ChocoboKnight

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Intriguing

Just to be clear about the ratings given: When I give feedback I try my best to be realistic and helpful, 3 stars is not a negative score, it simply indicates that while I enjoyed the fiction, I think it needs work.

Genre's Include: Mature, Adventure, Fantasy, Polyamouras Romance (nb: not harem).

Writing Style: Darkbringer writes in a clear and concise manner with expressive imagery that is descriptive, but not flowery. The exposition is kept interesting and colourful, but to the point, and certainly not long winded.

Technical Writing Skill: Grammar and spelling are good and the author makes use of a decent if at times shallow vocabulary.

Characters: While The protagonist in his new incarnation is somewhat of a Mary Sue and although I initially mistook his reserved and serious nature for being a blank slate I now think that he has enough fire to be a good driver for the plot. The supporting cast is certainly amusing to say the least, many of them are quite quirky and emotive, though due to the story's fast pace they have had little fleshing out.
The world building is the strongest part of this fiction as yet. It seems like a less fantastical version of Magic: The Gathering's world; with old, powerful individuals capable of great magical works, and a grim, medieval hierarchy of power.

Plot & Tone: The plot certainly has good hooks. Who or what is the protagonist indebted to for his reincarnation? How will he navigate the cut-throat world around him? And of course, how will he create lasting relationships in a world so acclimatised to usury and manipulation?
The general tone is hopeful and unworried, despite the grim circumstances that drive it; if you're looking for an adventure novel with a devil may care attitude, The Fallen Ascending will do you in good stead.

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Just loving it so far!

Review at time of Chapter 29

Writing Style: is really enjoyable, it’s got a steady pace with good visualisation and it succeeds quite well at creating natural, real sounding dialogue.

Story: isn’t bad but there’s really not much yet. It’s character driven, and as such it’s relaxed attitude leads to a slice of life kind of story.

Grammar: is decent, but there are certainly more spelling mistakes than your other work. Not sure if the spellchecker glitched out or what but it’s nothing offensive.

Characters: are just the best, really the dynamic between Kyle and Sera’s family is just top level. His mother also felt very much like a stern but loving mother and his friends too feel quite alive; they feel quite developed and realistic with their everyday flaws, advantages, challenges and goals.
The rest of the fiction is good, but the characters are why I’m going to keep up, and if you enjoy well conceived character driven stories then this is some of the cream of the crop as far as web-fiction goes.

Well done Darkbringer, another success. I can’t wait to see where this all goes. I expect great things from William, that little go getter.

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