It's Interesting, But Why?
Primarily, I commend the author's wisdom in getting feedback immediately on the project. It's simpler to edit one chapter than a whole manuscript.
Read the story now
The concept of a human society forced underground by war sounds most interesting, to be certain! Now all the reader needs is to be told why this setting is so interesting. No data-dumps, but subtle implications should be worked into the scene, which stands as a solid structure as it is. Perhaps a better date should be considered, since this sounds like a 22nd--24th Century society, not 26th. Plus,
- Why hovering vehicles underground? If humans are in survival/resistance mode, would they not be more practical?
- Is it a tunnel network, or just a massive dome of earth? What's it like?
- What about the buildings? Again, tunnels or dome should affect this. Does it look like a 21st Century neighborhood scene, or a system of catacombs?
- How did the humans excavate all that dirt without the aliens noticing? Was it a preexisting cave system?
- Will the aliens be VERY important later? If they're one-offs so we can have underground societies and soulless mutants, the strategy could stand reevaluation.
- If this is so far in the future, what everyday pieces of technology would exist? Is there an underground internet? Are personal devices newly made, or patched-together parts from some future handyman?
Not everything needs to be answered in the first chapter, of course, just enough to set up a scene that is normal for the characters but unusual for the reader. The place is intriguing, but it sounds like the author needs to "live" in this world for a while first before embarking on the storyline.
This story is also billed as a romance, and the setting is already non-cliche (provided no vampires emerge), and at this point it's too early to tell if the romance stereotypes are emerging. If the father figure ends up as an antagonist, though, I pray that his character will be more complex.
I normally don't go for the romance genre, but I'm keeping my eye on this one!