Overall Rating
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Grammar Punctuation


The first thing that stood out to me was the descriptions. They're pretty amazing. They really paint a picture and go very well with the scene.
I love the humour, Xaiver had me cracking up with his comment about being upset about his wife's death.
It's written well, though in one or two places it seems almost as if the was a wrong word choice. That a different choice of word would have made the sentence more effective.
Love it so far

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