A.L.Jordan

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An exciting & magical read!

A great read for this age group and reminiscent of Harry Potter at times. There are some really imaginative touches and I'd definitely be interested in reading the sequel.

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Hooked on the adrenaline

A great start to an exciting tale! I'd encourage anyone who's up for a teenage fantasy to give this a go.

Hey snugwithcoffee - you've already got a nice pace settled and as a reader, we're hooked by the exciting opening. The only tips I'd give are a bit more proofreading (there are just a few typos here and there) and perhaps in the opening scene when Vanessa falls, we could see this in more detail. E.g. what does it feel like when she's falling, how does she land, did it hurt. It will just help to absorb us into the world even more.

I look forward to the next installment! I'll update the review as it goes along.

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Exciting read!

A great read and a great plot! Look forward to the next installment.

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A great read of teenage love with exciting fantasy

A great teenage read! With fantasy and anticipation of love all the way through. Very enjoyable for anyone looking to loose themselves in some escapism for a few hours.

Overall, the plot is strong and once it gathers momentum the writing style becomes more natural and engaging.

For Rebecca - To be constructive, what could make the book better is in particular to work on the opening chapters just a little more. There's a little much small talk - I think the best way to fix this would be to follow one of the great rules for when writing for tv: enter the scene as late as possible and get out as early as you can. It might just help to keep the opening chapters a little punchier. This opening section is also affected by the speech a little. In later chapters speech flows a more naturally than in earlier chapters. It might be easier to print out the first few chapters and read out-loud all the dialogue, this will help to show what needs to be done to make it a little more natural in places.

In summary, really entertaining and I'd be interested in reading the next in (what I expect?) to be the series. At times, it reminded me of 'Hush Hush' by Becca Fitzpatrick. You could read this for comparison too.

Looking forward to the next installment, Rebecca!

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