Bad Girl

My name is Bella Le Grand. It was 1990 and I had just left prison. Well, I say prison, but that sounds rather edgy and glamorous. It was actually HM Calders Edge, a Young Offenders Institution for wayward girls like me. I’d spent two years in there, with skanks and single mothers who’d robbed the local Spar to feed their kids, or weirdos who set fire to animals. I was there because I’d been set up. Now I was nineteen years old and had missed out on so many things because some bastard I thought I loved had set me up. Well, he was going to pay.

I suppose you want a bit of context. I’m an orphan. My parents were killed in a car crash when I was five, and I was brought up by Carmel, my bitch of an aunt, in Bromley in Kent. Carmel made it quite clear she hated me and that she only looked after me because of the Child Benefit money she got, and as soon as I was thirteen, she made me get a paper round, and she’d take all my wages, just so I paid my way. Then when I was fourteen, she met Mark. I’d never known her have a boyfriend and I was shocked when she met someone so much younger than her and so gorgeous. I’d never really been interested in boys before that, but Mark awakened something in me. He was only ten years older than me, and he rode about on a motorbike and got into fights and I never really knew what he did for a living.

I had such a crush on him. Of an evening when we’d all be sitting watching TV, I’d myself staring at him. He looked like a pop star, with his black spiky hair and handsome face. Sometimes I’d catch him looking at me, his unblinking, dark brown eyes seeming to be surveying my whole body. It would make me catch my breath and blush and he’d smirk and look away and I’d feel myself get wet down below. It took me a while to work out what that ache meant – this was the 80s, kids were a lot more naïve, but I soon came to realise that the only thing that could ease the ache was Mark.

At night I’d lie awake listening to him fuck Carmel in the room next door. I tried hard not to imagine her doing it, but I’d imagine he was doing it to me. Imagining him naked. He always wore tight white vests so I knew how muscly his body was. I didn’t know what it felt like, what he was doing to Carmel, but I imagined him touching me, making me make the same noises as her. I quickly discovered that if I rubbed that extra sensitive part of my pussy, I would feel the most intense pleasure that increased when I thought about Mark, until my body went tense and waves of delight would rush through me, so strong, I’d have to bite my fist to quieten the little squeaks I made

Mark made his move the day after my seventeenth birthday. Carmel was at bingo, and instead of going out with his mates like he normally did on a Friday, he said he fancied a night in and asked me if I wanted to watch a horror film with him. I jumped at the chance of spending a couple of hours alone with him, so he turned off the lights and sat on the sofa with me. I remember only half watching the film. The rest of the time I was gazing at Mark. As the red light from the vampire film flickered on him, it made him look like a demon himself, and even more exciting.

At one point, the film made me jump and Mark laughed and put his arm around my shoulder.

“Come here, you big baby.”

Even now I can remember the feeling of excitement and terror at being pressed so close to his body. His muscles were so hard. Having never had a dad to cuddle, I wasn’t aware of just how hard a man’s body was. It stirred something in me that made my heart race and my hands shake.

He looked at me and it felt like the first time anyone ever really looked at me properly. His dark eyes searching my face.

“You’re beautiful,” he said quietly.

“No I’m not.”

“You are. The only reason Carmel’s horrible to you is because she’s jealous of you.”

I didn’t know what to say. I could only stare as her came closer to me and brushed his lips against mine. I’d never been kissed before, and for my first kiss to be with someone as gorgeous as Mark, made my head spin. I had no idea what I was doing, so I just responded to him. He pulled away and undid the buttons to my blouse, and then slipped his big, rough hand inside. Grabbing my boob through my bra. No one had ever touched me so intimately…and when he ran his thumb over my hard nipple, I couldn’t stifle the moan of pleasure I gave. I had never felt anything like it before.

He moved his mouth to my neck. His stubble felt scratchy against my skin, but it excited me. He was a real man.

“Are you a virgin?” he whispered in my ear.

“Yes,” I could barely speak.

“Can I be your first?”

“Yes!”

