being alone with myself, and I couldn’t bring myself to do anything.
When I called my mother in tears, she instantly gave the only way out that made sense to her.
“You should return home, honey. I’m not saying forever. Just for a little bit. You’ll gather your thoughts, work at your father’s, relax, and decide what you want to do. Consider it a getaway from the big metropolis.” I didn’t want to confess it straight immediately, but she was correct.
After a few days, I concluded that I couldn’t keep feeling sorry for myself. Losing my career is not a catastrophe, and living with my parents can be viewed as a transitory phase.
As a result, I’m here. I’m heading back to my hometown, which I had hoped to avoid at all costs, in the hope that I might need it. Perhaps I should spend some time with my family in an area I’m familiar with. And everything would be perfect if it weren’t for the knot in my gut at the possibility of confronting the past.
