CynRyn

The ending ruined it.

I was really enjoying this story. It had great, strong female characters and interesting dilemmas concerning the mate bond. But then a surprise twist was thrown in that didn't make sense but had the potential to be great. That potential was not met, however. Instead, the characters behaved in ways that made no sense at all and it was so frustrating that I felt compelled to write a review. I don't want to spoil the ending, but I want other readers to be prepared.

Comedic genius!

I absolutely LOVED this story! You are such a fantastic storyteller! My only critiques would be to pay more attention to the character names to avoid using the wrong ones and to use proper punctuation instead of tons of ellipses (the "..." between parts of the sentence) so the story flows better when being read. Otherwise, I say keep up the great work. You really have a talent for writing captivating plots, characters to love, and villains to love to hate.

A Diamond in the rough

Tldr; A great read in need of some polish. I highly recommend reading this. This story has a great, plot, great characters, and the potential to be fantastic. It just needs some work to get there. Many chapters read like journal entries and/or a monolog listing events and activities. In the last few chapters, the writing style changed to include more dialog between the characters which improved the pacing making it easier to engage with the story. There were characters presented as being important who were then forgotten about. There were inconsistencies from one chapter to the next with names and events. There were a lot of errors where the wrong word was used and lots of grammar and punctuation problems but I think the author might not be a native English speaker, in which case it's understandable. If the author rewrites so we read a conversation as it takes place or read about events as they are happening rather than having the story/character tell us about them, corrects the plot holes (what happened to Nathan and Eli?) and swapped names, and has it professionally proofread, it would be worth selling in print.