He pushed me back onto the soda, and lay on top of me, His body was heavy and I could feel something hard and alien pushing into my thigh. I realised what it was and I suddenly felt scared, not realising it would get as big as that. He distracted me by kissing me again and I dared to touch him, reaching up and feeling his broad shoulders. He pulled away and sat up, pulling off his t-shirt. I gasped when I saw his body for the first time. His chest was really muscular and his stomach flat, and a line of hair ran down from his belly button into the waist band of his trousers. He may have only been a decade older than me, but right then it felt as though he had a whole lifetime of experience over me.

He pulled down my shorts and knickers, and I felt embarrassed at being so exposed to him, and I automatically put my hands between my legs, worried I was too hairy or it looked weird or something. He smiled and moved my hands away, laying back on top of me. He kissed my neck while I felt him fumbling with me down there. I felt a sharp pain as something entered me. I thought it was his cock, but when I saw his arm moving, I realised it was his fingers, stretching me. It felt uncomfortable but exciting as I didn’t know what was going to happen next. He then pulled out of me and I felt him fumbling at his belt and his trousers. He moved over me and I felt more pain between my legs, making me wince.

“Shshh,” he said, kissing me again. “That’s the worst bit over.”

He began to move slowly, and if felt very little except a sense of embarrassment and discomfort. I wasn’t even sure if I was supposed to do anything, and was glad when, within less than a minute, Mark started moving faster, he moaned and fell on top of me. It was over. What happened now? Did that mean he liked me better than Carmel? I could just imagine her stupid face when he dumped her for me.

He lifted his head and looked down at me. His usually mean eyes looked all sleepy and soft, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked.

“Not really.”

“You’re a beautiful girl. Can we do this again? Not tell Carmel though.”

“You still want to be with her?”

“She gives me money and stuff. That’s all. It’s you I like. I want you to be my girl.”

“Oh yes!” I gasped pathetically. “Yes Mark, I’ll be yours forever.”

And that was how it all started. Mark made sure I got on the pill, and he and I sneaked around behind Carmel’s back. When she was out we’d do it in their bed, on the sofa…once we even did it in the kitchen while she was in the front room watching Family Fortunes. I’d be lying if I said I found the act particularly enjoyable. Mark never seemed to last long enough for me to get into it, but I did enjoy being close to him. Only once did he make me make the noises Carmel did and that was one afternoon when she was out and we went to bed, and instead of fucking me straightaway, he got between my legs and started licking me. I’d been mortified at first, but he was so good at it that I soon had to give into it and for the first time ever I had an orgasm in front of another person.

Afterwards I’d felt all mushy and soft and I would have done anything for him. That was when he told me how his elderly aunt had won fifteen grand on the pools and she kept it all in a bag under her bed. Mark reckoned that fifteen grand could buy him a bike that could help him enter the TT races on the Isle of Man, but his aunt didn’t trust him. So he persuaded me to go and visit the old lady and start doing little errands for her and win her trust. By now I would have done anything for Mark so I went along with it. His aunt was a sweet old lady but Mark convinced me that when she was younger, she was a right old cow and didn’t deserver sympathy. He then persuaded me to crush sleeping pills into her tea so she’d be out long enough for me to pinch the money. I did it all because he promised she wouldn’t get hurt and we could go and live in the Isle of Man as soon as I was eighteen.

I’m ashamed to say I did it. When the old lady’s home help found her semi-conscious and called the police and ambulance, Mark dobbed me in, saying that I’d been besotted with him and had stolen the money in the hope we could run away together, even though we’d never had any sort of relationship. The police and Carmel believed him and I was set to prison for two years while he got away Scot-free.

Well I was a different person now. I needed revenge. I’d written to one of the only friends I still had, a girl called Alison Lawless, who lived in the next street and she informed me that Mark and Carmel were still together. I was glad. Part one of my plan could begin.

