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Nice coming of age scifi
This is the second or third time I've read this one and I just love it. It has just about everything you could ever want packed into one scifi story. It still has some parts that are a little rough in terms of grammar, punctuation, and word usage, but it's still an awesome story. I love how detailed the characters are, even the ones who we only see for a few chapters, like Roy's childhood Greenie friends.
There is a bit of craziness with the way the chapters are setup on inkitt. The order of chapters reads, "chapter 15, chapter 17, chapter 16, chapter 18, chapter 19." Not only are the chapters out of order, but chapter 17 and chapter 18 appear to be the same exact chapter with the same exact text, only different chapter titles. That really confused me at first and I thought about stopping reading for a second before I figured out what had happened to the chapters.
Otherwise, this is an awesome story. So many angles and different things happening at the same times and breath catching cliffhangers, etc. Plus, Roy is such a dynamic character it is awesome watching him change and grow. My favorite part is the way you gave us a heart aching cliff hanger at the end. The story is over... but is it? Way to keep us wondering what will happen next even after the story is over.
Awesome steampunk/superhero thriller
Hey, you really have a gem here. I really liked it, even if at times it seems like someone took every idea from every story I ever read and stuffed them into one story. Although it was confusing at first, It was interesting reading a story set in another country that occasionally had weird words in it. That's part of what kept me reading as that was unique, even if I had trouble figuring out what a gaol was. I especially liked the way you ended it. Way to surprise the reader and build tension and curiosity for a sequel.Read the story now
Just read this and had to leave a review. I really liked your story. I love how the initial setting in the city imitates ancient society even though it's set in an apocalyptic future. Your descriptions of your characters make it easy to imagine them as I was reading. I love how every time I feel the story is starting to set into a routine, there's some kind of crazy event that turns everything upside down. Towards the end when the village attacked was an amazingly intense scene and I love that your the kind of author that isn't afraid to use character deaths, especially those we love like Fire, to drive the story forward and provide more ways for the other characters to change.
This one does need a good looking over. On a whole, the grammar and spelling was pretty good, but there were several little things here and there. There were a lot of instances of incorrectly used words, you know like when you misspell a word, but because the misspelling is an actual word, spellchecker doesn't find it. Also, there were a few instances in your dialogs where the quotes weren't attributed, so it was hard to tell which character was speaking. Additionally, there were a one or two places in your dialogs that had incorrect punctuation.
I love the little hints of foreshadowing you're laying down. Although, with the coughing thing, it almost is a little too much. By the end, we all know there's going to be something crazy coming with this disease or whatever that she's picked up. It does push me to want to read the next one though.
Overall, I loved the story you've presented here and I'm off to read the next one. Keep up the good work.
Hey, just finished reading through this. I wasn't sure you could top the previous one, but you definitely did. Your characters have more substance to them this time. More details, drama, angles, plot twists, etc. I love the character of Andra, especially in the building stages of her character. Every time I think she's come to terms with how her life is changing, she goes off and proves me wrong again. I like the method you used for when Tiri marked Andra. We all knew it was coming, but you did it in a way that we didn't quite expect. I loved the character of Colmen and as much as I didn't want him to go, I appreciate an author that is willing to kill off beloved characters in order to advance and strengthen the story. Your punctuation, grammar, etc. was much better this time, I only spotted 2-3 tiny inconsequential things in there. The ending seemed a little anti-climatic to me, I think just because the final battle in Rising Sun was so intense in comparison. Also, because the remnants of the falling action in this one seemed to be dragged out a little in my mind. Not that big of a deal though, as overall I really loved what you did with this one. Also, I see some congratulations are in order since Rising Sun won the Hidden Gems contest. Good job and congratulations, but in many ways, Bright Star is even better.Read the story now
Awesome prequel to GC series
I really enjoyed this one because of getting to see some of the characters in the GC series before they became the immortal characters we know and love. Many of Vanessa's stories mention the events that caused humans to become a spacefaring civilization and now we finally get to read about them. There's lots of action and interesting interactions between various species. Black Cloud is probably my favorite character because he is so childish in knowledge and yet has immensely powerful abilities. Yeah, there's a few errors with punctuation and grammar, but overall, the storyline is awesome and I can't wait to read the rest of this one.Read the story now
Awesome start to a GC prequel with awesome characters
I hadn't seen this story before and it was a pleasure to read new GC material, or at least new to me material. The level of proofreading in this one is much better than any of the other GC stories I've read on Inkitt. Being a pre-earth-ascension story, all the characters are unknown to us, there's none we know from other stories in the series, which brings a fresh aura to the story. There's only a few little grammatical things like using the wrong word here or there. I love the characters and the initial plot draws the reader in so effortlessly. I just want more of this!!! More chapters, please!Read the story now
Classic Space Western
This is a great story, mainly because of the uniqueness and variety of the characters. There's also several mini story lines occurring underneath the main plot. Some of the plot twists towards the end are unexpected and twist at your heart strings a bit. The punctuation and grammar could use some reworking, but overall, it's a great medium length sci fi western.Read the story now
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