The plot is very interesting and I can tell that there is something more building up. The story could do with a bit more detail and a bit less telling and more showing. At times, the dialogue is a bit choppy. But I really do enjoy where the story is going and the thought that clearly went into the organization. I also feel that for something like this, the tone from the narrator doesn't match the point of view. At times, descriptions are given with exclamation points and are opinionated, which suggests that the POV is third-person-limited to Penelope and other characters(when needed). But occasionally it will say something like "She felt this way", which is rather formal when the tone of the POV is informal and more personal. There are also some grammatical errors. Overall, a few slights don't detract too heavily from the narrative, but the story could certainly be improved upon. Again, I see the potential for great writing and an interesting story.
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