A_Ayre

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Just tidy up the edges.

Great writing style, and a well contained short-story. It's a great read, and I recommend for the gradual world-building and genuinely interesting plot. Unfortunately a few grammar slips jar the reading experience, and I recommend to the author really going over this slowly. Also, what peanut butter are you eating? Peanut butter is clumpy and sticky, and a jarring simile is an bumpy start to what is otherwise a smooth ride.

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