Atovedd

Intriguing

Although at the beginning, your writing style seemed a little jumbled, I'm glad to write that it got better and hopefully, will continue to improve. I like how not every information is clear and given to us readers on a platter of gold. It keeps us wanting for more which is really nice. I just have two corrections for you. Firstly, I'd like you to use words correctly. In chapter 2 "... my adrenaline was alright untill her words registered entirely... " Of course, someone's words can get us worked up butttt mostly if it's a threat. They were only having a heated conversation and adrenaline works for 'fight or flight' mode. For when your body thinks you may die. It gives strength. Secondly, it's a personal preference but, I think in your dialogue, you could add some actions or movements to it so it won't seem dull in any way. I know I've written too much but I hope it assists you in giving us a nice suspenseful novel. Thanks.