Chapter 1
Since both his parents and my Aunt and uncle went to work, Daniel and I spent most of the daytime together; during the week anyway.
I did not have a proper conversation with either Aunt Mabel or Uncle Danny. Just small talk, she would ask me what I did during the day and I would tell her I studied.
It's funny how she changed after that dinner. It had been a couple weeks from then, but I wasn't upset.
Because I wasn't alone.
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One time, Daniel had not come over for four days in a row. Two weekend days and the following Monday and Tuesday.
I had begun worrying; what if he finally realized that it was useless hanging out with me. Thoughts like these scared me, mostly because they felt true.
I was sitting under the tree and reading to distract myself from........myself.
But then I heard a knock on the fence plank ( I won't bother calling it a door anymore)
Knocked twice; slow and lazy.
I set my book aside and stood up, I felt my heart beat increase with hope.
I walked over to the plank and slid it aside, "Daniel!" I exclaimed. I was genuinely happy to see him, it had felt like too long.
"Hi." He said as I let him through. He was wearing a pastel blue short sleeved sweater over a white button up shirt which had the left sleeve rolled up and folded because of his bandages, and black jeans.
"I'm really sorry I didn't come over for the last two days. I bet you got upset that I left without explanation." Daniel said as he walked in, his eyes lowered.
We started walking over to the tree; "Well, I was not exactly upset, more like worried. I'm sure you had your reasons-and Daniel...you are under no obligation to feel like you need to come over everyday. I don't want to burden you." I said as he sat down with a huff.
"I know.I come by my own will." He said. But there was something different about his voice, it did not have its usual playful tone. Then he finally looked up at me and my hand went to cover my mouth in horror.
His eyes-oh his face. He looked exhausted. His eyes looked tired and he had faint dark circles under them. He looked frail.
I immediately sat down next to him under the tree and asked, "Daniel what happened? You look worn out. Are you okay?"
He sighed and looked at me; he studied my face as though he had never seen me before, like he was trying to remember my face. Then he looked away, staring straight ahead.
"We had to go to a relatives house for the weekend. It was a mess. They asked about my arm; we told them it was an accident with the stove-but that's not the messy part. " He said, his voice was low and slow; he said his words with a slight drawl. He was definitely tired.
"They started to talk about Ella...." He paused and looked at the ground once more. "They said we should have cared for her better. They said my parents should now keep an eye on me. They said we should be watchful of our health. An argument then started and us kids were dismissed even thought we could hear them from upstairs. " He sighed and ran a hand through his coal hair.
"Things calmed down fast but remained tense for the rest of the time. We came back the next day. But I couldn't sleep....four days." He said. I scooted closer to him not saying a word, his voice was so low it was getting hard to hear.
"I dream about her. She talks to me a lot;but for the past days every time I slept I dreamed about that day. When she-"
He paused like his words had caught in his throat. He looked at me, his crystal eyes seemed hazy, far off. Daniel then continued staring at the ground and spoke once more.
"I don't want to sleep, if I do....I'll see her. It breaks me, why couldn't it have been me instead?You know Mom and Dad didn't notice I was tired because they were re-living it too. All because of our fucking relatives." He said and it caught me off-guard.
Daniel had always seemed calm, even when he was upset. I had seen his playful and sweet nature but I didn't think-I guess there's a limit to how much pain a person can tolerate.
"I hate them, those stupid assholes don't know what it's like to lose someone. I don't blame my parents for not noticing, it's not their fault. I should have done better." He had his hands in his hair and they were tightening around it as if he were going to pull. I felt a pang of fear that he might hurt himself and quickly but gently took his hands away from his head and held them.
This made him look up at me startled, like he had forgotten I was there. "Oh. I'm sorry, I am so so so sorry. I didn't mean to-" Daniel was saying shaking his head.
He was not feeling okay. I was worried about him, he needed sleep above all things; he looked as if he would pass out any moment from tiredness.
"Hey, it's okay. Listen, you need sleep alright?" I said to him softly. I placed my hand on his cheek, his face was cold. Although there was a cool breeze the weather was not that chilly.
He moved away from my hand and shook his head. "I can't. You don't understand; I cannot sleep, I won't. Nightmares."
"I do understand, I have nightmares too. About the night..." I gulped, stopping for a second then continued, "The night of the fire. I know what it's like, but Daniel please you cannot do this to yourself. Just.....at least sit here with me and rest." I pleaded hoping he would listen.
He frowned, but then took his place next to me again, only this time so that our shoulders were almost touching.
"Only for you."
