AllyMay

Interesting!

This is an interesting/dark story. This is not my favourite genre of stories, but if you like descriptive gruesome stories this is the one for you.

Fantastic

Wow, I can't say I'm anything but impressed with this story! It's so unique that I can't stop thinking about it. I saw you made the chapters shorter. Just that mere difference made me want to keep reading in one go. I'm looking forward to reading more! Amazing job!

Interesting!

I really enjoyed this read. I thought the description was well done. There were sections that I was confused about but once rereading it I got the idea. In the beginning, I found myself feeling like I started reading the middle of a book. I suggest a little background be told. I liked that you described what Godwick looked like when he lit the candles. I thought it was bold of Godwick to rush over to the books and drop them on the ground when he’s an intruder. I enjoyed that Greymalken was small like a cat. I pictured him to be large until that description. I found myself confused about what “pack” meant until I read the pledge. I wonder if something could be said earlier. I thought you painted a really good picture!

Captivating

I read the first two chapters and I was intrigued the whole time! I really enjoyed Emma walking the walk. Meaning that she was able to recognize that she would be no better than the books she hates if she didn't take this leap of faith. I can see the first two chapters be the beginning of a Hallmark movie! Great work! :)

Amazing!

This story had me hooked on the first chapter! It is a different take on a magical world I've read before and that makes it feel fresh and new. I love the old stories and songs that are woven into this book. Just amazing!

Sweet

This story brings me back to high school! Trying to see who is in what class and if you like the teachers you got. I enjoyed the different personalities each friend is bringing to the table. I can tell that there is some tension between Sky and her dads friend and I am interested to learn more about it.

Interesting start!

I thought your over all idea of the story is good. It has me hooked to see if she will betray Cassidy or if she will obey the destiny her father laid out for her. During some parts I was confused on who was talking during some of the dialogue. I'm excited to read more!

Funny

I found this read to be funny. There were a couple of parts I was confused about. I missed in the beginning that Vongur was an amulet. Once I reread it, it made more sense but I wonder if there should be more of an explanation as to how he got cursed. I liked that Vongur and Gammond seemed to be buddies. I would like to have learned more about their relationship. Cool idea!!

So Descriptive!

What a descriptive piece of writing! I felt like I was right there looking at the clock punch machine. I like how you described how it sounded. It really brought it alive. I am a romantic, so the end of your chapter is really what hooked me! I wonder if we will get the lady's point of view. Regardless I am looking forward to the next chapter!

Great work!

I read the first chapter and I really enjoyed it! I like the perfective of Jack talking to Bill. I thought the writing was smooth and you were able to paint a picture. I'm excited to read more!

Awesome

Wow that is a lot of reasons why not to become famous! I wonder why she did it anyways and what are the stories for each reason! I'm very interested!

More please!

Woah, I have to say I did not see the ending on the first chapter coming. I enjoyed the misdirect. I thought she was talking to her friend about the murder. I was a bit confused about the lipstick being put on (who put it on and why on their cheek?) I wonder if that will be explained in the second chapter! I'm hooked to see where it's going!

Good start!

I found the writing was simple making it easy to follow but the dialogue felt a little awkward. I enjoyed how it wasn't a typical encounter and I wonder if the weather is going to get worse. At the end of the first chapter I was taken off guard that Matt was thinking there could be a love story. I think if you wrote more explanation on how he was feeling during his encounter I would have made the same conclusion as him. Great Start to the story! I'm looking forward to reading more! :)