I chose the name Bella Le Grand from some rubbish book I’d borrowed from the prison library. It had loads of dirty bits and the pages were all worn, but those bits didn’t interest me so much. A lot of the girls I was banged up with virgins and liked reading about sex. I knew what it was really like, and was hardly bothered. My favourite thing about the book was the character Bella Le Grand, an evil bitch who kept trying to murder the heroine. I dreamt of being so ruthless, so I had left my old name behind at the prison gates and forever more now, I would be Bella.

Naturally there was no one to greet me from prison. All I had in the world was the fifteen quid I’d earned from working in the library and a bag of clothes that bad been fashionable in 1988. Miss Carter, one of the prison advocates had got me a fashionable outfit to leave in – a pair of stone washed flared jeans and a tie dye t-shirt so at least I’d blend in with the people on the coach. I had never felt more alone in the world, but at the same time it felt like my oyster, but there were people and things that had to be dealt with first.

The coach dropped me off at Bromley South Station and I walked the ten minutes to my old home. I just imagined all the old biddies looking out from behind their net curtains, whispering that that evil girl was back again.

The garage door was wide open, just as it always was when Mark was tinkering with his bikes. He was obsessed with motorbikes. He’d even taught me how to ride one, letting me ride all over Bromley Common with him riding pillion. I’d loved the feeling of exhilaration it gave me, so much so I let Mark fuck me in the woods. I was so high I felt I could have done anything.

He had his back to me, and just for a moment, I felt like that awkward sixteen year old again. He was working on a Honda bike. His blue overalls were tied around his waist and he was shirtless, his muscles ripping in his back. I could see his hair was longer now, falling down to his neck. He looked gorgeous even from the back and I had to take a deep breath and remember what he did to me.

He must have caught sight of me in the wing mirror of the bike and he turned around. I had to avert my eyes from his gorgeous chest. His face looked different too. It was broader. He’d matured. His jaw was more defined and his brow seemed heavier. He looked like a man now, and I realised it had been a boy who’d seduced and conned me.

“Hello B….”

“Bella. I’m called Bella now. I want to leave the old me behind.”

“Right. You’re looking well.”

I wished he was right. I hated the clothes, and I knew he wouldn’t like my hair. My dad was Indian and I’d inherited his straight, jet black hair and Mark used to make me wear it in pigtails she he could pull them when he fucked me. Now it was gone. My cell make Shanice was a trainee hairdresser, and she’d cut it into a blunt bob. It made me look more grown up and that would probably disappoint him.

“Where’s Carmel?” I asked.

“Hospital. She’s having a hysterectomy.”

I hated myself. I hated that my body was betraying me and responding to him. My heart rate was increasing, my breathing heavier. I hadn’t had any physical contact in two years, and whilst sex was pretty mundane, I always liked being so close to Mark. I enjoyed the sounds he made when he was doing it and looking at his face when he came….

“Nice bike,” I said, running my hand across the black leather seat.

“Yeah, I’ve just finished doing it up. I got it in an auction for a ton. Old Barry reckons he’ll give me seven hundred for it.”

“That’s good.”

He put down the dirty rag he was holding and looked at me with those dark, penetrating eyes. For a moment I felt like that seventeen year old girl he seduced and I didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry about everything,” he said. “I should have taken the blame as well, but I got scared. I thought they’d go easy on you with it being your first offence. I didn’t know they’d send you to prison.”

I couldn’t stop looking at his chest. I was sure he’d been working out more as his pecs were more well-defined. I saw he still wore that thick gold chain his dad gave him for his twenty first. That was probably worth a few quid.

“I missed you,” he said.

“I missed you too, and I forgive you for what you did.”

He smiled, and as ever, his eyes twinkled. I had to steel myself and not be distracted by it. He had ruined my life. I once dreamt of leaving school and becoming an actress. Who would want to take me on now, with a criminal record?

But I put my acting skills to use, pretending I forgave him. I walked up to him and lifhtly ran my hand across his chest. Gently tugging the patch of hair in the middle, like he always like me to.

“Oh I’ve missed you,” he moaned.

