Chrispy Conley

Oxford

Been writing for almost a decade now. I'm looking forward to becoming a better writer with everyone's help.

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Incredible Storytelling

I loved this. The plot is interesting and original; it's nice to see a war-time historical fiction that's not set in WWII. The style of writing is personal and intense. Much of the dialogue feels natural and real. The only critique I have is that there are a few run-on sentences that tend to detract and can interrupt the flow. Oddly enough, however, a long, run-on sentence with no breaks can help emphasize the tense confusion that the characters feel, especially during combat. The story is still a work in progress, so I'm sure that these few issues will be resolved in due time. I look forward to reading more.

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Great Potential

The plot is very interesting and I can tell that there is something more building up. The story could do with a bit more detail and a bit less telling and more showing. At times, the dialogue is a bit choppy. But I really do enjoy where the story is going and the thought that clearly went into the organization. I also feel that for something like this, the tone from the narrator doesn't match the point of view. At times, descriptions are given with exclamation points and are opinionated, which suggests that the POV is third-person-limited to Penelope and other characters(when needed). But occasionally it will say something like "She felt this way", which is rather formal when the tone of the POV is informal and more personal. There are also some grammatical errors. Overall, a few slights don't detract too heavily from the narrative, but the story could certainly be improved upon. Again, I see the potential for great writing and an interesting story.

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A fun, fresh romance!

I'll admit, I was a bit turned off when I saw that this was a vampire romance novel, but my tune changed when I actually started reading it. The plot is rather original and offers up some interesting world-building. There are plenty of fantasy elements to go along and they are blended quite nicely together. The only thing I have to say about the romance itself is: cute. It's adorable and made me feel all fuzzy. The only criticisms I have are for grammar issues. There are some minor punctuation and grammatical errors. Occasionally tenses switch from first-person past to first-person present. And every once in a while (it's pretty rare) the sentence structure can become repetitive. At first I thought that the protagonist was fairly bland, but her development is very enthralling to read and track. I highly recommend this story for anyone who wants a quick, fun romance with nicely woven fantasy elements.

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Waiting for more!

A good premise, good set-up, and interesting world. While the basic plot tends to be overdone(by myself included), the writing is sufficient enough to put a new spin on things and write a refreshing narrative. Sometimes there is a repetition of verbiage that can get monotonous, but it rarely happens and hardly creates an issue. The author switches tenses a few times, which is bound to happen when writing in first-person, which I believe is a much more challenging perspective to write from when compared to third-person. Occasionally the author ends sentences with a question mark when it is not warranted. But this story is well-written, fun, and exciting. I can't wait for more!

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