who am i?
Hi, I’m Elijah. I’m 15.
When I was five years old I had became more tomboy-ish. I always had a masculine face like my dads, my family always called me JJ as a joke, cause i look like my dad, JJ stands for Jeff junior. I always accepted myself looking like a boy, being a tomboy. I was like a boy, masculine features, i even had a six pack. surprising for a five year old. But when i was younger i always enjoyed being outside, exercising, sports, stuff like that.
I had to cut my hair cause me and my siblings got lice badly, i got a pixie cut, i liked it for some reason, i felt like me. when we got rid of all of the lice my hair was growing back, looked more feminine again, i hated it but acted like i was okay. As i got older i continued to get more masculine, then...depression hit when i was 10. I always masked it though. I started hating myself when i was 11. That was when i first started self harming. i had a bad relapse and cut my hair, i got scared cause my parents are abusive and i knew they were going to yell at me. The next day my parents found out and took me to the barber shop, i got it fixed, i liked it, more masculine again.
As the months went by i noticed my chest getting bigger. I started hating my body, my chest, my legs, everything. later in December 31st 2019, i tried to kill myself. when it struck midnight i started cutting and taking pills. later that night i threw up ten fainted. my parents thought i actually got drunk like my sisters, i said i was and she brushed it off.
(next chapter coming soon!)
i would like to know more since i’m really thinking about this right now