He pulled me to him and kissed me. It felt so nice to be touched, to be squashed against his big, manly body. I did my best to keep my feelings switched off and remain in character as Bella. Keeping up the shell I’d built in prison, to stop myself from getting crushed.

I pulled away and ran my hands over his six pack, feeling him quiver from my touch.

“Let’s go to bed,” he said.

I ignored him and undid his overalls, letting them fall open. I reached in and pulled his hard cock from his boxer shorts.

“The garage doors are open!” he hissed. “At least close them.”

I didn’t listen to him. I grasped his cock and started working on it, pumping it just how he liked it. He always liked me to grip the head and move my hand really slowly.

“Fucking hell,” he gasped, gripping onto the workbench for purchase. “Let’s go upstairs.”

I started moving my hand quicker, up and down his entire shaft.

“What are you doing to me?” he moaned.

“Do you want me to stop?” I whispered.

“No!”

“Do you think of me when you’re fucking Carmel?”

“Yes!”

“Do you think of my tight little pussy?”

“Yes, oh don’t stop!”

I pumped him harder and faster until he moaned and I felt his hot spunk shoot up my arm.

“Fucking hell…B….Bella,” he panted. “What did you do that for?”

I took my hand from his trousers and went over to the little sink in the corner and washed his spunk off.

“You enjoyed it, didn’t you?” I said.

“Anyone could have walked in.”

I walked back over to him. He re-tied the arms of his overalls around his waist. His chest was all sweaty and his hair was flopping over his face.

“I need you to fuck me,” I said. “I need a man. There were a couple of dyke warders who had their eye on me…”

“Really?”

I remembered how he used to pester me about bringing one of my friends home from school to join us. I never did, but he always got off on the thought of two girls together.

I ran my hand down his chest.

“And there was this one girl I shared a cell with. We were both a bit lonely so we ended up sharing a bed.”

“Oh yeah?” he smiled. “What happened?”

“I’m sot sure if I should tell you.” I didn’t even know what to tell him. It was all made up. All the girls I shared with would lay awake at night crying for their boyfriends.

He pulled me to him, and I could feel he was getting hard again.

“Tell me in bed….come on, let’s go upstairs.”

The bedroom looked the same. Full of rattan furniture, with chairs filled with Carmel’s stupid teddy bear collection. Pride of place in the middle of it all was Mr Rat, her prized position. Carmel would always go on about him because he was made by Steiff and apparently worth a fortune. Ugly fucking thing.

Mark couldn’t get his overalls off quick enough. His body was more beautiful than I remembered. Even his once skinny thighs were now more muscular and powerful looking. I couldn’t stop staring at him.

“Are you going to the gym?” I asked, running my hand over his hard abs.

“Yeah,” he panted. “I love working out.”

I pushed him down on the bed. His cock was practically on his belly. I knew he would want me to suck him, he always did, but I didn’t. This was all about what I wanted.

“So what did you and this girl do?” he asked, his dark eyes wild with lust

“Well, it was more what she wanted me to do to her. She always wanted me to be naked first.”

I stood beside the bed and took my clothes off, never once taking my eyes from his. I wished my underwear was a little more glamourous rather than the white, boring prison issue stuff, but Mark didn’t seem to care. I was aware my body had changed since he last saw he naked. I’d gone up two bra sizes and my hips had got rounder and my backside fuller. I’d wondered if he’d be turned off by it, but I could see he was liking what he saw. His hand went to his cock and he started stroking it.

I got back onto the bed and knelt beside him. I really had to use my imagination here. I’d never touched a girl in this way, and could only think back to a film he’d once shown me. It was called Emmanuelle, and it was about this woman who seemed to shag everyone she met. I remembered a scene on a squash court where Emmanuelle and this other woman touched each other tits and stuff, and Mark had got excited and shagged me there and then.

“She wanted me to touch her nipples…like this…”

I ran my fingertips over his nipples. He swallowed hard and squirmed a little. He always stopped me from touching them. He reckoned it was weird for a man to like his nipples touched and it meant he was a poof. Funny, his were now rock hard and he was panting as I squeezed them.

“Then what?” he gasped.

“She asked me to suck them. I didn’t know what to do, so I did it like this.”

I bent over and took his right nipple in my mouth, sucking it and running my tongue over it.

“Fucking hell!” he groaned. “Did she touch you?”

“She wanted me to do this…”

I leaned across him, brushing my own hard nipples across his chest. This felt different to anything we had ever done before. I was in charge and he was the helpless one who didn’t know what was going to happen next. And it was a massive turn on.

“Did you lick her out?” he asked.

“No, she wanted to finger me.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes.”

“Can I finger you?”

“Yes.”

He pushed me onto my back and looked down at me while he put his hand between my legs and pushed his fingers inside me.

“She rubbed my clit,” I whispered.

He began to rub my clit with his thumb and the feeling was so good, I cried out. I’d spent two years doing it to myself in the dead of night so no one could hear me, and I confess there were times I fantasised about Mark – after all he was the only person I’d ever slept with. Even though he’d only ever made me come once.

But it was different now. I couldn’t breathe. The pleasurable sensations were getting stronger and more intense, and I didn’t want them to stop. I reached down and gripped Marks’s hand so he’d carry on doing it.

“Did she make you come?” he asked.

“Yes!” I gasped. “Faster! Please.”

He pulled his fingers out of me and rubbed my clit with his whole hand. I couldn’t stop it now. I came, crying out, holding onto Mark’s arm until the sensations subsided. As soon as I finished he was on me and in me, holding himself up with one arm, the other holding my leg as he pumped away. It lasted thirty seconds before he moaned and fell upon me.

Just like before, he went straight off to sleep, and I was glad of it. The first thing I did was reach up and undo his gold chain. I gently pulled it off, and slithered from under him. He grumbled and I froze, scared he was going to wake up. But he then snuggled down into the bed. I quickly dressed, shoved the chain and Mr Rat the Steiff toy and shoved them in my holdall.

I went down to the garage and hunted around for the keys to the bike Mark had been fixing. I found them on the side, and I picked up a helmet off the floor. I put it on, shoved my bag into the top-box of the bike and climbed on.

I hoped I remembered how to ride a bike. When it first roared off, I thought I was going to lose control. But just how I’d learned to control Mark, I got the hang of making the bike move for me. I rode it the short journey to Barry’s garage in Beckenham. His was the dad of one of Mark’s mates and a total wrong’un. He dealt in stolen gear, and I knew for a fact he was into young boys. They were always hanging around his garage, tinkering with cars and bikes, but I knew that he wanted something in return for showing them how to fix things.

He was out the front of the garage when I pulled up. He was a disgusting looking man, fat and always swearing, like a heart attack waiting to happen. He had NF tattoo from his time when he was a member. I wasn’t sure if he still was.

He looked shocked when I took off the helmet.

“You out, then?” he said.

“Yeah, I got out this morning.”

“That’s Mark’s bike.”

“He asked me to bring it over. He’s a bit busy. You said seven hundred…”

“Is it fixed?”

“It rides like a dream.”

“Mark said he’d bring it over.”

“Like I said, he’s busy. I’ll take the cash.”

“Let me ring him….”

“Do you want me to ring Lee Turner’s dad and tell him I saw you giving Lee a blow job in the back of a Ford Fiesta?”

“Little witch,” he spat. “Wait there.”

By five o’clock that evening I was a grand richer. I’d sold the bike for seven hundred quid. A toy dealer on Beckenham High Street bought Mr Rat for two hundred quid, and I the pawnbroker next door gave me another ton for Mark’s chain. I had no idea where I was going to go or what I was going to do, but I wanted an adventure. There was no one in the world to worry about me, so I do whatever I wanted.

The one thing I’d always thought about when I was banged up in that cell was staying in a fancy hotel. Just experiencing luxury for a night. I didn’t know how much one cost, but maybe I could treat myself tonight, then tomorrow set about finding a job and a flat share. Whatever the future held for me, it wasn’t in Kent, so I bought a train ticket to London and set off, excited that my adventure was about to begin